The Tragic Truth About Sara Gilbert

The following article contains references to homophobia, racism, and substance misuse. 

As the moody middle child of the Conner clan, Darlene encapsulated teen in a way that few of her contemporaries had accomplished. Long before terms like "okay, boomer" and "cheugy" entered the cultural lexicon, Darlene's passion for social justice and cynicism towards her parents were relatable for so many kids. Accordingly, the character is as salient today as she was in the 1990s. And, aside from her relatable witticisms, she remains an underrated '90s TV fashion icon, with her raven curls and oversized wardrobe reflecting the grunge era. It's hard to imagine anyone other than Sara Gilbert as Darlene on "Roseanne."

Since then, Sara Gilbert has been up to a lot. With the 2018 "Roseanne" reboot, she reprised her role as Darlene after two decades. However, Gilbert took center stage when Roseanne Barr was fired due to myriad controversies. Subsequently, "Roseanne" morphed into "The Conners," with Gilbert using her more prominent role in the series as a way of exhibiting Darlene's vulnerability. "I felt like maybe life could have worn down some of her defenses a bit," she told Deadline. "I like this idea of somebody middle class who seemed like the rising star, the one that was going to break the cycle, having kids young and staying stuck in the cycle ... But I think there's hope, too." Hope is central to Sara Gilbert's persona: despite all the hardship she's endured, she remains a perennial optimist. 

Born in Santa Monica, California, Sara Gilbert was surrounded by creatives as a child. The granddaughter of Harry Crane, who created hit sitcom "The Honeymooners," and sister of "Little House on the Prairie" star Melissa Gilbert, the youngster knew at an early age that she wanted to follow in her esteemed family's footsteps. As she explained to Entertainment Weekly, she struggled at school as she longed to be surrounded by creativity. "Honestly, I didn't really love being in regular school, so anything that put me in a more creative environment was a plus," she said. When she was five-years-old, she was cast in a Kool-Aid commercial, which provided her with a way out of conventional schooling.

On an episode of "The Talk" (via Yahoo!), she credited acting with saving her life. "I was lucky, for me personally, I was so miserable in school and having that life — the creative outlet kind of saved my life in ways," she said. "But I think that's a very unique set of circumstances and I think it still comes with its downsides even in the best set of circumstances." As her acting career flourished, she was able to stop attending regular school and instead received one-on-one tutoring, something that Sara declared was a dream come true.

At the tender age of 13, Sara Gilbert was catapulted to stardom after scoring the role of Darlene on "Roseanne" in 1988. Though she was elated with her newfound success, fame came at an odd time for Gilbert. Unlike most child actors, who tend to find fame in their formative years, Gilbert became a star right as she entered her troublesome teens. "I was a very young, awkward person," she said on "Late Night with Seth Meyers." "It's hard to have your teenage years in front of everybody."

Subsequently, while fame itself wasn't strange to the kid who'd grown up around the creative arts, juggling the everyday struggles of teenhood with stardom was at times daunting. "The only weird thing about being a famous teenager was that it's a really strong juxtaposition between the adoration and attention, and the normal feelings of loneliness and isolation that can come with being a teenager," she told Deadline.

In 1993, she was able to experience a semblance of normalcy when she enrolled at Yale. As she revealed in a sit-down with Yale Alumni Association, this came with its own set of exhausting challenges, as she had to fly to Los Angeles on a Thursday to film "Roseanne," before taking a red-eye back to New York on the Sunday, followed by a train to Connecticut.

While filming "Roseanne," Sara Gilbert dated co-star Johnny Galecki, who played her onscreen beau, David. However, during a 2013 episode of "The Talk" (via the Los Angeles Times), Sara revealed that things never quite clicked with her and Galecki. Eventually, she realized that she was feeling this way because she's gay.

But coming out as a Hollywood actor was no easy feat. Accordingly, she felt pressured to keep her sexuality a secret. "It was something people could have found out about ... and Johnny held the secret the whole time," she explained. "And I just felt so scared if it came out, what could happen. Could I lose my career? Would I ever be able to play a straight role again?" In 2010, Sara officially came out. The news wasn't a surprise to her sister, Melissa Gilbert, who revealed on "The Talk" (via People) that she always knew Sara was gay. However, she wanted her little sister to figure it out for herself.

Now a mom herself, Sara has spoken of the importance of speaking to her children about homophobia. "I remember one of them when I was engaged coming to me and saying like, 'You know, you can't really get married.' 'Cause when we first got engaged it wasn't legal," she said on "The Talk" (via On Top Magazine). "And I think, if you don't take those moments to take it further, you are doing your kids a disservice, because in their minds something's wrong."

For a decade, Sara Gilbert was in a long-term relationship with television writer Allison Adler, with whom she has two children. But in 2011, the couple called it quits. On an episode of "The Talk" (via The Hollywood Reporter) that aired shortly after the breakup, Gilbert became tearful while discussing the dissolution of her relationship. She revealed that the split left her undergoing some intense existential soul-searching. "I feel like I don't know if marriage is all it's cracked up to be," she confessed. "I've never been married, but I was in a long relationship... It's emotional for me, because we're not together ... You see people in their 70s and you wonder how do they do it? How do they make it last? And I would like to think that I can."

Although reps initially claimed that the split was amicable, Adler reportedly felt deeply betrayed when Gilbert wed Linda Perry in 2014. Accordingly, insiders alleged to Radar that the "Roseanne" star left long-term partner Adler for Perry, leaving her ex blindsided. "When Sara and Linda got engaged last year it was like the final dagger for Allison," the insider claimed. "Things might not have been roses and rainbows, but Allison would have liked to have worked on her relationship with Sara instead of just giving up."

The original run of "Roseanne" starred Irish actor Glenn Quinn as Mark, the leather jacket-clad boyfriend of Darlene's older sister, Becky. In 2002, Quinn died at the age of just 32. For many years, he had struggled with substance misuse. Though his illness was reportedly in remission while filming "Roseanne," he began struggling again when the series ended in 1997 and he moved onto "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" spinoff, "Angel." "It was at this time that Glenn's struggles took over," his sister told the Irish Independent. "We as a family were very supportive in helping him. Though there were periods of sobriety, ultimately it consumed him."

When "Roseanne" was rebooted in 2018, Sara Gilbert paid tribute to her late co-star in a bittersweet way. On an episode of "The Talk" (via Business Insider), she revealed that she and Johnny Galecki texted each other as they tried to think of a name for their onscreen son. "I thought I had to reach out to Johnny Galecki 'cause this is our kid together," Gilbert explained. "So I texted him, 'What do you think we named our baby boy?' And then I said, 'Oh, maybe Mark,' because Mark was played by Glenn Quinn who was [Galecki's] brother on the show who passed away."

Galecki agreed that "Mark" was the perfect name for his and Darlene's fictional child. Sharing a screenshot of the poignant conversation on Instagram, Gilbert concluded her post with "#namedforglennquinn."

Over the years, Roseanne Barr has engaged in alarmingly problematic behavior. Though once a liberal darling who toured with Michael Moore, Barr's politics gradually shifted to the right and she became a vocal Donald Trump supporter and "anti-woke" crusader. Eventually, her views came to spell her undoing.

In 2018, just as fans were looking forward to the second season of the "Roseanne" reboot, Barr uploaded an X post — in which she compared Barack Obama aide Valerie Jarrett to a "Planet of the Apes" character and claimed she supported the Muslim Brotherhood — that was widely condemned as racist and Islamophobic. Although Barr attempted to apologize for her remarks, even those within her closest circle couldn't explain away her undeniably offensive language. Sara Gilbert expressed her disappointment on X, effectively distancing herself from her contentious co-star. "Roseanne's recent comments about Valerie Jarrett, and so much more, are abhorrent ... I am disappointed in her actions to say the least," she wrote. In a separate post, she discussed the difficulty of navigating the show in spite of its bigoted star. "This is incredibly sad and difficult for all of us," she acknowledged.

Barr was let go and her titular show was reborn as "The Conners." Speaking to The Washington Post in 2019, Barr accused Gilbert of ruining her life. "She destroyed the show and my life with that tweet," she declared. "She will never get enough until she consumes my liver with a fine Chianti."

In 2019, Sara Gilbert announced that she was leaving "The Talk" after nine years as co-host. During her tearful goodbye, she told the audience that she had been struggling for some time and thus had to part ways with the show, much to the disappointment of her fans. She credited her decision with being overworked, having filmed "The Conners" while also hosting "The Talk," which kept her away from her family. "If I'm being honest about it, I think my life was slightly out of balance," she said. "And I wasn't, you know, able to spend as much time with my three kids as I'd like, or take time for myself."

In her aforementioned interview with Deadline, she acknowledged that, though leaving was an incredibly difficult decision, it was the right one for the sake of her kids. "I know I need to act more, and I know I need to produce, and I know I need to see my kids," she said. "I've had the opportunity to do the talk show for nine years. It felt like, 'Ok, now it's time to focus on these other things.'"

Speaking to Variety, she also admitted that the pressure to be so open about her personal life proved a struggle. An intensely private person, Gilbert conceded that she was relieved she would no longer have to discuss her everyday life on national television. "I'm okay with letting that piece of it go," she said.

There was sad news for Sara Gilbert and Linda Perry when the former filed for separation in 2019. Following an elaborate proposal from Perry, which included picnickers breaking into a string rendition of a Cure song and T-shirts with "Will you marry me?" written on them, the two got engaged in 2013. At the time, Gilbert was overjoyed, explaining on "The Talk" (via Contact Music) that there was no doubt in her mind that she wanted to tie the knot with her girlfriend. "So I think that's it and it's the most amazing proposal ever," she enthused. 

The following year, the women said their "I dos" in a romantic ceremony in Malibu. "You feel safer in a way," Gilbert said on "The Talk" (via People), "and you feel like you've really committed and it's not about, can I deal with this or not deal with it. It becomes, how will we deal with our relationship together?"

But following five years of marriage, Gilbert cited irreconcilable differences in her separation filing. In 2021, the couple, who welcomed a son six years earlier, finalized their divorce. The dissolution of their relationship appeared particularly poignant considering Gilbert's aforementioned ruminations on marriage perhaps not being everything it's cracked up to be. "You have to look at life as life, and things happen," Perry reflected in a chat with Page Six. "I'm still on an incredible adventure with Sara. I love her. I adore her."

Ever the contrarian, Sharon Osbourne is no stranger to drama, from supporting Brexit (despite living in the U.S.) to questioning Meghan Markle's identity as a Black woman. During the pair's time on "The Talk," Osbourne and Sara Gilbert appeared incredibly close, so much so that when the latter announced her departure, Osbourne was in tears. "While my husband's been sick, Sara's just gone out of her way to find him little things that she knows he'll like and buy for him," a weeping Osbourne said on "The Talk." "And he considers her a friend, too ... She's like a sister that I never had."

Despite their apparent camaraderie, behind closed doors Osbourne allegedly made some highly problematic remarks about Gilbert. According to several sources who spoke to Yashar Ali of The Reset in 2021, Osbourne frequently made racist remarks about co-host Julie Chen and homophobic comments about Gilbert. Former "The Talk" co-host Leah Remini, who was among the sources, claimed that Osbourne used highly crude, misogynistic, and racist language when referring to Gilbert's refusal to side with Osbourne in her feud with Chen. 

In an interview with the Daily Mail, Osbourne denied the allegations while repeating the racial slur she had allegedly used against Chen. She soon left the show in the wake of multiple claims of workplace misconduct. Gilbert did not respond to the allegations.

If you or anyone you know needs help with addiction issues, or has experienced a hate crime, contact the relevant resources below:

• The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website or contact SAMHSA's National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357).

• The VictimConnect Hotline by phone at 1-855-4-VICTIM or by chat for more information or assistance in locating services to help. If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call 911.