Inside Nicole Kidman's Relationship With Her Kids Bella And Connor Cruise
Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise are the parents of two adopted children, Connor and Isabella "Bella" Cruise. When the couple split, the "Moulin Rogue" actor's relationship with their kids became fractured. She has since moved on with country star Keith Urban and welcomed two girls, Sunday Rose and Faith Margaret, but there has been much speculation about where things stand with Kidman and her eldest children.
The specifics of their relationship may be vague, but when Kidman speaks about Connor and Bella to the press, there's a lot of love. "Motherhood is about the journey. There are going to be incredible peaks and valleys, whether you are an adopting mother or a birth mother. What a child needs is love," she said in The Sun in 2019. She has also made it clear that there is no difference between having adopted or biological children. "It's the emotion of attaching to a child and helping to guide them and rear them [that is important]," she told Tatler in 2018.
They are all grown up, and their mom feels they've turned out well. "They are healthy and sane and together and are great, great people," she told Associated Press (via Daily Mail) in 2010. "So I'm not one of those people that needs to be reminded of what I have." But that doesn't mean everything has always been perfect. Here's how Nicole Kidman's relationship with Bella and Connor has evolved over the years.
Nicole Kidman adopted her children in in 1992 and 1995
Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise married in 1990. The "Batman Forever" actor knew she wanted to start a family with her husband, but the traditional route was not possible for them. "From the minute Tom and I were married, I wanted to have babies," Kidman told Vanity Fair. "And we lost a baby early on, so that was really very traumatic. And that's when we would adopt [our daughter] Bella."
The Oscar winner has been open about her fertility and miscarriage and how it impacted her experience with motherhood. "I wish I'd had more children, but I wasn't given that choice," she told Marie Claire in 2021. She did become a mom for the first time, thanks to adoption. First to Isabella "Bella" Cruise in 1992 and later to Connor Cruise in 1995. The love the star felt for her children was instant.
"When I held Bella in my arms, that was everything. I look into those eyes, and that crazy love happens — it's crazy love because you'll do anything when you have a child," Kidman told The Independent in a 1998 interview. "It opens up a part of your heart you didn't even know was there." At the same time, Kidman is open to them connecting with their birth parents. "That's part of my belief on adoption," she told E! News in 2016. "If a child wants to find their birth mother, I'm absolutely supportive of that."
Nicole Kidman's divorce from Tom Cruise impacted her children
There was a time when Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise were one of Hollywood's hottest couples. "He swept me off my feet. I fell madly, passionately in love," she told The Sun. And things between them moved quickly. "I was so young. I look back now, and I'm like, 'What?' I had two kids by the time I was 27, and I'd been married for four years. But that's what I wanted," she shared.
But that ended with their divorce in 2001. Following their split, something seemingly shifted in Kidman's relationship with her children."They live with Tom, which was their choice," she said in 2010, per Hello! magazine. "I'd love them to live with us, but what can you do?" Kidman and Tom agreed to joint custody of their children, but there's been much speculation about how much time she spends with them. There would be years without photographs of them in public, and there have been reports that Tom has excluded Kidman from special events, like their son's wedding, per Radar. (In 2019, Connor reportedly married Silvia Zanchi, who is a member of the Church of Scientology.)
The questions about their dynamic were fueled when Kidman accepted an Emmy for Best Actress in a Limited Series in 2017 for her work in "Big Little Lies" and mentioned only her youngest kids in her speech. "I am also a mother and a wife. I have two little girls, Sunny and Faith," she said. "This is yours."
They stopped calling Nicole Kidman 'mom'
Nicole Kidman has been reluctant to share too much about her relationship with Bella and Connor Cruise, but she has offered some rather telling details over the years. "My kids don't call me mommy, they don't even call me mom," she once told GMTV (via Marie Claire). "They call me Nicole, which I hate, and tell them off for it."
To make matters worse, Tom Cruise's second wife, Katie Holmes, had previously gushed about her relationship with his and Kidman's kids. She said in a 2007 interview with Parade (via People), "His first two children [Connor and Isabella] are incredible, really smart and kind. They call me 'Mom.'" In an interview with Vanity Fair in 2006, Holmes also spoke about the teens and their bond with their sister, Suri Cruise. "It's really special to see them [Bella and Connor] holding their little sister," she said. "To hear them talk about all of the fun things they are going to do together." Following Tom and Holmes' divorce, Suri reportedly became estranged from Tom; Suri's current relationship with her older siblings is unclear.
Despite the complex relationship dynamics between Kidman and her children, she has stressed the importance of motherhood — regardless of the circumstances. "My daughter and son, their life is molded by the way I live," she said in a 2007 interview (via People). "If I wasn't willing to take on that responsibility, I shouldn't have adopted them."
Nicole Kidman's children are members of the Church of Scientology
Tom Cruise is arguably one of the most famous members of the Church of Scientology, and his older children, Bella and Connor Cruise, have followed in his footsteps. "They are adults," Nicole Kidman said in a 2018 interview with Who magazine. "They are able to make their own decisions. They have made choices to be Scientologists, and as a mother, it's my job to love them." She added that she would continue to accept them because she is their parent. "No matter what your child does, the child has love, and the child has to know there is available love, and I'm open here," she shared.
Actor and former Scientologist Leah Remini has been far less diplomatic about the Kidman-Cruise kids' upbringing. In her 2015 memoir, "Troublemaker: Surviving Hollywood and Scientology," "The King of Queens" star claimed Bella and Connor were kept away from any outside information that, as she put it, "might get them asking questions." Remini also remembered once asking Bella and Connor about spending time with Kidman. According to Remini, Bella allegedly responded, "Not if I have a choice. Our mom is a f***ing SP." "SP" stands for "suppressive person," which is the term the church uses for anyone who they view as an enemy.
Despite this, Kidman is supportive. "I've chosen not to speak publicly about Scientology. I have two children who are Scientologists — Connor and Isabella — and I utterly respect their beliefs," she told The Hollywood Reporter in 2013.
Nicole Kidman wants her relationship with her kids to remain private
Nicole Kidman is one of the biggest stars in the entertainment industry. As such, there will always be an interest in what she does and what happens in her personal life. While she is willing to share some of it with fans, like her fertility issues, there are other aspects she prefers to keep under wraps, like her relationship with her two oldest children. "I'm very private about all that. I have to protect all those relationships," she said in an interview with the Hollywood Foreign Press Association in 2018 (via Hello! magazine). "I know 150 percent that I would give up my life for my children because it's what my purpose is." Kidman has also made a point of keeping her two youngest children, Sunday Rose and Faith Margaret, away from the spotlight.
Bella and Connor Cruise seem to be more than fine with leading relatively quiet lives. "[Connor] is DJing, he's doing really well. Bella lives in London now," Kidman said in a 2013 interview with "Extra." "I think that, you know, everybody has their own path, and when they find their path, it's such relief as a parent, you know?" She has also praised them for who they have become. In a 2014 interview with The Weekly, she said, "They are generous, kind, and hardworking, and these are traits that I love to see in my children."
Nicole Kidman has a deep love for her children
In the interviews Nicole Kidman has given about her children, she has made one thing clear: she loves them. While promoting her film "Lion," which is a story that involves adoption, she told Town & Country, "This movie is a love letter to my children." The 2016 biographical feature, which also stars Dev Patel, follows a young man who spent the bulk of his childhood with adoptive parents and wants to find his biological family. "I relate to that. I feel that for my own children who are adopted," Kidman said. "It's not about anything else other than 'I wanted you.' It's that deep and personal, and whatever your journey is, I'm here to love and support you."
Despite the obvious love she has for Bella and Connor, Kidman has been honest about how parenting can be a challenge. No matter what, she approaches it with openness and offers support. "Parenting is about learning who they are, not making them what you want them to be — letting them find their way then supporting them," she told The Sun. "It's rigorous. You're constantly looking at yourself, so you're not placing these expectations on a child." When asked to name the most difficult thing about being a mother in Vogue's "73 Questions" series, she replied, "Knowing I won't be here forever, so I won't always be here to take care of them."
Bella Cruise and Nicole Kidman reunited in 2016
Bella Cruise moved to London and lives her life mostly out of the spotlight, although she has a public Instagram page and refers to herself as Bella Kidman Cruise. There is much chatter about her bond with her mom, but she set the record straight in a 2012 interview with New Idea magazine (via E! News). "I love mom. She's my mom. She's great. I see her sometimes, and I speak to her," she said. "We're a very close family. I love all of our family."
In 2015, Bella married Max Parker at the Dorchester Hotel. Neither Nicole Kidman nor Tom Cruise were there. While there was speculation about why Bella's parents skipped out on the wedding, a tipster told the Daily Mail that they simply wanted to avoid creating a media frenzy. The source also claimed Kidman was involved in the planning process.
The wedding may have excluded Kidman, but Bella's marriage is believed to have opened doors. About a year after the wedding, Bella and Kidman reunited. "It was a very emotional moment for all of them, especially Nicole," a tipster told Woman's Day Australia (via New Zealand Herald) in 2016. "It didn't take long for her to burst into tears, and Bella soon followed." This was also an opportunity for the actor to meet Parker, and the source said she took "an instant liking" to him.
Connor Cruise says he has a 'solid' relationship with his mom
While they may not be as close as Nicole Kidman would hope, Connor Cruise has said things are good between them. "I love my mum," he said in an interview with Woman's Day in 2014. "I don't care what people say; I know that me and Mum are solid. I love her a lot. My family means everything. Yeah, I love my music, but the family comes before everything else."
His mother sure seems to share these sentiments about family. In an interview with The Weekly, the actor spoke about her children and husband, Keith Urban. "At this stage of my life, and with time being so precious, the joy I get from us as a family outweighs any joy in any other area of my life by far," she said.
In addition to working as a DJ, Connor is a keen fisherman, golfs from time to time, and enjoys barbecuing meat. Connor resides in Clearwater, Florida — yes, near Scientology headquarters and one of dad Tom Cruise's many properties. A source told People in 2018, "Connor has a pretty simple life in Clearwater." Though they lead entirely different lives, Kidman supports the path her son has chosen to follow. "Nicole only wants the best for Connor, but she gives him the freedom to make his own decisions, and that includes his religious beliefs and where he wants to live," a tipster told Hollywood Life.