Tragic Details About Kristi Noem's Life

We may receive a commission on purchases made from links.

The list of controversial things that the U.S. Secretary of Homeland Security, Kristi Noem, has done continues to grow. The divisive politician is known for her ability to shoot puppies and old goats without remorse, flexing her riches, having no clue what habeas corpus is (more on that later), and reportedly engaging in a very public affair. Noem's life has been riddled with tragedy, some of it arguably of her own making, and much of which shaped the woman she's become.

Krisi Noem and her husband, Bryon Noem, have been together for decades, but trouble might be brewing in their marriage. That is, if the disturbing rumors about Noem having an affair with her colleague Corey Lewandowski have any merit. The gossip first made the rounds in 2023 when sources divulged to the New York Post that Noem and Lewandowski had unabashedly put their affair on full display while attending the Conservative Political Action Conference in 2021. "I remember I saw it with my own eyes and a couple other people saw it and the blatantness was absurd," one insider alleged. 

Others concurred, adding that the two had displayed similar behavior during a 2020 Mar-a-Lago event too. In April 2025, the Trump staffer faced another onslaught of rumors that she was cheating on her husband when it came to light that she and Lewandowski lived across from each other in Washington D.C., which is unlikely to be coincidental. Eagle-eyed photographers for the Daily Mail spotted Lewandowski paying Noem regular visits. It's not clear if these were for work or pleasure, but sources indicated it was the latter. "Don't forget D.C. is a small town and people talk. It is an open secret that they are together," one pointed out. Another confirmed, "There's no question the relationship is ongoing."

Kristi Noem's father died in a tragic accident on their family farm

Kristi Noem's father died when she was just 22. At the time, the future politician was attending college but Noem immediately dropped out to help keep the family farm up and running. Her father, Ron Arnold, passed away after he tried to break up some clumped corn in a grain bin. He got sucked into the mass, and while Arnold was rescued before completely suffocating, he died shortly after being admitted to hospital. For Noem, her father's death was one of the biggest shocks of her life. 

"It turned our whole lives upside down. He was the guy who could do anything. I remember going to bed that night thinking, 'I have no idea what tomorrow looks like because he's not here,'" she said while speaking during a graduation ceremony at South Dakota University (via CBS News). In her book, "Not My First Rodeo," the former South Dakota governor detailed her childhood and, in particular, Noem's complex relationship with her father, who was quite hard on his children. "Growing up with a father like mine was challenging, exciting, exasperating, and inspiring," she penned.

Kristi Noem's grandmother died during the COVID-19 pandemic

As the COVID-19 pandemic raged, Kristi Noem was seemingly living in denial while simultaneously appearing to have appointed herself as a medical expert. She was serving as South Dakota's governor at the time, and the politician didn't believe that masks or social distancing were going to stop the spread of the deadly virus, despite actual medical experts advising that it was the best way to protect yourself from contracting it. As case numbers soared in several states, many Republicans who initially agreed with Noem's approach changed their tune, implementing mask mandates and social distancing. The governor's state was facing record-high infection rates, but she refused to yield, reasoning that citizens could decide on their own preventative measures, a decision that Noem told News Nation during a 2024 interview isn't one she regrets, going on to claim that her home state did better than all the others because of this.

Unfortunately, the nursing home where Noem's grandmother Aldys Arnold resided was ravaged by COVID-19. Arnold, who was 98, ultimately died in November 2020. Noem's office released a statement claiming the governor's grandmother did not have the virus when she died. Whether this was actually true is debatable. Her official cause of death was never communicated to the public, and the nursing home's administrator, Mike Ward, told the Daily Beast that Noem's grandmother was one of 13 residents who had passed within a 2-week period. Notably, the other 12 all died from COVID-related complications. Arnold being an outlier seems unlikely, but after strongly recommending against precautionary measures to prevent the spread of the virus, admitting publicly that her grandmother died of COVID would definitely not have been a good look for the governor.

Kristi Noem was brutally embarrassed during a Senate hearing

Kristi Noem has been subjected to some brutal nicknames, and now, "Legal Nitwit" can be added to the list. The second Trump administration's U.S. Secretary of Homeland Security was brutally embarrassed in front of lawmakers when she failed to correctly define habeas corpus when asked to do so during a Senate hearing. This came in light of the president's attempt to do away with the legal writ, which allows detainees to make a case for their innocence in court. If Donald Trump suspended this legal principle, it would make his job of imprisoning and deporting those he deems illegal immigrants much easier.

While discussing the divisive leader's plans to suspend the writ, Senator Maggie Hassan asked Noem to define habeas corpus. She responded, "[It's] a constitutional right that the president has to be able to remove people from this country." Hassan interrupted Noem, clarifying, "Excuse me, that's incorrect," (via ABC News), before explaining it to her. Things only got worse when Senator Elissa Slotkin expressed her exasperation at the homeland security secretary's ignorance, telling her that, should Trump manage to suspend habeas corpus, it would not only apply to illegal immigrants but also take away American citizens' right to due process if they face arrest. 

As Slotkin asserted, "What you're actually doing is going after folks for political reasons," (via X, formerly known as Twitter). The incident made headlines, and Noem was brutally roasted on social media. "Kristi Noem might want to spend more time learning about habeas corpus & less time doing plastic surgery," one X critic penned, alongside side-by-side shots of her physical transformation. "Kristi Noem just butchered the definition of Habeas Corpus [...] This is disqualifying. She should resign," another proclaimed.

Kristi Noem was accused of using a murder victim to further her political agenda

It seems that Kristi Noem will stop at nothing to make a point, and she was widely criticized for seemingly using a murder victim to further her own political agenda. The controversial politician found herself the subject of yet more negative headlines in May 2025 when she delivered a speech in front of the house of 24-year-old murder victim Emma Schafer. Noem alleged that the killer was an illegal immigrant (the suspect, Gabriel P. Calixto, has managed to evade arrest thus far). The former governor, of course, was doing this in an attempt to garner support for the Trump administration's divisive crackdown on border security, but Schafer's parents understandably felt the choice of location was in bad taste.

"To see her used by Secretary Noem and others to advance a cruel and heartless political agenda is not just deeply painful to us — it is an insult to her memory," they declared in a statement, per the Independent. "Noem's words are in direct conflict with who Emma was as a person. Emma built up community and stood with all members, including immigrants [...] As parents still grieving the loss of a child, we beg you to stop." This wasn't the first time she chose a controversial spot to deliver a speech either. In March 2025, the homeland security secretary irked human rights groups when she visited a maximum security prison in El Salvador and delivered a speech with prisoners pictured behind her. 

Some were actually individuals deported without due process after President Donald Trump invoked the Alien Enemies Act. Executive director of the Latin America Working Group, Vicki Grass, told The Guardian Noem's choice of location was "a typical gross and cruel display of political theater."

Kristi Noem was accused of pulling strings to further her daughter's career

Kristi Noem has long proven that she has a relentless streak and apparently, the Republican politician didn't hesitate to use it to her advantage when one of her daughters, Kassidy Peters, failed to acquire a real estate appraiser's license. Noem pulled some strings, and Peters magically managed to get her license after all. The thing is, the former South Dakota governor and her daughter were actually spotted meeting with the powers that be before her license was approved after initially being denied.

An investigation was subsequently launched as a result, with Noem insisting she had nothing to do with her daughter's application being reconsidered. "Kassidy followed the same process as other applicants did to obtain her license. She did not receive preferential treatment," the homeland security secretary said in a statement (via AP News). Only, the Republican-controlled Government Operations and Audit Committee found that strings had indeed been pulled. Still, Noem stuck to her guns, seemingly sharing her boss's belief that, if you repeat a lie enough times, people will believe it.

This was hardly the only scandal she faced during her tenure as the first female governor of South Dakota either. Reports suggest that she exploited taxpayer money to cover personal and political travel expenses, which an analysis by the Associated Press found amounted to a whopping $150,000. This sum did not cover any expenses related to Noem's duties as the governor of South Dakota. Instead, it covered trips to Mar-a-Lago, a dentist in Texas, a book tour, a bear-hunting trip to Canada, and various other leisurely and political activities.

Recommended