Inside Alec Baldwin's Relationship With Hilaria Baldwin
Ten years following his acrimonious divorce from actress Kim Basinger, actor Alec Baldwin walked down the aisle to marry for a second time. In 2012, he wed yoga studio owner and instructor, Hilaria Hayward-Thomas, with whom he shares many children. The couple has experienced controversy and tragedy during the course of their decade-long marriage, perhaps never more so than during the past couple of years.
Hilaria came under fire at the end of 2020 when she was accused of culturally appropriating a Spanish heritage for herself that ultimately turned out to be more of a curated public persona. Baldwin staunchly supported his wife as she weathered the storm only to find himself involved in a horrible tragedy the following year. Serving as both producer and star of the western film "Rust," Baldwin was holding a firearm on set that discharged and resulted in both injuring the film's director, Joel Souza, and killing cinematographer Halyna Hutchins (per The New York Times). Through these events and more, the couple has presented a united front, constantly using social media to share appreciation posts for each other.
Alec Baldwin spotted a woman he had to meet
Alec Baldwin met his future wife at a New York City eatery called Pure Food and Wine. "I had just said to my girlfriends, 'Universe, I'm ready to meet someone and fall in love.' And my girlfriend whacked me and said, 'Shut up, Alec Baldwin is looking at you!' (via Daily Mail). After spotting Hilaria Hayward-Thomas near the door chatting with friends, the actor felt compelled to introduce himself in a way that he would later recall as "none too clever" (per The New York Times). She describes him as approaching her, taking her hand in his, and announcing, "I must know you," before offering his card.
Once home and feeling uncertain about how to respond, Hilaria enlisted a friend to dial the number, only to have the call go unanswered. In short order, however, the two connected and ended up going on a first date along with some other friends. The evening ended with him shaking her hand and telling her that he really wanted to get to know her. At the time, Hilaria didn't worry much about his celebrity status, but she was initially concerned about their 26-year age difference.
Alec shook Hilaria's hand for the first six weeks of dating
During a stint as guest host of "The Ellen DeGeneres Show," Alec Baldwin took the opportunity to invite his wife Hilaria Baldwin onto the stage. After introducing her as the co-host of the "Mom Brain" podcast and "co-host of my marriage," Hilaria joined him in front of the audience to share some anecdotes about the beginning of their courtship. "Do you guys know that he shook my hand for six weeks and didn't kiss me when we met?" Alec, feigning embarrassment, playfully admonished her, "You shouldn't tell them that!"
Hilaria went on to describe that he would take her out on dates and talk in great detail about the future they were going to have and the family they were going to build together ... only to shake her hand at the end of the evening. "I didn't want you to think that I just wanted to have sex with you," he offered as an explanation. Whatever his strategy was, Hilaria professed, "It worked!"
Alec's proposal came as no surprise to Hilaria
Even though she knew it was coming, Hilaria was still moved to tears when her then-boyfriend, Alec Baldwin, got down on one knee to propose. "He brought me to Montauk, out by the lighthouse," she told Daily Front Row (via Daily Mail). "He's not great at keeping secrets from me, which is a very good thing. He told me earlier that he was going to propose. We're very organized." Baldwin told her that he'd chosen the spot because it was "the closest I could get you to Spain."
Alec Baldwin, who had admittedly dated a lot of people after his divorce, told The New York Times that he just hadn't been ready to take the plunge into marriage again until he met Hilaria. For her part, Hilaria said that when they met, she knew who he was, but didn't realize he was that famous. She credits the success of their relationship to her decision to resist conducting a deep dive on the Internet after meeting him. "It gave us a fair chance together, and I think it's one of the reasons we're getting married now," she told Daily Front Row back in 2012.
The couple had a lavish wedding ceremony
Just three months following Alec's proposal, he and Hilaria wed (via Daily Mail). On June 30, 2012, Alec and Hilaria made their wedding vows in front of friends and family at St. Patrick's Old Cathedral in New York City. The bride wore a gown by famed wedding dress designer, Amsale, as did her soon-to-be stepdaughter, Ireland Baldwin. During the ceremony, she also wore a mantilla-type veil and fanned herself with a flamenco fan (via Page Six). As for Alec, he wore a Tom Ford tuxedo, according to People.
The nuptials were conducted in both English and Spanish and culminated in them saying "sí," per the Daily Mail. "I liked that I brought in a bit of my culture," she said about the affair, which was attended by 175 guests, including the groom's famous siblings as well as Tina Faye, Lorne Michaels, and Woody Allen. The couple's wedding bands feature the inscription "somos un buen equipo," which translates to "we are a good team" in English.
Alec once shushed Hilaria during labor
Alec is known for the occasional outburst. In 2019, he had to complete anger management counseling after he pleaded guilty to harassment following a dispute over a parking space. Years earlier, in 2007, he faced a public relations nightmare when a nasty voicemail he left for his daughter Ireland, then 12 years old, came to light. He said to Ireland in part, "I'll let you know how I really feel about what a thoughtless little pig you are. You are a rude, little pig, okay?" (via Buzzfeed).
And, in a rough moment during labor, Hilaria Baldwin was apparently making too much noise for her husband's taste. Alec, who at one point was on a phone call, blurted out to his wife, "Shush! Can you keep it down?" as she was giving birth to their second child, son Rafael (per Newsweek). Needless to say, this didn't go over well and Hilaria thought in that moment her marriage might be over.
According to her, he realized almost immediately that he came off "like an ass," but she refused to let him off easy. "I'll spare you the details of my reaction for now. But it never happened again" she recalled to Newsweek. But, as she said, they "kept the marriage. Went on to have 522 babies after."
Their first disagreement was on a red carpet
To commemorate the ninth anniversary of their meeting, Hilaria Baldwin hilariously took to Instagram to share a photo of what she remembered as the couple's very first disagreement. According to Hilaria, she and Alec were walking the red carpet when someone irritated Alec, who stormed off and left her standing there alone. Annoyed at having to chase after him in her tight dress, Hilaria finally caught up to him and gave him the first of what she calls her "Hilaria glares."
In the caption, she wrote, "The photographer that took this photo was a super nice woman who printed it out for me and we have it hanging by our entry way. As a reminder for him to behave." This wasn't Baldwin's first time caught on camera after a disagreement. In 2011, he was documented being escorted off of an airplane after refusing to turn off his cell phone (via CNN).
The couple has experienced several miscarriages
Although Alec and Hilaria Baldwin have a large family, they've also experienced several losses during their parenthood journey together. In June 2021, Hilaria took to Instagram to reflect on everything her body had gone through fertility-wise up to that point. In the caption she wrote, "After 5 babies out of my body, 3 chemical pregnancies, 1 miscarriage at 9 weeks, one at 4 months and a round of ivf, resulting in Marilu — my body has gone on quite a journey for the family we have."
In an interview with People, Alec spoke about one Hilaria's miscarriages, saying, "She was very upset for a while, but we knew pretty quickly that it wasn't going well, you know, heartbeats and then sonograms and things like that." He also described feeling broken-hearted at the loss but affirmed that they were still planning on more children. In an Instagram post from August 2021, Hilaria wrote, "I will always be sad, they still flow from time to time, and I hold this sadness written permanently in the pages of my life's book. I also welcome and rejoice in my two rainbow babies, feeling that I am such a lucky mama."
Hilaria is the alpha in the family
Alec and Hilaria Baldwin admitted on "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" that they have wildly divergent styles when it comes to parenting. Additionally, in an interview with Elle Decor, Alec attributed these differences to the fact that he and his wife are 26 years apart in age. He recalled having very little negotiating power as a child and being physically punished occasionally when he got out of line. Hilaria takes a much different approach: "Well, you do it your way, I'll do it my way, and we'll see how they turn out! Kidding. I just feel like kids learn by example, and if you want to teach your kid to be kind, you can't be mean at them."
Alec credits his wife, who speaks to their children in Spanish, with being extremely patient and making sure their needs are met with respect. That said, they both know who's in charge of the household. As Hilaria put it to Elle: "He realizes that I'm there with the kids the majority of the day, and he's very, very good at letting me be the alpha."
Parenthood 'is the ultimate journey,' according to Alec
During an interview with People, Alec Baldwin joked that his wife Hilaria was similar to a car factory, in that she had new models (aka children) coming down the assembly line at a fairly brisk pace. He also said that they weren't finished growing their family yet. Hilaria gave birth to the couple's son Edu at the end of 2020 and the family welcomed María Lucía via surrogate a few months later (via People). Though no specific explanation has been given as to why they used a surrogate, Hilaria told People that her eldest, Carmen, had expressed some disappointment about only having brothers.
As of this writing, Hilaria is pregnant with her seventh child, whom they recently announced is a girl, so it looks like Carmen will ultimately have two baby sisters. Alec recently posted a video on Instagram of María Lucía, whom they call MariLu, mugging for the camera and offered an answer as to why the couple has so many children. The caption read, "People ask why. This is why. Being a parent is the ultimate journey."
They are extremely supportive of each other
"You have to admire Hilaria Baldwin's commitment to her decade long grift where she impersonates a Spanish person" is the infamous tweet that started all the trouble for Alec Baldwin's wife (via The New York Times). The person behind the assertion claimed that she, along with others who had known Hilaria while growing up in Boston, were incensed that she had been lying about her heritage for so many years.
The actor swiftly came to his wife's defense, even to the point of telling one social media commenter to "go f*** yourself" (via Page Six). Hilaria, who seemed mystified by the attack eventually took to Instagram to apologize, saying, in part, "The way I've spoken about myself and my deep connection to two cultures could have been better explained — I should have been more clear and I'm sorry."
Unfortunately, things only got worse for the couple in October 2021, when Alec was involved in the on-set shooting death of cinematographer Halyna Hutchins. It was Hilaria's turn to be the supportive spouse and she showed up for her husband in a similar way. In a lengthy birthday tribute to Alec shared on Instagram, Hilaria urged him to "Dial down the negative noise. It is a distraction from what life is about." She also assured him that despite everything they had been through, she would do it many times over.
The couple confronted the paparazzi together after the fatal Rust shooting
In the days following the fatal "Rust" set shooting and subsequent death of cinematographer Halyna Hutchins, Alec Baldwin was predictably hounded by a phalanx of reporters and paparazzi that were eager to speak with him. Apparently worn down by their dogged pursuit, he attempted to appease them by answering some questions in the middle of the road one afternoon (via Daily Mail). Looking worse for the wear, he told the group that he cannot respond to anything specifically related to the incident because of the ongoing investigation. As he interacts with reporters, Hilaria Baldwin circles protectively while recording the interaction on her phone.
With emotions running high, Alec admonishes his wife a couple of times during the tense exchange, but the couple collectively shames the reporter for momentarily forgetting victim Halyna Hutchins' name. Alec, who could not find the words to describe what meeting Hutchins' family was like after the shooting, characterized the accident as having a one in a trillion chance of happening. In an ABC News interview following the shooting, he told George Stephanopoulos, "Someone is responsible for what happened and I can't say who that is, but I know it's not me."
Hilaria gave Alec a reason to live after the shooting
"No matter what happens to me. No matter what I suffer. If I win or lose, anything. Anything. No one can take away from me the joy and love you have given me @hilariabaldwin," Alec Baldwin wrote in an emotional post on Instagram following his raw interview with ABC News' George Stephanopoulos. He went on to explain that his wife has "given [him] a reason to live."
The next day, Hilaria Baldwin responded with a supportive post of her own, writing in part, "'I am here, I love you, and I will take care of you.' These were the only words that came to me when we learned Halyna had died." The actor was so distraught after the shooting he said, "I might have killed myself if I thought I was responsible, and I don't say that lightly" (via Independent). He added, "I couldn't give a s*** about my career anymore."
If you or anyone you know is having suicidal thoughts, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
Alec thinks Hilaria is a saint
One thing is certain: Alec Baldwin is very grateful for his wife and their life together. The couple, along with their children, were captured in several photographs on Mother's Day as they arrived at their New York City apartment after driving from Vermont (per Daily Mail).
Alec marked the occasion by recording a lengthy appreciation post to moms everywhere, but most particularly to his wife Hilaria. "My kids are remarkably lucky," he said in the video. "'They're so lucky because Hilaria is such a good mom. She's just the most incredible mother. She loves her kids and she's so patient with them. Sometimes I just want to just ship them off to military school — I'm kidding — but my patience is not as vast as hers and reliable as hers." In the post, he referred to his wife as a saint and spoke admiringly about her unending patience with their children.
The couple wants to approach things differently with their seventh child
Alec and Hilaria Baldwin have decided they want to approach things a bit differently with their seventh child (per People). Hilaria took to Instagram to reveal the gender of her baby. The post read, "It's always been both fun and meaningful for me to find out what is the sex of my baby, yet, as I grow and learn, I want to do it a bit differently this time around. What will make our baby a loving, whole person? What matters? What will make them feel seen, free, and proud?"
The 90-second video opens with Alec telling his unborn daughter, "One characteristic doesn't define you." Their eldest daughter Carmen follows up with, "You are a complicated and multi-faceted human." Several of the younger "Baldwinitos" (as Hilaria refers to her children) successively chime in to offer advice. In their initial pregnancy announcement on Instagram, Hilaria revealed, "We were pretty sure our family was complete, and we're beyond happy with this surprise."