Critics Roast Mike Johnson's Premiere Pose With Wife: 'Uncomfortable Homecoming Dance Picture'

Might we suggest the Speaker of the House start avoiding cameras the way a vampire avoids garlic? Seems like every time Mike Johnson poses for a photo, it doesn't end well for him. Take, for instance, Johnson's cozy photo op with Erika Kirk in late January 2026. Posting it on Instagram, he added a message about inspiration and how Turning Point USA would soon see its "best days." Even his conservative followers called him tone-deaf. How could Turning Point be better without its beloved co-founder, Charlie Kirk? And why did his grieving widow look so darn cheerful? (That cute thumbs-up wasn't her best move.)

Just a few days later, Johnson followed up that image flub with an even cringier one. He and his wife, Kelly Johnson, were among the lucky few invited to attend the premiere screening of Melania Trump's documentary. (And by "lucky," we mean "at least they got out of the freezing cold for a couple of hours.") Like the other attendees, they posed for press shots. Unlike other attendees, the Johnsons looked about as natural and comfortable as burlap underwear.

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The awkward shot didn't go unnoticed by detractors on X (formerly Twitter). Humorist Paul Rudnick compiled a list of descriptions of the pose, including "Turning the raw sexual heat up to 12," "Worried that the movie will show kissing," and "Looking like they've never met." Another wit suggested, "This looks like an uncomfortable home coming dance picture they take when you first walk in." The general consensus was that the Johnsons didn't seem like a truly bonded couple. "He always looks as if he is trying to get away from her," commented a user. "Weird body language for a couple 'married' for years."

Of course, couples don't have to hang all over each other to prove they're deeply in love. Sometimes, that clinginess even suggests a duo might be trying too hard. Take newly engaged Donald Trump Jr. and Bettina Anderson, whose constant PDA feels performative. (We've seen leeches that were less attached.) But despite having been married for nearly three decades, Mike and Kelly Johnson give off vibes that aren't so much romantic as phoning it in.

Even if they're in a marital rut or downright miserable, we won't see the House speaker and his wife going their separate ways any time soon — or ever. The Johnsons have a "covenant marriage," meaning they have pledged never to divorce under any circumstances. It's a form of marriage based in conservative Christian teachings and legally recognized in just three states. (Couples can split up, but the law makes it much harder to do.) In an interview with ABC News, Kelly dismissed traditional unions as "marriage light" because their permanence isn't guaranteed. The online critics joked about that, too: "How's that covenant thing working out?" asked an X snarker.

Never fear: There was plenty of acid wit left over for the actual film the Johnsons saw. Jokes abounded about empty theaters and Trump cabinet members being forced to attend. But we at least have to give the happy couple credit for putting in an appearance. First daughter Ivanka Trump was conspicuously absent from "Melania," suggesting she and her stepmother might have an icier relationship than the Johnsons.