Kristi Noem's Most Obvious Attempts To Hide Her True Age
The physical shapeshifting Kristi Noem has done over the years hasn't gone unnoticed. After being eyed and recruited by the Trump administration, Noem went through such a drastic MAGA makeover that everyone wondered if she got plastic surgery. However, we're also starting to wonder if the former South Dakota governor's newfound obsession with youth might be a byproduct of her MAGA phase, as well. A bit before and after her ascension to the White House, the U.S. Secretary of Homeland Security has gone to great lengths to appear younger than she is.
Aside from frequently applying pounds of makeup, Noem's desperate attempts to look half her age included sporting a teenage updo and showing some skin to seemingly prove she's still got it. While how successful she's been at shaving a few years off of herself has been questionable, it's clear that Noem won't rest until she's convinced everyone on Earth that she isn't as old as her birth certificate claims she is, including herself. That would explain why she hasn't quit trying to channel her younger self, despite the disastrous results she's had by doing so. In many cases, trying to pass off as younger has only made her look older.
She became a video game character after trying to filter out her age
When posting videos of herself on social media, Kristi Noem has a habit of using makeup and filters to scrub out as many signs of aging as possible. The quality can often vary depending on how heavy-handed she is and the lighting, but we found one instance where the combo betrayed Noem in an almost unforgivable way. On Instagram, the Northern State University graduate posted a video of herself playfully challenging business mogul Mark Cuban to a debate. The offer came after Cuban asserted that president Donald Trump avoided being around strong women, a statement which Noem took personally.
However, we questioned if we were seeing the real Noem throughout the video, or an AI-generated double. In what might've been another attempt to appear ageless, the heavy makeup and enhanced filter made Noem's face too flawless to look natural. The video also helped further earn Noem her Barbie nickname, since her complexion was doll-smooth and seemed factory-made. This incident demonstrated her youth fascination like no other, since it was another example of Noem preferring to look young over preferring to look human.
She showed her age trying to blend in with the cool kids
Kristi Noem might've hoped the more youthful glow of other younger family and friends would rub off on her. Unfortunately, it had the exact opposite effect in this Instagram post. In the picture, Noem is posing and smiling alongside other women who appear decades younger than the outspoken politician. To perhaps further blend in with the others, she wore a black sweatshirt and gray sweatpants that looked either borrowed or stolen from one of her pals in the shot.
Even more embarrassingly, Noem was the only one in the group photo heavily layered in makeup, whereas the others were all natural for the most part. The makeup only further highlighted the age gap between Noem and the rest. Ironically, the three girls' more relaxed approach to beauty made them seem a bit more mature than Noem.
Her attempts to look younger by posing next to older women backfired
Kristi Noem showed off her figure a bit when she posed in the middle of two women who looked as though they could be Noem's age or older. The message she wrote on the Instagram photo revealed that she ran into the two women by chance. However, we wouldn't be surprised if Noem saw an opportunity to show off how young she thought she looked in the picture.
Whereas Noem's new friends were dressed more age-appropriately, the woman herself looked like she was dressed for a breakdancing competition. She wore a green long-sleeved shirt and a tighter grey shirt underneath, both of which were short enough to expose some of Noem's waist. As wholesome as the image was, it definitely showed the difference between embracing and fighting old age.
She thought shopping for clothes at the kids' section would throw us off
Kristi Noem took her desperation to new levels when she took an Instagram picture of herself smiling in a white top that she should've aged out of when she hit puberty. The blouse not only looked too small on her, but the design alone seemed like it was aimed at kids who wanted to pretend to be princesses or fairies.
Noem would've been better off wearing a suit like her contemporaries Senator Rand Paul and Robert F. Kennedy Jr. did. But apparently, Noem couldn't resist trying to de-age herself in the shot, which unfortunately inspired yet another one of her many fashion disasters.
She dug up her prom dress for a White House dinner
Kristi Noem was one of many guests invited to a White House dinner hosted by president Donald Trump. She made her followers on Instagram feel they were at the dinner alongside her by posting pictures of herself and her husband at the event. "Date night at the @whitehouse! With some of my favorite friends invited too," she wrote in her caption.
However, her husband's outfit was much more suited for the night than Noem's was. Noem looked like she wanted to relive her high school prom in a silky pink dress that she tried hiding her real age behind. She wore her signature makeup to further sell the look, but we imagine the obnoxious garb made her stand out even more. Especially since its baggy long sleeves and wide skirt made it so that she couldn't help but brush past her fellow politicians.