The Sad Truth About Why Bill Hader Skipped SNL50

The "Saturday Night Live" 50th anniversary special reunited a host of the industry's greatest comedians and the show's alumni, from Dana Carvey to Maya Rudolph. Studio 8H became the funniest room in the world, with Kate McKinnon reprising her role as hapless alien abduction victim Ms. Rafferty, while Eddie Murphy perfectly replicated the cadence of Tracy Morgan, as the real Morgan stood next to him. However, there were a couple prominent "SNL" figures whose absences were glaringly obvious. Dan Aykroyd admitted to Entertainment Weekly that he was more content with watching the special in the comfort of his own home than participating in the studio. Bill Hader, the man we have all been yearning for since the star left "SNL" in 2013, had a more personal reason for skipping the evening.

Opening up about his absence to Seth Meyers — a late night host who got his start on "SNL" — Hader revealed that his anxiety inhibited his anticipated performance, despite his publicist saying it was because of a "longstanding schedule conflict," per Unilad. The "Barry" actor told Meyers that he even rejected Andy Samberg's idea to collaborate on a sketch about anxiety. "Andy called me and was like, 'Hey, so we're doing this short about how, you know, everybody had anxiety,'" recalled Hader. "And when he told me about it, I was like, 'I don't know if I want to do that.' He's like, 'Why?' And I'm like, 'Because I'm anxious!'" Hader said that his anxiety even caused a slew of physical ailments, including shingles, migraines, and vision loss.

Although Bill Hader's anxiety is one of the more tragic things you never knew about the "SNL" cast member, he has been consistently candid about it. He once revealed to Variety that he frequently had panic attacks when he was a cast member on the late night sketch comedy show from 2005 to 2013. "When I was on 'SNL,' I was a bit of a basket case," he told the outlet. "It could not have been easy on my wife at the time. I was so consumed with work and anxiety."

Hader has even had multiple panic attacks during a few of his well-known sketches. On the "10% Happier" podcast, Hader revealed that he experienced a major panic attack during one of his iconic portrayals of WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange. "I had a wine glass and I just put the wine glass in front of my face because I was like 'abort, abort, abort,'" Hader said. Despite the "SNL" stage manager attempting to signal him to move the wine glass away from his face, Hader said his nerves wouldn't let him fully do so. 

On the "How Did We Get Weird?" podcast co-hosted by former "SNL" star Vanessa Bayer, the "The To Do List" actor also laid bare the anxiety-fueled episode that caused him to hold Bayer's arm during a sketch. "I think you thought I was having an issue with the cue cards or something," he recalled to Bayer. "You were like, 'Hey, is everything OK?' and I was like, 'No, I just straight up had a full-blown [panic attack].'" His honesty is refreshing, albeit a sad hint that Hader may never return to the live show.