Tragic Details About The Secret Lives Of Mormon Wives Stars

The following article mentions infertility, depression, domestic violence, child abuse, sexual assault, self-harm, suicidal ideation, and eating disorders.

When "The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives" premiered on Hulu in September 2024, it all but dominated the reality TV zeitgeist. The reality series about eight members of "MomTok," the Utah-based group of young women who became popular on TikTok because of their dancing videos, offers a fascinating peek into the lives of the influencers, all of whom have ties to the Church of Jesus of Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Unlike trad wife queen Hannah Neeleman of Ballerina Farm, these Mormon influencers don't shy away from getting messy in front of the camera. 

Their manager, Danielle Pistotnik, recognized that there was major reality TV potential before Hulu scooped up the series. "It was so clear that there should be something long form and people should get to see this, especially because they're Mormons, and I think there's such a misconception of what those people are," Pistotnik told Deadline. "In reality, these girls are just funny and cool and pretty and you want to hang out with them."

After the group imploded because of a "soft swinging" scandal, cameras went up and they were off to the races. Viewers have since gotten to know so much about each of these women, including some tragic details about their not-so-secret lives.

At the end of the "The Secret lives of Mormon Wives" series premiere, Taylor Frankie Paul, perhaps the most controversial influencer in the group, got arrested. In early 2023, cops were called to her home after a domestic dispute between her and her partner, Dakota Mortensen. Filming paused after the arrest and didn't resume for months. When Paul was finally back in front of a camera, she didn't detail much of her arrest or the aftermath. However, according to reports, the incident was quite intense. 

Per court documents, "Dakota reported feeling scared for his life. Dakota was observed with redness and swelling around his eyes, swelling on his elbow, scratches on his fingers, and a laceration on his neck," as reported by the New York Post. "Paul admitted to throwing the metal chairs and wooden playset," the document read. The influencer was charged with domestic violence in the presence of a child, aggravated assault, child abuse, and criminal mischief.

By September 2023, Paul had reached a plea deal, and it seemed that she was putting the arrest behind her. "Court is officially over til next year. They'll just check in and see how I'm doing — if I'm still doing better. As much as I wish that night had went differently, I felt like hitting rock bottom actually helped me in some ways. Made me seek help that I wasn't getting," the influencer said in a TikTok video, as reported by the New York Post.

Out of everyone on "The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives," few have gotten heat like Whitney Leavitt. The reality star has been dragged online for her relationship with her husband, her behavior toward her cast mates, and for uploading a video of herself dancing next to her infant son while he was hospitalized with RSV. While the video was an odd way to share that information, the backlash took a dark turn. "It was really bad, people were telling me to end my life, they wished my family would die," Leavitt shared with BuzzFeed News of the situation. Leavitt took down the video a day after posting it.

As noted, Leavitt's child was hospitalized with RSV, a potentially fatal illness for infants that causes cold-like symptoms and breathing issues. RSV has gone through an unprecedented rise in recent years, and is the leading cause of hospitalization for infants in the United States. Leavitt and her husband were understandably rattled when they learned of their son's diagnosis. "Send some prayers for lil lee right now. He got admitted this morning cause of low oxygen and tested positive for RSV," Leavitt shared on Instagram in December 2021. "It's honestly so overwhelming. It's hard to not feel helpless in times like this." Leavitt's son's condition improved after a few days in the hospital, and after some time at home, he was able to breathe on his own. "He's awesome. He's healthy. He's sleeping horribly. But other than that, he's doing great," Leavitt said.

Conner Leavitt shared a really vulnerable, painful part of his past on the reunion episode for Season 2 of "The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives." Conner Leavitt and his wife, Whitney Leavitt, have debunked various rumors around their relationship, but Conner's revelation about his past was far more grave than anything that has buzzed up around them before. The painful revelation was actually an unaired scene from Season 1 that hadn't been aired. While speaking about his assault and that therapy would help him and his family, Conner explained what had happened. 

"I needed to get help, so we started going to therapy and trying to figure out why," Conner said, per People. "And I knew something I have only shared with Whitney and my therapist and my family." Then he went on, "When I was a little boy, I was raped. And when I was finally honest with that emotion and that memory, everything made sense." When they brought it up during the reunion episode, Conner thanked everyone present for being so sensitive about the subject, thereby creating space for that vulnerable moment of sharing. He also stressed that what mattered was how people find ways to heal and grow from such traumatic, childhood pain. 

The stars of "The Secret lives of Mormon Wives" have certainly opened up in front of the cameras, but there was only so much that could make it into the final cut. The first season of the show but scratched the surface of what Mikayla Matthews was going through. 

The MomTok star suffers from a unidentified chronic illness, but the first season didn't really dig into her experience or her struggles. After the show premiered, she opened up on social media and in interviews about the years she's spent trying to figure out exactly what's wrong. "After I had my third child, I started getting really bad allergies. Then I started getting molluscum on my neck, and then little rashes all over. After that, I got my breast implants in, and the rashes got even worse," the influencer told Newsweek.

Matthews' health struggles made filming the reality series difficult, too. "Showing up for filming the whole first season was not only physically exhausting but extremely mentally challenging and watching the show it's very obvious I was fighting for my life, not only cause I'm surrounding by crazy women lol but because I was really really struggling," the reality star wrote on Instagram. Matthews has since had her breast implants removed and has seemingly made progress toward recovery, but she still has a long healing journey ahead.

Mikayla Matthews shared her own history of pain and abuse during Season 2 of "The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives," which dealt with childhood sexual assault at the hands of several perpetrators. While Matthews spoke about it during the season, she elaborated on an episode of "The Squeeze" podcast, sharing that she and her six siblings were raised in California. When her parents divorced, her mother moved them all to Utah. It was in both California and Utah that the abuses occurred. "I feel like it's hard ... to pinpoint an age of where it all started because I did open up [on 'The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives'] about being sexually abused, and that happened before we moved to Utah. ... I don't know what age I was, anywhere from, I'm guessing 6, 7, [or] 8," she said. She added that the abuse stopped when she was around 15.

To make matters even more difficult, when Matthews told her mother what had happened, her mother didn't believe her. "I definitely feel weary about my relationship with my mom, even though we're not super close," Matthews said in an exclusive with People. She added that she feels empathy for her mother, even though her mother didn't offer her the support that she needed when she disclosed her childhood trauma.

On Season 1 of "The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives," Jen Affleck acknowledged that she and her husband, Zac Affleck, were going through a rough patch. This rough patch reached fever pitch when the cast went to a Chippendales show in Las Vegas. Zac reprimanded Jen for attending the show, going so far as to question her morals and even threaten her with divorce. 

Since filming those episodes, Jen has not only had time to reflect on the Chippendales disaster, but she's been very open about the status of her marriage. "I think what was wrong about the situation was that he just didn't trust me, and he didn't trust that I could navigate the situation," Jen told Today, adding that much of the disconnect between the two stemmed from their religious beliefs and expectations. "If we were at a bachelorette party and we're just celebrating, it wouldn't have been a big deal. But because we're representing our church, and [I think] he knew that millions of people were going to see that, [he was] scared that they would put me in a tough situation with filming, and that they would portray me in a different light that I'm not."

Jen has continued to open up about her relationship on Instagram and in other interviews. As she told Decider, she and Zac have made an effort to work on their marriage, noting that they began therapy immediately after filming wrapped. 

Jen Affleck and her husband, Zac Affleck, have been major faces in "The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives." Despite their shared last names, Jen and Zac are not related to Ben Affleck, but that alone has made for numerous topics of conversation. In Season 2, Jen changed the mode, and shared much more serious things that were going on in her life beyond a confusion about sharing a family tree with the "Deep Water" actor. 

While filming Season 2 of their Hulu show, Jen shared that her pregnancy with her third child brought on and exacerbated mental health issues. In fact, she was dealing with serious depression and suicidal ideation. "I dealt with something that a lot of pregnant women deal with, which is prenatal depression," Jen shared, per People. "And unfortunately, I had to go through that during what was also one of the hardest seasons of my life." She even had to take a break from filming because things were so serious. "Looking back and thinking about all of Season 2, to be honest, it's a bit of a blur just because I was barely surviving," she went on. "And I dealt with a lot of suicide ideation. It's really hard to talk about, but that was definitely one of the hardest times of life, and I felt like I couldn't turn to anyone." So it certainly can't have been an easy time for her. 

Mayci Neeley has been through a lot. When she was just 19, she became pregnant and moved back in with her parents. Her relationship with the father of her child, then-boyfriend Arik Mack, took a tragic turn. 

One day, Neeley and Mack were arguing via text while Mack was driving. Mack then got into an accident and died on impact. "I was utterly destroyed. I had no idea that he was driving — I never would have replied to him if I knew. Arik was my best friend and suddenly, he was gone. I couldn't get my head around the fact that I'd never hear his cheeky laugh again. My baby would never be held by their father. It was too much to bear," Neeley shared in an essay she wrote for the Mirror.

Mack's death sent Neeley into a serious depression. "I couldn't even shower alone. I needed space to grieve," she said, noting that it wasn't until her son was born that she began to feel like herself again. "I have grown so much empathy. I think I give everyone the benefit of the doubt, and you can see that in the show. When people see my backstory, they realize why I do some of the things I do on the show," she told Us Weekly.

Layla Taylor was pretty open about her first marriage on "The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives." The reality star not only reflected on getting divorced at a relatively young age, but was also pretty open about feeling underwhelmed by their sex life when they were married. However, as Taylor told Us Weekly, there's a lot more to the story of her divorce. 

Taylor and her ex-husband, Clayton Wessel, started dating when they were teenagers. After Taylor found out she was pregnant with the couple's first child, the two got married. "I felt like we owed it to our unborn baby to give our family a chance [but] just don't think we ever had a stable relationship built at all. And then adding kids on top of that, it just kind of kept getting more and more toxic and we fought more than we ever were happy with each other. It was just really bad," Taylor said of their relationship.

Taylor noted that Wessel threatened to divorce her multiple times before finally leaving, and she did not try to save the marriage. Evidently, they haven't exactly forged a friendship in the wake of their divorce. "Hopefully we can get to a more peaceful place. I think with him, there comes jealousy, and he found out about my boyfriend. So hopefully one day I'm praying that we can get to a point that we're a lot more cordial," Taylor said.

Layla Taylor had her own tragic, major revelation in Season 2 of "The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives." In a clip with fellow star Demi Engemann, Taylor spoke about her struggles with body dysmorphia and a history with eating disorders. "When people tell me that I look tiny and I'm starting to look sick, for some reason, in my twisted brain, that gives me an endorphin rush," she spoke vulnerably, per People. During the conversation, Taylor also showed Engemann her scars from self-harm.

During the reunion episode with host Nick Viall, Taylor expanded on the struggles she's faced. "I've dealt with really bad depression and anxiety my whole entire life," Taylor began. "I've attempted to take my life multiple times and thought that I'd be better off dead than living the life that I do," she admitted through tears. "I think it just stems from just feeling like I'm never enough. I was told that a lot growing up. I think that's why I self-harm too." During the reunion episode, Taylor explained that her two sons, Oliver and Maxwell, saw her scars, and this prompted her to get them removed. She also admitted that she hasn't self-harmed in a long time, because she wants to be strong for her children. 

"The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives" star Jessi Ngatikaura has also been through a tough divorce. Ngatikaura first got married when she was 22 to someone she first met in middle school. The two began dating after he returned from his mission, and they not only got married but moved away from Ngatikaura's family. After they tied the knot, she started a hair styling business, whereas he started smoking weed. All of those life changes caused a rift in their relationship, and the two grew apart.

What Ngatikaura struggled most with in her divorce was having to separate from her ex-husband's family. "It was hard because I loved his family. I loved him. I felt like they were my family, and that was my biggest internal struggle, being like, 'These people that I feel like are my parents and my grandparents and my extended family are just gonna be gone if I leave,'" Ngatikaura said on an episode of the "Weekly Trash" podcast. 

Jessi Ngatikaura went on to marry her current husband, Jordan Ngatikaura. While there have been rumors about the Mormon wife supposedly cheating on her first husband, she has denied those claims.

During Season 2 of "The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives," fans got a very clear impression that Jessi and Jordan Ngatikaura are having serious marital issues. The couple got married in 2020, long before they became famous thanks to the Hulu reality show, and share three children together. Jordan has daughter, Peyton, from a previous relationship, and he and Jessi are parents and step-parents to her, as well as their two children, a son named Jagger and a daughter named Jovi. 

They've faced some serious marital struggles over the years, though, and in Season 2, fans got a much clearer picture of what the two were going through. In fact, things seemed so bad between Jessi and Jordan that audiences began speculating that the two were headed for divorce. This was certainly exacerbated by the fact that, during the Season 2 finale, Marciano Brunette of "Vanderpump Villa" said that he and Jessi had been having an affair. While on "The Viall Files" podcast, Jessi didn't deny the affair, but she did push back against the idea that she and Jordan were settled on divorce. "Relationships are hard and they're nuanced," she said. But when asked if he was a good role model for their children, Jessi said, "No. There's been a lot that's happened and I think that he and I are both willing to work on things and change, but maybe he should be asked that question because that might wake him up." Yikes.

Demi Engemann is another cast member from "The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives" who went through divorce at a young age. The reality star had a child with her first husband, but in her second marriage, she's struggled with infertility. In 2023, Engemann shared an update on her efforts to become pregnant on Instagram, noting that she and her husband had been trying for a baby for about a year and a half at that point. "After dealing with infertility and quite a few alarming symptoms, I loosely got diagnosed with endometriosis," Engemann said, adding that she still had to have some tests done to confirm the diagnosis. "My biggest fear in all of this is that it takes an additional year or two, and then by the time I actually get pregnant, [my daughter] and the baby will be almost eight years apart," she shared.

The influencer went on to reflect on her first postpartum journey, noting that it wasn't easy. "I think I just fear going through all of that again," she said. She also shared that while she has some mixed feelings about the idea of having two kids who are so far apart in age, she is hopeful that she and her husband are at the right stage to welcome another child to their family. In 2024, she posted on TikTok that she was still experiencing infertility.

If you or someone you know is dealing with domestic abuse, you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−7233. You can also find more information, resources, and support at their website.

If you or anyone you know has been a victim of sexual assault, help is available. Visit the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network website or contact RAINN's National Helpline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673).

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If you are struggling with an eating disorder, or know someone who is, help is available. Visit the National Eating Disorders Association website or contact NEDA's Live Helpline at 1-800-931-2237. You can also receive 24/7 Crisis Support via text (send NEDA to 741-741).