The Tragedy Of Aubrey O'Day Is Just So Sad

The following article includes allegations of abuse and sexual assault.

Aubrey O'Day was thrust back into the spotlight in response to the 2025 trial of rapper and producer Sean "Diddy" Combs, laying out her complicated past for all to see. O'Day originally entered into the music industry in the early 2000s with her girl group, Danity Kane. As a young girl in the pop music scene, O'Day was introduced to a series of troubles that befall many in the industry. From grooming to addiction, the singer was exposed to the true harms that often come along with fame. Also, at the beginning of her career, O'Day was left under the mentorship of none other than Diddy himself.  

Coming out of the girl group, O'Day found her way onto some reality TV shows, before returning to music. In 2025, the ex-Danity Kane member reflected upon the early years of her career. Her experiences as a young woman navigating the pitfalls of fame were alluded to in a warning she issued on X (formerly Twitter) to young people seeking out the same path as herself, urging others to walk away if something doesn't feel right. "No dream, however bright, can outweigh the pain and exploitation that may follow if you remain," she wrote.

Aubrey O'Day's tragic life started at a young age. Before the fame of Danity Kane and the headline relationships with fellow celebrities, O'Day was a young girl from California. Living under her mother's roof, the young singer was exposed to violence at the hands of her own parent. Though she's never explicitly shared the exact abuse, she has alluded time and time again to the trauma her mom would inflict upon her. As O'Day explained in an episode of "Marriage Boot Camp: Reality Stars," her mother would often abuse her before passing out. Despite the attacks, O'Day would panic when her mother locked herself away and fell unconscious. "I always got so scared that she was gonna die," she detailed of the many experiences. "So, I'd pick her lock, and she'd just be passed out" (via Us Weekly).

O'Day has rarely shared any specifics, though on "Marriage Boot Camp," the Danity Kane singer said, "The things I remember ... she locked me out of the house for a couple days and I just begged her to let me back in." After leaving her mother's home and rising to fame, O'Day entered into a relationship with Pauly D from "The Jersey Shore." Their relationship was tumultuous, made clear by the comparison of her reality TV star boyfriend to her mother. When O'Day recounted the abuse from her mom, she told the reality show production, "It's the same f***ing thing Pauly does to me."

If you or someone you know may be the victim of child abuse, please contact the Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-4-A-Child (1-800-422-4453) or contact their live chat services.

With Hollywood fame sometimes comes the pitfalls of addiction, and for Aubrey O'Day it was no different. As her career began to take shape and Danity Kane blew up, the young star was asked to face her greatest fear: flying. She developed the fear not from a bad flying experience or tragic story, but instead from listening to Alanis Morrissette's "Ironic" one too many times as a child, a song that mentions a plane crash. O'Day fell into an anxiety-ridden state when it came to flying beginning when she was 17 years old. It was then that she was introduced to Ambien. 

It started off as a solution to her fear of flying, to help her sleep while in flight. Though it helped, the popularity of Danity Kane meant more than one flight every few weeks. As O'Day told Entertainment Tonight, she was flying three to four times a day and using Ambien on every flight to curb her anxiety. But this wouldn't be the only drug that doctors pushed on the young singer. When O'Day appeared on "The Tamron Hall Show" in 2022, she explained how the situation got out of control. "Doctors were giving me medications and telling me take this and take this and then you'll be aspirational. I was taking about, if I'm going to be completely honest, 16 pills a day," she revealed (via People).

If you or anyone you know needs help with addiction issues, help is available. Visit the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website or contact SAMHSA's National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357).

Aubrey O'Day first met Diddy through competing on "Making the Band 3" in 2005 when she was only 21 years old and the producer was 36. The series ushered the pair into business together, which revealed Diddy's controlling and volatile personality. "After coming off of Diddy, there's not many people you can go into a room with and get that type of high from," she said on "The Crysis Queen Podcast."

Later on the podcast, O'Day described the process through which Diddy began to have more control over her. "Grooming is a process, they don't just abuse you on day one," the singer shared. "You get little bits of things that make you attracted and excited by and then once they've got your attention, they let you know about yourself in different ways." Her disturbing claims of Diddy's grooming soon escalated to sexual assault. 

Though O'Day has admitted to not being aware of the assault, the 2025 Netflix documentary "Sean Combs: The Reckoning" details an assault perpetrated by Diddy and another man. According to an eyewitness account, the Danity Kane member was inebriated on a couch when the crime was discovered. In response to her traumatic experience and treatment by the producer, O'Day has not remained silent. She has called out Diddy's toxic and dangerous behavior multiple times. 

If you or anyone you know has been a victim of sexual assault, help is available. Visit the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network website or contact RAINN's National Helpline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673).

With her long-standing presence in the public eye, Aubrey O'Day — like many women in her field — has had her body scrutinized by the media. There's no denying that O'Day's body has changed since breaking into the music scene, but the natural fluctuation of her figure earned the former Danity Kane member some brutal reactions. Trolls online, publications, and TV personalities took the opportunity to take swings at her looks over the years. The jabs mounted to an uncomfortable number during the pandemic when the Daily Mail labeled the singer as unrecognizable (via E! News). She noted in a conversation with E! News, "My body's been on the chopping block since I was 17. Those were not the first fat photos. There's been a lot of fat photos of Aubrey and I wasn't even fat."

In September 2020, the celeb responded to the fat shamers, in a post on X. O'Day, posing in a black bathing suit, wrote, "When is this industry going to stop abusing women's bodies!" adding, "This is degrading!" Despite her sharp-tongued response to the haters, the singer was left with real pain after the wave of body shamers had targeted her. As she told E! News, "I'll spend the rest of my life trying to heal with how many inaccurate things have been told about me."

At 39 years old in March 2023, Aubrey O'Day shared a heartbreaking update on her personal life. Just two months prior, in January 2023, O'Day had walked the red carpet for the SPiN Awards gala, proudly debuting a baby bump. She shared the happy news with her then-partner, whose identity she kept under the radar. O'Day would later tell E! News, "This isn't my first pregnancy, but it is the first time I was mentally healthy and in a physically prepared place to care for another life." Just two months later, O'Day would vulnerably share with the publication that she had suffered a miscarriage. 

Stricken by grief, the singer revealed the ways she had blamed herself during the process of mourning. But O'Day knew she was not alone, and addressed women who had lived through similar experiences. "I also want all the women out there in the world that have experienced this grief to feel all the love my soul has to offer, and more importantly remain reminded that we are here to support each other!" she shared with E! News. O'Day would go on to encourage women who had experienced miscarriages to reach out to her, offering her support to them directly. She had taken her heartbreak and turned it into a positive mindset. "When my baby is ready, he/she will come, and forever be my grateful miracle," O'Day said.