Relationship Experts Tell Us What They Really Think About HBO's Naked Attraction Dating Show
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When "Naked Attraction" hit U.S. TV screens back in September 2023, it immediately shot to the number one spot on Max. Those who dare to watch the show get to gawk as six fully nude singles get critiqued on every part of their body, from their toes to their eyebrows, until the "chooser" selects their final choice to go on a (clothed) date with. The bizarre set-up is tagged as a dating show, but it may be better described as a surprisingly body-positive social experiment.
Despite the show's popularity, it has received mixed reviews, with some viewers scandalized by the sheer amount of genitalia displayed, some impressed by the show's boldness, and others disappointed in the superficial, looks-focused approach to dating.
To get the low-down on "Naked Attraction," The List spoke exclusively with three relationship experts: Nicole Moore, celebrity love coach and relationship expert; Jaime Bronstein, licensed relationship therapist and author of "MAN*ifesting: Attracting the Love That's Meant for You"; and Susan Trombetti, matchmaker and CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking. Here are the experts' takes on this notorious show.
Seeing someone naked is not the same as seeing the real them
There's something to be said about metaphorically stripping oneself bare and laying everything out on the table. In many cases, this sort of openness and vulnerability could be a great way to bolster trust and connection in a romantic relationship. But when someone literally strips naked in order to find someone they're sexually attracted to, the only real connection that can be ascertained is physical attraction. Without getting to know someone through conversation or learning information about them, it's impossible to know who they really are.
According to relationship expert Nicole Moore, dating the way that it's shown on "Naked Attraction" may cause someone to make false assumptions about the people in front of them. "A person's body is definitely not a true measure of who that person actually is, so the idea that seeing someone naked reveals the real them is not accurate." Moore noted that seeing someone's naked body may indicate whether they work out or not (based on the amount of muscle tone) and things like scars can indicate past physical trauma. But, ultimately, "a person's body alone could never reveal whether they're a suitable match for partnership," she explained.
The show may promote stereotypes and project morality onto bodies
Most of us know that fatphobia is a very real and detrimental phenomenon, and "Naked Attraction" may be underlining an insidious form of weight bias. Though the show does indeed showcase a wide range of bodies, it's rare for the heaviest of the dating options to be selected by the person looking for a date. And while some may say that comes down to pure sexual attraction, it may be deeper than that.
It's not unlikely that people on the show, consciously or unconsciously, see heavier bodies in a different and more negative way than their thinner counterparts. According to dating coach Nicole Moore, "judging someone solely based on their looks can actually lead to a wildly inaccurate perception of who that person is due to pre-existing biases about weight, body part size and height. For instance, movies often portray overweight people as slovenly and lazy, short men as lacking power, taller women as overbearing." Even if we don't consider ourselves judgmental or prone to stereotyping, "these societal ideas can really influence our perception of others in a negative way."
Moore adds that people on the show "having a 'hot' body or being physically attractive doesn't necessarily mean they're a good person or a great match, but it's easy to attribute positive personality traits to someone attractive without realizing it because of societal bias toward attractiveness."
Let's face it – the show is shallow
Obviously, a show with the premise of dating naked will be pretty superficial. And while this makes for some interesting TV, it may also bode badly for the future of dating. According to relationship expert Nicole Moore, lasting relationships come from choosing a person "who you're so compatible with that you'd still adore them even if their body changed."
Compared to a show like "Love is Blind," where couples date without seeing one another at all, the success rate of couples on "Naked Attraction" appears to be staggeringly low. "Naked Attraction" essentially proves one thing to viewers: Dating someone based on their looks is unlikely to result in a genuine connection.
An exception may come in the case of participants with a good amount of body modifications, as is the case with Season 3, Episode 8 participant Rebecca, who gets chosen by suitor Alex. Rebecca's many tattoos, piercings, and blue hair suggested some things about her personality — one could assume, based on her self-expression, that she is adventurous, creative, and bold. Since these were assets Alex was attracted to, the pair had more than just sexual attraction binding them together, and they were one of the few couples on the show who left with plans to see one another again.
But Naked Attraction may promote body positivity
There's a lot of shallowness, high standards, and picky daters on "Naked Attraction," but there's also something to be said for the various sizes, shapes, and types of bodies shown on the program. For example, there are almost always participants of different heights, weights, and racial backgrounds; there have also been a handful of disabled participants, including people who use wheelchairs and amputees.
For people who feel like they don't often see their body type represented on TV, this show could be a good watch due to the sheer variety of people who strip down for the show. According to relationship therapist Jaime Bronstein, watching "Naked Attraction" may be validating for people questioning their physical attractiveness. "HBO does a great job of normalizing nudity and body positivity. The show's purpose is to empower people to feel comfortable and confident in their skin and to know that people will be attracted to them just as they are, a message that many people need to receive," Bronstein noted.
The show may make people think looks matter much more than they really do
Because "Naked Attraction" is so looks-focused, it may give some viewers the idea that that's what real dating is like — and for most people, looks matter a lot less than they do on the show. According to Nicole Moore, "'Naked Attraction' unfortunately may perpetuate people's perception that relationships and dating are primarily about looks, rather than what's within. While the show does portray differing bodies, which can help those watching feel more seen, it's about judging someone based on their looks and excluding them as a potential match based on their physical body."
Moore added that viewers may watch the show and begin to wonder if looks outweigh other qualities in a potential match. "The truth is, not everyone values perfect physical attractiveness at the top of their list and the show is understandably biased toward casting those who focus more on the physical. But viewers watching should understand that not every dater out there will judge their physical appearance as harshly as the contestants are judged on the show," Moore explained.
Naked Attraction is not likely to result in long-term matches
According to Nicole Moore, the dating style on "Naked Attraction" is "similar to meeting someone at a bar and deciding just from their looks that you want to go home with them that night" and is "not highly likely to lead to a long-term relationship." However, Moore added that some couples may stand a chance, and viewers see on the show that a few pairs do seem to have genuine feelings for each other beyond sexual attraction.
But the more common result on the show is the pickers going for the absolute wrong people. According to Vanity Fair TV correspondent Joy Press, "One thing I've noticed ... is that participants talk about going on television to break their bad dating choices. But often they end up falling into the same ruts, making superficial choices based on whatever information (disembodied voices, genitalia) they have to go on. Which is why 'Naked Attraction' doesn't have a particularly good track record." Press added that the successful matches on "Naked Attraction" sit at a mere 2%, according to the U.K.'s Daily Star.
Naked Attraction bypasses potential catfishers
Many guests on "Naked Attraction" who are looking for a mate share catfishing horror stories from their pasts, remarking that nude dating is one way to avoid getting catfished. With dating apps continuing to rise in popularity, it's safe to say that filters, outdated photos, and FaceTune are the online dater's greatest obstacles when it comes to screening potential dates.
This is one area where "Naked Attraction" is successful: The bare-it-all premise prevents any sort of catfishing from happening, so for people who have been fooled one too many times, this show may be a good dating option. According to author and relationship therapist Jaime Bronstein, the show cuts out all the pretense and allows participants to see everything — no filters, flattering angles, or soft lighting to disguise any imperfections. "If you're going to see 'The Full Monty' right away, literally, there's nothing to hide. You can avoid catfishing because not only are you seeing the person's face, but you're seeing EVERYTHING, as the naked person is right in front of your eyes in 3D versus a phone screen two-dimensional person who may be hiding behind their phone," Bronstein said.
The show may resonate differently with different cultures
"Naked Attraction" has been airing in Europe since 2016, but when the show hit Max back in September 2023, it sent a shockwave throughout the United States. "Omg, I am so uncomfortable but can't turn it off," one viewer said (per NME); another shared: "What is this show #NakedAttraction on Max? What a bizarre concept! This wouldn't fly in repressed America."
The experts we spoke with agreed that the show may ruffle the feathers of some Americans. "European countries may generally have more relaxed attitudes towards nudity on television," explained relationship therapist Jaime Bronstein. "On the other hand, some American audiences might find the level of nudity in "Naked Attraction" more surprising because of different social norms."
However, if American audiences can get past the nudity, they may appreciate the concept. "Some Americans may interpret the show's approach to dating through physical aspects as vulnerable and honest," Bronstein noted. On the other hand, she added, "American viewers might also critique the show for objectifying its participants." It's certainly not for everyone, especially those who cringe at nudity or disapprove of this dating style. But for some, the show is a refreshing and entertaining twist on the typical dating show.
Naked Attraction is best for entertainment, not dating advice
It may seem obvious, but "Naked Attraction" should not be your go-to source for dating advice. In fact, the show may even be a "how not to date" manifesto if you're looking for long-term love. Matchmaker Susan Trombetti sums it up pretty well: "This is just a novel concept that grabs people's attention for a show. It's highly voyeuristic and entertaining."
According to dating coach Nicole Moore, viewers can glean some value from the show. "If viewers take the premise of 'baring all' but apply it more generally rather than solely focused on the body, this can create a positive shift in relationships and dating moving forward," she explained. "While the show's definition of revealing your true self early on is physical, the idea that you want to reveal who you really are as soon as possible at the start of dating is still a good one."
Trombetti, on the other hand, thinks the show may not be adding anything positive to the dating game. "It changes the dating landscape for the negative, keeping people from finding love because the comparison are these perfect bodies. It encourages people to be even more shallow ... A lot of singles are singles due to a shift in the way we date, and they don't need any more encouragement to be picky and shallow." At the end of the day, physical attraction is important — but certainly not the most important factor when dating.
Physical attraction matters — but not more than other factors
When it comes down to it, "Naked Attraction" is a show about the sometimes unexplainable, visceral attraction we may experience toward certain people based purely on their appearances — and it's much less about dating, love, or romance. Still, according to matchmaker Jaime Bronstein, that doesn't mean there isn't some truth and value in the show.
"A lot of educational value is offered by 'Naked Attraction!' For example, physical attraction is extremely important to most people who are looking for a relationship that 'has it all;' physical, mental, and emotional connection," he explained. But, ultimately, that instinctual attraction shown on "Naked Attraction" is not a representation of what dating is actually like. "The issue with 'Naked Attraction'-style dating is that the person you're most viscerally attracted to is not always the person who is a truly compatible match for you and in some cases, you might even be super sexually attracted to someone who is entirely wrong for you," expert Nicole Moore noted.
Moore added that physical attraction is important — but not the most important part of dating. "Physical attraction is vitally important in a romantic relationship, but true love, compatibility, communication, and many more factors are vitally more important. The idea that you should cherry-pick someone based on liking everything about their body is a very unrealistic expectation, especially when it comes to long-term relationships," she shared.