Kristi Noem's Worst Fake Eyelash Fails Of All Time
Kristi Noem may be known for many dubious things, but a natural appearance is not one of them. The controversial secretary of Homeland Security has had makeup fails that make even Kimberly Guilfoyle's glam look subtle. While there are countless parts of her beauty routine we could blame for her jarring appearance, one thing often takes Noem's aesthetic from bad to worse: some seriously over-the-top eyelashes.
There are many aspects of Noem's style that made her a laughing stock on "South Park," but if she ditched her typically oversized falsies, there would be much less to parody. In fact, if Noem reflected on some of her worst fake eyelash fails of all time, she might see just how much better she'd appear if people could actually see her eyes under all that makeup. Unfortunately, she clings to those eyelashes tighter than they cling to her eyelids, and we don't anticipate Noem swapping her beloved lashes out for something subtler anytime soon. Nonetheless, we've put together a list of some of her most egregious eyelash moments in the hopes that she's inspired to step away from the lash glue and try a touch of mascara instead.
When her lashes looked like one giant mega-eyelash
Most mascara-wearers know that volume can be equally important as length when it comes to the appearance of your lashes; a close-up of Kristi Noem at an Oval Office meeting in November 2025 shows that she definitely agrees. The problem is that, just as she does with most parts of her beauty routine, she went way over the top with the volume of her lashes. Her lashes were so thick that they seemed to blur together and lose any individuality altogether, almost like she was wearing visors instead.
When her spiky lashes were cartoonish
At a press conference in October 2025, Kristi Noem managed to avoid a big, congealed mass of lashes, opting instead for weirdly spiky, long ones. Paired with her severe eyebrows, Noem's eyes were totally lost among the many dollars of product she wore. While her whole makeup routine was bad at this event, it's easy to imagine how simply ripping off those false lashes would have made a world of difference.
Her eyelashes that looked like they probably created a breeze whenever she blinked
False eyelashes are a great way to slightly alter your eye shape and bring focus to your eyes. Yet, based on Kristi Noem's false eyelashes of choice when she was photographed in the Oval Office in September 2025, it seems like she sometimes wants her eyelashes themselves to be the main focus of her face. These lashes were so dense that, by the end of the day, her eyelids were probably exhausted just from holding them up.
When her lashes were so long they almost touched her eyebrows
Kristi Noem's cakey foundation is one "Republican makeup" mistake she can never get right, and she had it on full display while on her plane in July 2025. Yet, while her thick, caked-on foundation definitely caught our attention, it wasn't enough to distract us from just how long those lashes are. Noem was rocking boxy, drawn-on eyebrows, and her lashes were long enough to almost touch them. Now, that's a look that's anything but natural.
The over-the-top lashes that made her harsh eye makeup look even worse
As she usually does, it's clear that Kristi Noem was wearing way-too-big eyelashes during a press conference in Costa Rica in June 2025. This time, though, the rest of her makeup really added to the whole cartoon villain vibe. Her over-the-top lashes were surrounded by harsh, unblended eyeshadow and some severe, too-dark brows. This surrounding makeup made her face appear even more unbalanced and made us wish we could lend her a makeup wipe.
The closeup that revealed just how unnatural her lashes really look
Time and time again, jarring pics of Kristi Noem have proven that her makeup should never be photographed up close. And, this shot of her at CPAC in 2025 is a prime example of this. All of Noem's makeup is way too heavy here, and a close-up view shows just how cakey her foundation actually appears. As usual, though, her massive falsies manage to draw the attention away from the rest of her overdone makeup look.
When she tried shorter lashes but it didn't help
While Kristi Noem's eyelashes are almost always a makeup fail, that doesn't mean they always look the same. In July 2025, she appeared on Fox News in falsies that were much shorter than what we're used to seeing. Somehow, though, this didn't make for better makeup than what Noem usually wears. While shorter, these lashes were still too dark and too dense, and while they may not have stolen the spotlight like some of her other eyelash moments, they managed to make her eyes appear smaller.