What You Need To Know Before Becoming A Surrogate For Someone You Know
As we get older, we begin to learn that getting pregnant wasn't as easy as they made it seem in health class. In fact, many of us may have struggled, or know someone who has struggled, to get pregnant. Not to mention, the many couples who biologically cannot have kids, like some celebrities you may not have known used surrogates. If you have a close friend who desperately wants a child, but is unable to conceive on their own, you may have thought about potentially becoming a surrogate.
According to WebMD, there are two types of surrogate mothers. One is the traditional kind, where the man's sperm is artificially inseminated and the woman carries the baby to term. The other kind is known as a gestational surrogate. In this case, IVF is used to implant the egg and the sperm into the donor. While the surrogate still carries the baby to term and gives birth, they have no biological ties to the child. Regardless of biology, both of these options come with a lot of responsibility. According to American Surrogacy, many people use a surrogacy agency to find a surrogate and many even use online forums to find the right match. But a popular option (more so than you may think) is finding a friend or family member to be a surrogate. If you may be considered that person for your loved one, here's what you need to know before saying yes.
Qualifications needed before becoming a surrogate
The fact that you are even considering being a surrogate for a loved one is an amazing feat -– many people would not even let the idea of carrying someone else's baby cross their minds. But if you have a friend or family member who has struggled to get pregnant, you likely want to do whatever it takes to help them have the child they so desperately desire. Besides the emotional aspect of things, you first need to determine if you are even qualified to carry the baby. According to Verywell Family, the very first item to check off is your age. You need to be between the ages of 21 and 37 and must have already had at least one child of your own. You also need to have a proven record of uncomplicated pregnancies and prove that you have carried to term.
In addition to your past maternal health, you must also be physically healthy, not overweight or underweight, and not a drinker or smoker. You also need to get consent from your spouse if you are legally married. According to American Surrogacy, you also need to be aware of the effects of implanting, pregnancy, and postpartum. Even if you have been pregnant before, becoming a surrogate is a whole different ball game and you should be prepared for every step along the way.
Things to consider before saying yes to surrogacy
Besides the physical aspects and qualifications needed to become a surrogate, you also need to ask yourself a few personal things before saying yes to a loved one. While you may feel passionate about helping and know you would do anything for your friend or family member, being a surrogate requires a lot of mental stamina. According to Surrogate.com, it's important to understand that regardless of how smooth the process goes, your relationship with your friend or family member will change. Communication is key should any issues arise and it is recommended to work with an agency to help keep things smooth throughout the process.
Verywell Family also highly recommends you do all your research before letting your loved one know you are considering being their surrogate. Talk to a surrogacy agency to learn the ins and outs of the entire process, speak with your support system to get their input, and even try to find other surrogate mothers who can give you insight you wouldn't otherwise find. Choosing to be a surrogate is an extremely kind and selfless act, but it does come with a lot of risks, both emotionally and physically. Always be 100% sure you are ready for the commitment.