Our Body Language Experts Weigh In On How Harry & Meghan's Relationship Has Changed Since Leaving The U.K.
Prince Harry and Meghan Markle have not had an easy go of it since they stepped down as senior royals in January 2020. The couple has since settled in the Montecito neighborhood of Santa Barbara, California, and carved out a life for themselves and their two children. The couple has been much more vocal about their lives since they parted ways with the royal family, through their Netflix docuseries, "Harry & Meghan" and Harry's memoir, "Spare." Despite this tell-all attitude, we're still occasionally mystified by the couple and benefit from some professional interpretations from body language experts.
We got an expert to break down Prince Harry's non-verbal cues with past girlfriends compared to those with Meghan and even got a body language expert to examine Harry and Meghan's Christmas card from 2023 as it departs so starkly from the card sent out by Prince William and Princess Catherine. Once again, we've sought out the expertise of body language experts to decipher the postures and poses of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. This time, our specific inquiry is to understand how their relationship has changed since they left the United Kingdom. In this exclusive report, The List spoke with three world-renowned body language experts to get the real story of what's going on with the couple, and the results are quite interesting. We moved chronologically through Harry and Meghan's major public moments since moving to the U.S. to get a better grasp of their story.
Harry is the secondary character when he and Meghan visit a school in Harlem
In September 2021, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle visited a school in Harlem, New York, where Meghan read her children's book, "The Bench," to students. It has since come out that Harry and Meghan's team had the NYC public school sign release statements so a camera crew could collect footage for a documentary. In much of the footage of Harry and Meghan in New York, Meghan is leading the way (via ABC7NY).
Body Language Expert and Celebrity Relationship Coach Nicole Moore explored this visit for The List. "Harry's priority at the time was supporting his wife and letting her shine," Moore explained, noting that Meghan didn't look at Harry very much during this event. "Harry's behavior at this moment is consistent with what his body language reveals about their relationship at the time," Moore told us. "Harry was in the support role, taking a back seat to allow his wife to step forward into the spotlight."
Moore also broke down their outfits. "Meghan and Harry's choice of clothing at this children's event may also indicate the dynamics of their relationship at the time," Moore added. "Meghan is wearing a large, billowy jacket in a power color, with matching color shoes appearing elegant and very put together while Harry is in a basic black t-shirt and slacks, making him appear more casual and less of a power player." Meghan's the star here.
Harry is second to Meghan at the Global Citizen Live event
In September 2021, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle appeared at the Global Citizen Live event in New York City to promote vaccine equity. During the event, both held microphones but Meghan stood ahead of Harry and her stance seemed to indicate that she was leading the event. Nicole Moore, Body Language Expert and Celebrity Relationship Coach, explained how this event shows changes between the couple since leaving the U.K.
"Harry and Meghan are still in the 'all about Meghan' stage," Moore told The List. "The couple's focus at the time remains Meghan taking the spotlight with Harry playing a supporting role. In the photo we see that Harry is leaning slightly toward Meghan, with his body tilted toward her, indicating his priority is Meghan, not the crowd. Meghan, in contrast, stands in a power position with her shoulders back, hips square, her body positioned fully in the direction of the crowd."
Moore also noted the couple's hand positions on their microphones. Harry held his casually with one hand, while Meghan gripped hers with both hands. "Their body language here is suggesting a clear message that both partners are public, but it's Meghan that will be doing double the speaking," Moore told us. Our body language expert noted that Meghan's stance was powerful, but she still smiled softly. "This may indicate that at this moment, Meghan is feeling safe and protected and able to be strong due to Harry's supportive presence," Moore added.
There was a power struggle between Harry and Meghan at a gala in New York City
In November 2021, the couple attended the Salute to Freedom Gala in New York. Prince Harry gave an award, while Meghan Markle joined him in a red gown by Carolina Herrera. "We see Meghan dressed in a super bright red dress, a stark contrast to the colors she wore as a royal, potentially indicating a feeling of freedom to be herself," Nicole Moore, Body Language Expert and Celebrity Relationship Coach, told The List. Moore noted that at the beginning of the night, Meghan followed Harry's lead. "This indicates that there are times where Meghan does in fact look to Harry to lead, perhaps especially when it comes to more formal engagements that are typically related to Harry's old role as prince," Moore explained.
But things shifted throughout the night. "Harry appears relaxed and happy while speaking with the military family members but Meghan reaches out awkwardly to touch his elbow, almost grabbing it," Moore said. "It appears as if Meghan was feeling uncomfortable or antsy in that moment and she reached over to Harry for comfort." Meghan became more touchy throughout the night and pulled at Harry when he was speaking to guests. Moore noted that it was possible that they discussed ahead of time Meghan's role in getting Harry out of conversations. "But if not, the body language here definitely indicates a need on some level for Meghan to control Harry," Moore said.
Harry and Meghan were a united front at the queen's Platinum Jubilee
In June 2022, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle left California to attend Queen Elizabeth II's Platinum Jubilee celebration. Harry seemed more at ease, while Meghan remained a step behind. Nicole Moore, Body Language Expert and Celebrity Relationship Coach, told The List that Meghan's hat choice, a bespoke piece by Stephen Jones Millinery, is significant here.
"It's clear from Meghan's body language that she was very uncomfortable," Moore explained. "Meghan is wearing a hat tilted downward on her face, almost obscuring part of her face. This choice may indicate a desire to hide, and her facial expressions seem to support that theory. Meghan walks behind Harry, dutifully putting herself in the support role position but she has a very tight smile with tension in her face, indicating she's not fully comfortable being at the event."
At this event, Harry and Meghan appeared to be a united front. "As the couple sits down in the chapel, Meghan's energy completely changes and her face is soft and smiling with teeth showing, indicating genuine happiness," Moore explained. "Meghan is turning her entire face toward Harry while she's speaking to him, a body language gesture indicating that she's truly there for him and has her full attention on him." Noting their loving interactions, Moore added, "This indicates that at the time, the couple's primary source of discomfort was likely an outside factor and not relationship issues between the two of them."
Meghan and Harry showed tension at the United Nations Assembly
Prince Harry and Meghan Markle attended an event at the United Nations in July 2022. During the event, the two showed different reactions, which can be seen in a video posted on YouTube. "Meghan is beaming and happy the entire clip while Harry's demeanor immediately changes when Meghan grabs his hand," Nicole Moore, Body Language Expert and Celebrity Relationship Coach, told The List. "His face becomes drawn with tight lips in a straight line, indicating seething inner tension. What's interesting is that Meghan keeps smiling as she grabs Harry's hand repeatedly indicating that she is completely unaware that her grabbing him is having a negative effect on him." Moore believes that this indicates an emotional disconnect between them.
The two seem to want different things during this event. "She's reaching for closeness, presumably, but Harry is feeling stifled by it as evidenced by the fact that he tries to let go of her hand several times throughout the clip," Moore said. "Meghan's body language here does indicate a subconscious need to control Harry and Harry's body language indicates that he doesn't like this control but he needs to be stiff-lipped about it and keep that discomfort hidden."
But Moore didn't take the event as a totally bad sign. She explained that Harry and Meghan showed genuine connection in moments. "However, there is likely a lack of emotional honesty. Meghan's body language at times indicates a need for control and Harry's indicates discomfort that he doesn't feel safe to speak up about," Moore said.
Meghan and Harry find balance in Germany
Prince Harry and Meghan Markle visited Germany in September 2022, one year before the Invictus Games Düsseldorf 2023. Meghan wore a white turtleneck by Annie Bing, cream-colored slacks from Brandon Maxwell, and white heels. While the palette was neutral, the style showed a departure from her time as a working royal. Meghan clearly used sartorial messages to speak of her own shift from the U.K. while Harry wore a grey suit with an open shirt.
In Düsseldorf, they greeted fans, took selfies, and met with local officials and competitors readying themselves for the games. In photos from the day, Meghan seems to be comfortable in a position of power, greeting people while Harry steps aside. The List spoke with Body Language Expert Adrianne Carter, also known as The Face Whisperer, to get her take on what this event showed us about their relationship after leaving the U.K.
"Harry is happy for Meghan to take the lead and he is not too proud to stand back," Carter told us. "It also demonstrates a gentlemanliness about him, he doesn't need to make it all about him and he wants them to be seen as equals rather than her being a plus one." Carter also explained that Harry's body language shows a lack of interest in the spotlight. "In this capacity, it's the ideal relationship as she does seem to want and need the limelight and the focus to be on her," Carter said.
The infamous Windsor walkabout was awkward
Following the death of Queen Elizabeth II, Prince William, Princess Catherine, Prince Harry, and Meghan Markle greeted mourners outside of Windsor Castle on September 10, 2022. Once called the "Fab Four," the two couples looked worlds apart as they walked out together, and the awkwardness seemed palpable. The photos consistently show William and Catherine walking side by side, while Harry and Meghan seem to cling to each other. In a video posted on YouTube, we see the richness of the body language between the couples. William and Catherine are looking over in what seem to be power poses while Harry and Meghan recede.
We spoke to Body Language Expert Adrianne Carter about what this return to England meant for Harry and Meghan as a couple, especially in contrast to William and Catherine. "It looks to me like Harry and Meghan want to demonstrate to the world 'look how close we are as a couple', this may be the case but it's more normal for royals to not do over demonstrative displays of affection," Carter told The List.
"And also, it may be a bit of 'we will be demonstrative because we can' attitude." In Carter's expert opinion, this was a legitimate choice for Harry and Meghan to make, but it didn't showcase them as authoritative. "It makes them look more dependent on each other," Carter explained. "William and Kate, look strong and confident and more powerful as they stride out side by side."
Harry and Meghan showed slight defiance at the queen's funeral
Prince Harry and Meghan Markle held hands on September 14, 2022, after the lying-in-state service for Queen Elizabeth II in Westminster Hall. They got a lot of flack for holding hands because most of the other family members didn't. Ahead of them walked Prince William and Princess Catherine who did not hold hands. There were a few other differences, too. Meghan carried a small, black purse while Catherine had no handbag on her. Prince William was in full military dress, while Harry wore a suit because he stepped down as a senior royal. So sartorially, Harry and Meghan stood apart from William and Catherine.
Body Language Expert Adrianne Carter told The List that Harry and Meghan's decision to hold hands was deliberate and conscious. "There's an air of slight defiance around their public displays of affection," Carter explained. Harry and Meghan knew that they'd attract some negative attention for the public displays of affection, but decided to proceed anyway. Nevertheless, Carter saw, at their core, a real desire for connection between them, in no small part because Harry had just lost his grandmother. "However, I do think they are an affectionate couple genuinely and there is a closeness that they are happy to be on display," Carter said. So there is a sincerity in their bid for tenderness.
Meghan was the doting wife at the Robert F. Kennedy Human Rights Ripple of Hope Awards
Prince Harry and Meghan Markle received the Ripple of Hope human rights award from the Robert F. Kennedy Human Rights organization at a gala in New York City in December 2022. The event was hosted by Alec Baldwin and Meghan and Harry were honored for bringing attention to issues of racism and mental health. Harry was affable and joked with the crowd. The couple also mentioned that their charity, the Archewell Foundation, would be collaborating with the RFKHR, so it was a big night for the ex-royals. The couple really dressed up, too. Meghan wore a bespoke white off-the-shoulder dress by Louis Vuitton, while Harry wore a dark suit and tie.
The couple seemed happy and synched up all night, peacefully sharing power, made evident by the two microphones. The List spoke with Body Language Expert Adrianne Carter, also known as The Face Whisperer, who assessed the couple's dynamic throughout the evening. "She demonstrates the doting wife, laughing along with her husband and at how witty and clever he is," Carter said of Meghan. "It does seem genuine and it's hard to fake this level of enjoyment so it looks like all is well between them and their relationship at this point," Carter added, but did give a small caveat. "We do always need to remember though that Meghan is an actress."
The couple looked close and happy at an NBA game in Los Angeles
The couple attended an NBA game in Los Angeles in April 2023 at the Crypto.com Arena. The Lakers played the Memphis Grizzlies, and the event was clearly exciting, as everyone got very hyped. Meghan wore a peach-colored blazer and shorts by Staud, while Harry dressed down in dark jeans and a blue jacket. And the two were very noticed that night. They sat in a VIP box, but the fact that they stood for much of the night seemed to suggest that they didn't mind being spotted. In one moment during the evening, they appeared on the jumbotron, as someone shared on X (formerly Twitter). Harry jokingly leaned in for a kiss, and Meghan laughed and swatted his arm.
Body Language Expert Adrianne Carter told The List that at this event, things looked really solid between the two. "From their body language, they are close together," Carter began. "We are happy to be close to things/people we like and are getting along with. All seems well in their relationship from this body language." At the Lakers game, it's clear that Harry and Meghan seemed to be enjoying each other's company and having a great time.
Meghan leads the way at the Women of Vision Award in New York
Prince Harry and Meghan Markle arrived at the Women of Vision Award in New York City in May 2023, along with Meghan's mother, Doria Ragland. Meghan was an honoree at the event and rocked a gold, key-hole dress by Johanna Ortiz. When they arrived at the event, they entered in a train rather than walking in together, with Ragland walking between Meghan and her husband. The entrance was an unusual one, considering that Harry and Meghan frequently hold hands at events. Plus, Meghan was clearly leading the way here.
Body language expert Jess Ponce III, communication coach and author of "A.W.E.S.O.M.E.: Seven Keys to Unlocking the Speaker Within", spoke with The List about this particular event. "This photo captures two notable moments," Ponce began. "Firstly, Meghan takes the lead in the procession, standing as the central figure. Secondly, Harry, displaying his gentlemanly nature, graciously encourages his wife and mother-in-law, Doria Ragland, to precede him." This procession was very significant to Ponce in terms of Harry and Meghan's exodus from the United Kingdom and the royal family. "This departure from royal protocol suggests the couple's genuine embrace of their American experience, with the event clearly spotlighting Meghan," Ponce noted. "Harry and her mother stand beside her in supportive roles." Clearly, Harry was making a lot of space for Meghan to have her big moment that night.
Harry and Meghan look like a strong couple at the 2023 Invictus Games
Prince Harry kicked off the Invictus Games in Düsseldorf, Germany in September 2023, with Meghan Markle joining him a few days later. They both seem very smiley at the event. It's interesting that Meghan's holding the microphone, but Harry doesn't seem to mind. A lot of the online noise (via YouTube) around the event was that Meghan made the games about her, and drew too much attention to herself through inappropriate outfits and out-of-touch speeches. But Harry didn't seem bothered by this; in fact, he hardly noticed.
Body language expert Jess Ponce III spoke to The List about this event and broke down the dynamic between the couple at the 2023 Invictus Games. "In a striking pose, Meghan holds the microphone in her right hand, gazing upward at the crowd with a beaming smile, fully immersed in the moment," Ponce explained. "Her left hand is behind Harry, who leans into her, showcasing their strong connection as a couple."
However, Ponce points out that Meghan is the star here, even though Harry is the patron and founder of the games. "Though they are united, it is evident that this is Meghan's moment," Ponce says. "Harry's folded hands and forward gaze convey his comfort with the situation, acknowledging his role in something greater. He embraces the idea that it's not about him, finding fulfillment in supporting his wife, allowing her to shine." Harry's certainly a team player here.
Things get awkward for Harry and Meghan at Kevin Costner's fundraiser
In a video shared on TikTok, viewers were able to catch a moment at Kevin Costner's fundraising event for a first-responder charity called One805. Prince Harry and Meghan Markle gave Costner an award for his charitable works, but the overall vibe of the experience seemed awkward. Meghan reached for the microphone twice on stage but the event host refused to give it to her. Harry signaled to the man to give Meghan the mic, but he still refused. They pulled together a professional front, but it looked uncomfortable.
Body language expert Jess Ponce III spoke to The List about the non-verbal cues that Harry and Meghan revealed in this interaction. Ponce noted that the couple benefited in the past from royal guidance. "Undoubtedly, the most awkward appearance of Harry and Meghan occurs at Kevin Costner's fundraiser, highlighting the uncharted territory they navigate without royal protocols," Ponce smartly noted. "Harry appears comfortable not being the center of attention, respecting his wife's desire for a more prominent role. Meghan, however, struggles to fully grasp this transition, be it in England or Hollywood. Despite the discomfort, Harry adeptly navigates the situation with a calm demeanor, committed to supporting Meghan. He understands the challenges, embracing the idea that her star may shine brighter, yet his charismatic charm remains evident." There certainly was an awkward interlude, while Meghan and Harry figured things out on stage. No doubt they'll be more prepared next time.
Harry and Meghan struggle to find their identity in a post-royal world
In October 2023, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle traveled to New York City for the first-ever in-person Archewell Foundation event for World Mental Health Day. The event's focus was strengthening mental health for families in the digital age. The event went off without a hitch, but the function was very revealing in terms of their relationship, particularly after leaving the United Kingdom. Body language expert Jess Ponce III spoke to The List about the cues that Harry and Meghan gave.
"Harry and Meghan appear disconnected, influenced by several factors," Ponce began. "Seated apart with chairs facing outward, they seem distant." Despite this, Ponce noted, Meghan was attentive to Harry when he addressed the audience. "While Harry speaks, Meghan directs her energy toward him, leaning in his direction with focused attention. Although her closed-off posture suggests some detachment, her intent listening is evident in her eyes. There is a noticeable shift when she follows up, discussing her family in the first person."
While there was evident attention between them, Ponce rightly noted that Harry and Meghan have had a hard time securing their footing in a post-royal world. "The disconnection extends not only between them but also to their relevance in the dialogue," Ponce noted. "Overall, this image reflects their struggle to find their identity in a world beyond Hollywood or the royal palace." It's been difficult for them to find their niche after stepping down as senior royals.