Kristi Noem Looks Like She Belongs In Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory In Old Pic
"Oompa Loompa doompa-dee doo, we've got a perfect puzzle for you:" What would the controversial U.S. Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem look like if she were as orange as President Donald Trump? Though thankfully we, sort of, know how Noem appears without makeup, she's also imaginably gone through more foundation palettes than Augustus Gloop ate through his chocolate bars with several cosmetic fails that made Kimberly Guilfoyle's glam look subtle. That said, knowing what she looks like when she's at her most colorful is a "world of pure imagination" most people should not dare enter.
In a throwback photo from November 30, 2011, Noem stood with her fellow U.S. representatives John Kline, Cathy McMorris Rodgers, and House Majority Leader Eric Cantor while House Speaker John Boehner spoke at the U.S. Capitol. The then-South Dakota congressperson was pictured channeling her inner-President Trump with a spray tan so orange that she could have been mistaken for one of Willy Wonka's employees, rather than a distinguished politician.
She won't stop wearing bad makeup
U.S. Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem may not have reached Oompa Loompa levels of orange with her horrid spray tan while part of President Donald Trump's administration. However, she's still had plenty of makeup flubs she's subjected the public to, though we'd rather fall into the chocolate river than see them time and time again.
Noem's face, which was more colorful than the rest of her skin, looked more like it had jaundice than makeup in a November 13, 2024 Instagram post from a CJ Schwan's food processing facility's groundbreaking ceremony in South Dakota. After wading through the endless pool of NewsNation, Fox News, and Truth Social screenshots found on her Instagram page, one might discover that she committed similar makeup atrocities when she displayed her dark, citrusy face to celebrate South Dakota high school grads in an April 24, 2023 photo.
Noem's drastic MAGA makeover may have everyone wondering if she got plastic surgery, but that hasn't stopped spectators from noticing she also allowed her makeup routine to be overcome by the Mar-a-Lago face that's plagued many other women in President Trump's circle. Though she apparently isn't opposed to achieving artificial colors to "enhance" her skin tone and match her political colleagues, at least her complexion has never been as blue as a blueberry.