The Tragedy Of Lindsey Graham Gets Sadder & Sadder

With over 500 people making up the legislative branch of the U.S. government, it isn't surprising that there's no shortage of heartbreaking tragedies that have affected members of Congress. And while politicians will often use their past to explain their stances on a variety of issues, some, like South Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham, tend to shy away from talking about themselves. Graham has become one of the most prominent voices of the right, and while he is often on TV making his case to the American people, he usually sticks to the present and avoids discussing the hardships he faced growing up.

Graham was born and raised in South Carolina, and, aside from times when he was stationed outside of the state as a member of the United States Air Force, has always lived there. As an officer in the Judge Advocate General's Corps, or JAG, Graham first gained notice when he appeared on "60 Minutes" when he proved that the methods the Air Force used to test pilots for drug use were flawed.  Graham's political career started when he was elected to South Carolina's House of Representatives in 1992, followed by being elected to the U.S. House two years later. In 2002, he jumped over to the U.S. Senate. But before his life in politics began, Graham was forced to deal with a number of family tragedies that shaped who he would become.

Lindsey Graham was born in Central, South Carolina to F.J. and Millie Graham, who owned and operated the Sanitary Café, a restaurant and bar. When Graham was born, he and his parents lived in a small room in the back of the business. It was his mother, Millie, who ran the business while his father, who was called "the Dude," chatted it up with the patrons. The business expanded when F.J. and Millie bought the liquor store and pool hall that connected to the building. 

Lindsey's sister, Darline, was born when Lindsey was 9, and, as Darline explained to CNN, "It was one room, where we all slept, we all ate, we watched TV, the sofa, everything was in one room." Lindsey pulled triple duty: going to school, where he was a C student; helping care for his sister; and working at the pool hall, where he would have to deal with the customers, mill workers who, as Lindsey told The Washington Post, "would come in just full of cotton and dust and they'd drink beer till midnight."  

Graham would sneak a drag of a cigarette or a sip of beer when he thought no one was looking, and, in return, the customers called him "Stinkball." It was here that Lindsey, as he put it, "learned the hard way about a little bit of diplomacy."  The Grahams would later move out of the one room, but their new accommodations, a mobile home, were far from lavish. Still, Lindsey aspired to something more prestigious, telling his high school classmates that he dreamed of being the governor.  While that specific dream would never happen, Lindsey Graham certainly became someone the town of Central would remember.

Lindsey Graham left home to attend the University of South Carolina, making him the first member of his family to go to college, though it was a close call: the future senator got an 800 out of 1600 on his SAT. Graham also joined the Reserve Officers' Training Corps. Seemingly on his way to making his dreams of being the governor a reality, Graham found out that the Yiddish proverb, "Man plans, and God laughs," had some very tragic truth to it. 

Graham was forced to take time off from his schooling when his mother, Millie, was diagnosed with stage 4 Hodgkin's lymphoma and given just months to live. In his autobiography, "My Story," Graham recalls the last week of his mother's life, saying, "She talked about heaven and told me, Lindsey, let me go." At the same time, it was discovered that his father, F.J., had prostate cancer. Graham would spend his time going back and forth between the two hospitals his parents were in. Graham's mother passed first, then his father died of a heart attack 15 months later. Graham's sister, Darline, discovered their father's lifeless body when she was just 13. 

Darline Graham Nordone would later recall finding her father's body to NPR, saying: "I can remember the day my father passed away standing in the living room of that house absolutely scared to death. Lindsey wrapped his arms around me and promised me he would always be there for me and always take care of me." 

Lindsey Graham lived up to that promise, but it wasn't easy. Just 22 years old and still in college and the ROTC, Graham was taking care of his teenage sister and running the business his parents left behind. Though Darline stayed with relatives while Lindsey was at school, he still took on a lot of responsibility for her. Warren Mowry, Graham's college roommate, explained what Lindsey's life looked like from the outside, telling NPR: "Virtually every weekend on Friday afternoons when he was done with classes he was gone. He was back up into Central to work in the store and check on his sister to make sure she was OK."

Graham opened up to The Washington Post about the challenges he faced, telling the paper, "You assume everything's going to be like Ozzie and Harriet ... That doesn't mean it's going to happen that way. So here I've got a teenager on my hands." But through it all, Graham kept pushing ahead. He received a B.A. in psychology before getting a J.D. from the University of South Carolina School of Law. From there, he joined the Air Force as part of the Judge Advocate General's Corps and became Darline's legal guardian, ensuring she would get his military benefits, telling the Post: "I paid for her college and I did all the financial deals when I got in the Air Force. I thought that was my job and I felt very happy to have done it. She is the light of my life."

After being elected to the House of Representatives, Lindsey Graham would play an integral role in the attempt to impeach Bill Clinton over his affair with Monica Lewinsky, and it was during that process that he would become close friends with Arizona Senator John McCain, and they would become even closer when Graham moved from the House to the Senate. Fellow Senator Mel Martinez described their relationship to Politico, saying: "I think Lindsey looks to [McCain] and relies on him. But I think John draws on Lindsey's energy and relies on him for a laugh." Speaking at a 2017 CNN town hall, McCain became emotional when Graham discussed their close relationship, saying: "He is loyal to his friends. He loves his country, and if he has to stand up to his party for his country, so be it." McCain would die a year later. 

After McCain's death, Graham spoke about his friend on the Senate floor, the seat to his right, where McCain sat, decorated with white roses and a black sheet. In his speech, Graham spoke lovingly of his friend, saying: "I do not cry for a perfect man, I cry for a man who had honor and always was willing to admit to his imperfection." During the long feud between John McCain and Donald Trump, Graham was always there to defend his friend, even saying "If we nominate Trump, we will get destroyed.......and we will deserve it" on X. But since McCain's passing, Graham has become one of Trump's most ardent supporters while avoiding going full MAGA and is willing to break with the president when he feels it is necessary, explaining to NBC News, "I'm an ally of the White House; I'm not owned by them."