Flirty Video Of Erika Kirk & Her Ex Hints What Went Wrong In Their Relationship

By Derek Faraci
Erika Kirk Michael M. Santiago/Getty Images

Since her husband's death, Erika Kirk has transformed herself into the face of Turning Point USA and a major player in the MAGA movement. Her rise to fame has put Kirk's life under a microscope, with practically everything she has ever done being analyzed, including an unearthed video of Kirk and her ex-boyfriend. The video, which Kirk (then going by her maiden name, Frantzve) and Tyler "JT" Massey recorded in 2014, was only meant to be seen by the producers of "The Amazing Race," but it escaped into the wild in late January 2026.

In the video, the Christian mother and conservative leader takes a moment to remind Massey that "sex sells" as she pulls down on his V-neck so we can see more of his chest. It's an incongruous moment for the woman who now pushes traditional values and piety. While Kirk's flirtatious attitude has captured the attention of viewers, the video may also reveal why things didn't work out between Kirk and Massey.

Referring to themselves as "JT and E," the former couple spent most of the video showing off their playful personalities, laughing, singing, and doing goofy voices while discussing their lives. However, they also revealed some things that may have caused them problems over time.

Kirk and Massey had been together for five months when the video was shot, though as they explained, it was a long-distance relationship, which can make things difficult for a couple (especially in 2014, before video conferencing and other technological conveniences were more common). The two also discussed that, while they are both competitive, their methods of conflict resolution were very different, with Massey calling Kirk "highly confrontational" and saying she loves to argue and debate. This certainly could've caused friction in their relationship.

Erika Kirk may have been too confrontational for Tyler Massey

Erika Kirk in a green dress Roy Rochlin/Getty Images

While it isn't clear when the two broke up, Erika Kirk and Tyler Massey were possibly engaged in December 2015, suggesting that the relationship lasted a fair amount of time. It's also unknown why the couple ended their relationship, but the different ways they handled conflict may be at the heart of it. According to Marriage.com, in an article reviewed by Licensed Mental Health Counselor Grady Shumway, conflict avoidance can lead to communication issues and emotional distance. 

Erika Kirk was happy to admit that she had a confrontational personality in the 2014 video, while Massey was open about disliking confrontations. At one point in the video, Massey seems visibly uncomfortable when Kirk says that he overanalyzes things, but he quickly moves past the accusation. 

Charlie Kirk was known for his controversial and confrontational nature, and this shared element with Erika may be part of what drew them together and made their marriage work. Since Charlie's death, these aspects of Erika's personality have fueled much of the coverage about her, consequently making her an even larger voice in conservative politics. However, this could also be why Kirk's reputation with Fox News viewers is souring. Perhaps, at least for conservatives, Erika is just a bit too confrontational, which, along with her spicy outfits, challenges her tradwife branding.

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