4 Signs Michelle Obama Wears The Pants In Her Relationship With Barack

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It's been years since Michelle Obama was America's first lady, but she and her husband, former president Barack Obama, remain beloved figures for many. Michelle, especially, has exuded admirable strength and fortitude both while she was living in the White House and after she and her family reverted back to being "normal" American citizens. What you might not know about Michelle Obama is that she wasn't initially keen on letting her husband run for president. In fact, she thought it was a lost cause. This wasn't for lack of faith in Barack's abilities. In her memoir, "Becoming," Michelle admitted she simply didn't think Americans would elect a black man as their president. She also didn't really see herself living in the White House, so she didn't initially support Barack's ambition to throw his hat in the ring for the country's highest office, something the former president admitted to Michelle's brother, Craig Robinson.

While having a candid chat on their joint podcast, "IMO with Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson," the two siblings recalled how Robinson had to try and convince Michelle to let Barack run for president. "You talked me into supporting his run," Michelle mused, admitting she was completely against the idea at first. "I was definitely like, nope, no way. This is crazy. We've done enough crazy stuff," she said. Her brother concurred, saying he knew Michelle wanted her two children to have a father who could spend as much time with them as possible. Being the president meant that would not always be the case. Robinson eventually managed to convince Michelle that she should allow Barack to follow his ambitions and use his talents for good. What seems to be clear, however, is that, without Michelle's blessing, Barack likely would have forfeited the chance to become president.

Michelle Obama refused to have another child after Sasha and Malia Obama were born, even though former President Barack Obama floated the idea of the couple adding a third child to their family. While making an appearance on Kylie Kelce's "Not Gonna Lie" podcast, the former first lady recalled how her husband broached the subject and that her immediate answer was no. "Barack was like, 'We should have a third,' and I was like, 'Dude,'" Michelle quipped, adding that she was perfectly happy being a mother of two. She joked that having a third child would be risky anyway. "You know, I'm thinking we're gonna get a crazy one," she quipped. She also said that Barack was the perfect girl dad. "I told Barack, 'Dude, you need a bunch of women in your life to smack you around,'" Michelle joked.

In the past, Barack has praised his wife for how well she raised their daughters, saying he's an incredibly proud father. "They are sweet, kind, funny, smart, respectful people, and they treat everybody with respect," the former president said during a 2017 interview with ABC News. He reflected that he always feels proud when he hears from other people who interact with his daughters about how thoughtful they are. He added that navigating life as the president's children wasn't always easy for Sasha and Malia, especially during their teenage years. "But they've handled it with grace, and I give Michelle most of the credit for how well they've done," Barack said.

Aside from seeking his wife's blessing before he ran for president, some people say former President Barack Obama would not have made it to the White House had it not been for Michelle Obama. In her book, "The Obamas: A Mission, a Marriage," Jodi Kantor revealed that Barack is, in fact, quite the introvert, with Michelle being the one with the more outgoing and spunky personality. She credited the former first lady for helping her husband land the most coveted job in the country during an interview with The Guardian. "I don't think he would be president without Michelle Obama because she's the one who connects him with other people," Kantor said.

The author added that, while the first lady often has a very behind-the-scenes role, Michelle didn't allow herself to blend into the background during Barack's tenure. "I watched her find ways to assert her power," Kantor said. "This is a story of a woman who, at the start, was put in a very retro role. Her challenge is to find ways to be powerful." According to Kantor, Michelle's natural people skills helped her gain leverage and create a powerful role for herself within the White House. 

Indeed, many pundits were eager for Michelle to make a bid for the White House after former President Joe Biden dropped out of the 2024 race and endorsed former Vice President Kamala Harris. Even before Biden dropped out, rumors were running rampant, with left-leaning pundits hopeful that the former first lady could put Donald Trump in his place. Alas, her office released a statement amid all the scuttlebutt, quashing the rumors.

Michelle Obama doesn't mince words — not in her marriage and not in public. She admitted on "The Diary of a CEO" podcast that she initially tried to set Barack Obama up with some of her friends. The two of them were getting along like a house on fire, but she wasn't initially interested in a romantic relationship. Her husband-to-be eventually managed to win her over. But, even from that point, their relationship wasn't always smooth sailing, and Michelle has been upfront about the work they've put into it.

"People give up too quickly on marriage," Michelle asserted. "There is so much friction built into the equation." In fact, during a 2022 interview, Michelle admitted to Revolt TV (via The Guardian) that there was a certain time during her marriage when her husband was far from her favorite person. "There were 10 years where I couldn't stand my husband," she confessed. "And guess when it happened? When those kids were little." But the couple powered through. "10 years – we've been married 30. I would take 10 bad years over 30 – it's just how you look at it. And people give up ... [saying], 'Five years — I can't take it,'" the former first lady added.

Michelle also boldly addressed the divorce chatter that had been plaguing her marriage on "The Diary of a CEO," telling the host, Steven Bartlett, "If I were having problems with my husband, everybody would know it ... I'm not a martyr. I would be problem-solving in public." She assured the host that she'd never been secretive about marital issues, and if there was a divorce coming, people would know. 

Michelle Obama won't suffer through an event she doesn't want to be at just to keep rumors about her marriage from running rampant; thank you very much. Michelle sent divorce chatter into overdrive when she wasn't at Barack Obama's side while he attended former President Jimmy Carter's funeral in early January 2025. Her absence was reportedly due to scheduling conflicts, but that didn't keep the rumors at bay. 

The former first lady made waves again when it came to light that she wasn't going to attend President Donald Trump's 2025 inauguration. To the whole world, it seemed like something was amiss between Michelle and Barack, and the rumor mill ran wild, so much so that Michelle eventually addressed the gossip during an episode of her podcast "IMO."

The former first lady made it clear that she was setting boundaries for herself and that her absence at the aforementioned events had nothing whatsoever to do with problems in her marriage. She did, however, make it clear that she was trying to put herself first for a change, even if it meant Barack was attending events on his lonesome (which he seemed to manage just fine). "My decision to make choices at the beginning of this year that suited me were met with such ridicule and criticism," she said. "It took everything in my power not to do the thing that was perceived as right but to do the thing that was right for me." She added that learning to say no was something that was new to her, but that she wanted to set a good example for her kids.