The Shady Way Michelle Obama Called Out Barack For Neglecting Family Time In The White House

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Michelle Obama went to great lengths to keep her family united amidst Barack Obama's eight years in the White House. During a June 2025 episode of Michelle and her brother Craig Robinson's podcast, "IMO," the former first lady acknowledged that she sometimes had to give her husband a not-so-subtle nudge when Michelle felt that he wasn't devoting enough time to their two daughters, Malia and Sasha Obama, due to Barack's demanding job. Staying in line with the playful nature of their relationship, the bestselling "Becoming" author would then draw his attention to the glaring problem by singing the lyrics of "Cat's in the Cradle:" "When you coming home, [Dad]? Don't know when." 

This shade left us worried about the state of Michelle and Barack's marriage. However, as Stephanie Wijkstrom, MS, LPC, NBCC, the CEO and founder of The Counseling and Wellness Center of Pittsburgh, exclusively reassured The List, our fears were ill-founded. Confirming that metaphors and references are a great way to ease a partner into a more honest conversation, she opined, "Michelle's approach is especially valuable as an initial, supportive strategy, offering a gentle way to encourage and reinforce a partner's parenting focus." Still, Wijkstrom also cautioned that certain references could create confusion instead of opening up a further dialogue with your partner. 

Thankfully, the former first lady already had that area fully covered. On "IMO with Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson," she recalled how her conversation with Barack progressed after she made the reference. "I was like, 'You're going to look up, and the girls will be gone,'" Michelle warned him. "Because there is a little window that parents don't understand — a time when your children even want to be bothered with you."

In 2022, Michelle Obama told NPR that her marriage had not been an even partnership over the prior decade or so. As she explained, "Somebody was always giving way more. Someone always needed a different kind of thing." Although the former lawyer insisted that they both made compromises along the way, "There were times when I felt like I was 70% in, and he was doing 30%." The former first lady, who broke all the fashion rules, also confessed that she put her career on the backburner to focus on raising their children. 

However, Michelle noted that such major trade-offs were a regular part of marital life. In fact, young people who want to marry ought to be aware that it's hard work, and they may even have to endure years-long patches of "discomfort." The "Light We Carry" author opened up about one such rough patch during a 2022 appearance on Revolt TV, disclosing, "There were 10 years where I couldn't stand my husband," (via The Guardian). Michelle's frustrations stemmed primarily from the imbalance in their parental duties as they juggled careers and childrearing in their girls' younger years. 

In April 2025, Barack Obama made a candid confession that confirmed he wasn't done paying his dues to Michelle. While speaking at Hamilton College, the former president admitted that he was in "a deep deficit with [his] wife" and was trying to make up for lost time (via the Daily Mail). Hopefully, he's expressing himself well since, as Stephanie Wijkstrom exclusively advised The List, "If neither gentle indirect communication nor expressing feelings and needs moves the needle in our efforts to communicate with our partner, it can [...] signal a deeper need for repair or support in the relationship."