How You Should Really End Things With Someone You're Dating, According To A Dating Expert
When you're in a relationship, the thought that it could possibly end one day is the furthest thing from your mind. But life happens, and people grow apart. There is nothing easy about ending a relationship. You can be with someone for six months or six years, and still not know what words to summon that will make it okay or keep your hearts intact. Whether one partner decides to end things or it's a mutual decision, a clean break isn't always possible. This makes initiating a breakup when your relationship is no longer fulfilling 10 times harder.
Sometimes, we become complacent in relationships and end up staying longer than we should because of the time we've put in. Our biology plays a huge part in why we stay in toxic, unhappy relationships and even ignore red flags (via Time). According to a 2015 study published in Frontiers in Human Neuroscience, participants experienced an increase in dopamine in their brains when looking at pictures of their partners, which shows how powerful our brains can be — even when we know a relationship isn't right for us.
Verywellmind stresses that while there's no right way to break up with your partner, keeping their personality and feelings in mind is crucial. TikTok dating coach Ali cosigns this idea, and outlined different ways to approach a breakup if you're unsure of how to take the leap.
How you communicated in your relationship plays a part in how you should end things
Though there isn't one way to end a relationship, TikTok dating coach Ali strongly believes that how you communicated prior to the breakup is the best strategy for ending things. In one TikTok video, she offers realistic and honest breakup advice to a follower who asked, "At what point [in a relationship] should you not text, but give the courtesy of a phone call, FaceTime, or something more personal [when breaking up?"
"When you're ending things with somebody, think about the way in which you most communicate," Ali started. "Have you only been on a couple of dates and you only talked via text message? Then, texting them probably makes sense."
In her video, Ali further acknowledges that the amount of time you've been dating, coupled with your communication style, is another deciding factor. "If you're routinely talking on the phone or FaceTiming, one of those mediums probably works," she continued. "If you're in a longer relationship, in person might be the right move. If you're still wondering, ask yourself this: 'If that person were ending things with me, how would I want them to communicate it?'"
Avoiding a messy breakup isn't always possible. But delaying the inevitable will only hurt you both in the end. You may experience a wave of emotions at first, but remember that it's only temporary — and remember when you do end things with someone, to do it in the appropriate way.