The Tragedy Of Jennette McCurdy Is Just Plain Sad

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The following article contains mentions of eating disorders, alcoholism, and child abuse.

For several decades, Hollywood was home to its various child stars. From names like Macaulay Culkin to the Olsen twins, their illustrious rise to fame from such a young age turned them into inspirational figures. However, the true nature of the entertainment industry usually turned these aspirational careers into cautionary tales. One prominent case is Jennette McCurdy, whose rise to fame came smack dab in the middle of her teenage years. Mostly known for her portrayal of Sam Puckett in Nickelodeon's "iCarly" and "Sam & Cat," McCurdy became a well-known face in children's programming throughout the late 2000s and early 2010s.

Her departure from Nickelodeon also led to her eventual exit from acting altogether, sending McCurdy on a journey of self-discovery. This came in the form of a memoir called "I'm Glad My Mom Died," which unveiled a series of tragic life events stemming from parental abuse, substance abuse, harassment from big-time Hollywood executives, and much more. It ultimately spelled out the untold truth of McCurdy's life story, which, on one hand, allowed her to become a New York Times bestseller. It also unveiled a story so heartbreaking that it just couldn't be ignored. Amongst other notable bombshells, here is the tragedy of the actor-turned-author, Jennette McCurdy.

Born on June 26, 1992, Jennette McCurdy was the youngest of four. Her mother, Debra McCurdy, remained a prominent figure in her life. With a history of abuse chronicled in "I'm Glad My Mom Died," Jennette's childhood was riddled with "heaviness" and "chaos" (via People). Debra was coping with an early breast cancer diagnosis in 1995 when Jennette was only 2. She ultimately overcame this diagnosis at the time, but not without embellishing in it in odd ways. In a 2022 interview with Amanpour and Company, Jennette noted that her mother frequently used her history with cancer as a tool for manipulation. "Of course, I sympathize with anybody who experiences cancer ... but the way that she manipulated her cancer was very obscure," Jennette recalled.

Debra's behavior became unpredictable, which, in turn, was reflected in their household. Through explaining the traumatic environment to Drew Barrymore on "The Drew Barrymore Show" in 2022, Jennette unveiled how blind she was to the chaos Debra brought into the family. "I had no idea that I was in a traumatic environment. ... My mom would be chasing my dad around the house with a kitchen knife, and I'd be like rooting her on, like, 'Go, Mom! You got this!' and it's like, that's messed up, but when I was 6, I didn't know that was messed up," she said.

Jennette McCurdy's trajectory into the acting industry was per her mother's wishes, as she became increasingly adamant for McCurdy to live out a dream she never got to achieve. Once McCurdy was 11, she began to develop a tragic relationship with food that followed her into her young adult life. In a 2021 interview with People, McCurdy shared that it was her mother who enforced some caloric-restrictive habits early on. "My mom said she could teach me calorie counting and we could be a team, but that I had to keep it secret," she told the publication. "I thought it was an opportunity for my mom and me to be closer."

The more she restricted herself of calories, the more her mother would praise her, which ultimately turned into a severe cycle of eating less and less. McCurdy developed full-fledged eating disorders that led to anorexia and bulimia, all during her days as a Nickelodeon star. "I was a mess for a long time," she recalled. "But I no longer think about food in an obsessive way. And I once didn't believe that was ever possible."

If you need help with an eating disorder, or know someone who does, help is available. Visit the National Eating Disorders Association website or contact NEDA's Live Helpline at 1-800-931-2237. You can also receive 24/7 Crisis Support via text (send NEDA to 741-741).

As part of Debra McCurdy's obsession with control, Jennette McCurdy was on the receiving end of psychological abuse that, at the time, she couldn't fully comprehend. The Nickelodeon star often had to sustain routine bodily checks for cancerous lumps. In her memoir, Jennette recalled being so uncomfortable that she instinctively became numb during these exams (via People). "By the time the exams are done, a huge wave of relief washes over my whole body," she wrote. "I usually realize that's the first time I've felt my body since the exam started."

Debra was also adamant about cleaning Jennette, from showering her to even wiping her butt. It got to a point where Jennette couldn't take personal bathroom trips without her mother. These habits carried on well into Jennette's teenage years alongside her brother Scottie, who, at 16, tried to convince Debra to let him take showers by himself. "Mom sobbed and said she didn't want him to grow up, so he never asked again after that," Jennette penned.

If you or someone you know may be the victim of child abuse, please contact the Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-4-A-Child (1-800-422-4453) or contact their live chat services.

Once Jennette McCurdy was 8, she was on the road to becoming a full-fledged actor. From "Mad TV" to "Malcolm in the Middle," Jennette guest-starred in various shows throughout the 2000s. Her career eventually culminated in her joining the cast of "iCarly" in 2007 as the rebellious Sam Puckett. Given how immensely successful the show became — having 6 seasons and nearly 100 episodes — one would assume she'd be excited for this opportunity early on.

This wasn't the case, however, as Jennette wasn't fully passionate about acting. While on the "Red Table Talk" in 2022, Jennette shared that she was primarily the "vessel" for her mother's acting dreams. Debra McCurdy's obsession for Jennette to be an acting star overrode the pre-teen's wants, even when Jennette wished to quit. So once Jennette snagged a recurring role on a Nickelodeon series — which was the first of her career — she was wracked with confusing emotions. In her memoir, she suggested that her initial excitement for getting the role wasn't because she achieved this magnificent milestone for herself, but for her mother. "Mom will finally be happy," she wrote (via Entertainment Weekly). "Her dream has come true."

Jennette McCurdy grew up with three older brothers: Dustin, Marcus, and Scott McCurdy. Together, they experienced the brunt of their mother's obsessive behaviors. Though it eventually brought them closer together as a unit, it initially divided them. While Jennette was seen as the star child, her eldest brother, Marcus, also faced significant pressure to succeed. The same couldn't be said for Dustin and Scott, who were able to lead relatively normal lives. 

Seeing as they were all within a traumatic household, resentment silently brewed for Jennette as she saw that her siblings got to be normal kids while she had to pursue an acting career. While opening up about this on the "Call Her Daddy" podcast in January 2026, she also hinted that it was the other way around for Dustin and Scott, who, in the midst of their gaming habits, witnessed Debra's selective favoritism toward Jennette rather than toward them. "You know, as a kid and a teenager, it was hard to see, 'Well, why are the standards so different for them?'" she recalled. "And I'm sure they felt it toward me, because it's like, 'Why is Mom giving Jennette so much attention? Why is she doing all this for her?' I'm sure some of their video game playing was some kind of act of rebellion."

While acting at a young age meant that Jennette McCurdy would carry on her mother's acting dreams, it diminished her overall sense of identity in the worst ways. Aside from not being sure whether acting was truly her passion, McCurdy also had to face a great deal of shame as her career often clashed with her religious background. During her 2022 interview on "The Financial Diet" podcast, McCurdy noted that she and her family grew up Mormon. She foresaw a future where they became first-rate Mormons who dedicated their lives to full-blown Mormonism. That, however, wasn't the case, as acting oftentimes forced her into positions that went against her religion. 

One instance came during her stint on "iCarly," where executives told her that, for a scene, she had to get fitted for a two-piece bathing suit. She wasn't thrilled to do so as she thought it was a "sin." Unfortunately, she was coerced into going through with the bikini fitting and photoshoot by not only Nickelodeon executives, but by her mother as well. "I sort of had a little moment," she recalled. "I kind of cried in my dressing room, and my mom, whose rules became more and more lenient. ... She told me, 'You're going to put on a bikini, and you're going to do the photo.' So, I wore the bikini and did the photo."

For most child actors, working for Nickelodeon appeared to be the dream job. Unfortunately, horror stories of sexual misconduct, harassment, and abuse began to come out as years went by. Most of them were aimed toward Dan Schneider, who created several of Nickelodeon's massive shows, such as "Drake & Josh" and "Zoey 101." Jennette McCurdy had the displeasure of working with Schneider, whom she seemingly alleged to have played a big role in her abuse on the set of "iCarly" — another show Schneider created.

In her memoir, McCurdy frequently referenced a domineering on-set presence whom she called "The Creator." While she never identified who it was — other than that the figure was male — many of her claims aligned with Schneider's alleged behavior that led to his eventual fallout with Nickelodeon in 2018. According to McCurdy, "The Creator" was verbally abusive to those around him. "The Creator can tear you down and humiliate you," McCurdy penned (via Today). "I've seen him do this when he fired a six-year-old on the spot for messing up a few lines on a rehearsal day." She also faced coercion from this person once her own spinoff show was in the works. To persuade an 18-year-old McCurdy, he pressured her into drinking alcohol and gave her an unwanted shoulder massage (via E! News). "I want to say something, to tell him to stop, but I'm so scared of offending him," she wrote.

In 2012, Nickelodeon greenlit "Sam & Cat," pairing Jennette McCurdy, who was Sam Puckett on "iCarly," with Ariana Grande, who portrayed Cat Valentine in another Nickelodeon hit sitcom, "Victorious." The pairing worked on-screen, but behind the scenes, the two weren't necessarily the best of friends. This wasn't to say that McCurdy and Grande hated each other, but the environment that worked for Grande wasn't the same environment in which McCurdy could thrive. 

Throughout their time on the show, Grande was transitioning into pop stardom, which granted her the free time to pursue other opportunities. In "I'm Glad My Mom Died," McCurdy suggested that she then had to pick up the pieces whenever Grande wasn't there. This caused McCurdy to harbor some resentful thoughts toward Grande, as McCurdy believed there was a level of favoritism being displayed since she couldn't fulfill her own personal goals while on "Sam & Cat" (via Entertainment Tonight). It hit a boiling point for McCurdy when Grande came on set one day and beamed about playing charades at Tom Hanks' house, fueling McCurdy's jealousy even more. "That was the moment I broke," she wrote. "I didn't like her. I couldn't like her."

In 2010, Debra McCurdy's cancer came back, which Jennette McCurdy championed through a 2011 article for The Wall Street Journal, titled "Off Camera, My Mom's Fight with Cancer." Nonetheless, this meant that Debra would undergo treatment to fight the disease again, all while Jennette upheld her obligations as an actor. With her condition getting more severe from 2011 to 2013, this undoubtedly left Jennette and her family coping with the possibility of losing Debra. 

Through this, Jennette turned to alcohol. According to her memoir, this started when Jennette felt the need to take a well-deserved break from her familial hardships in 2013 (via Buzzfeed). While on a road trip with her friends, Jennette indulged in alcohol for the first time and quickly became dependent on it. So much so that she'd eventually start taking eight to 10 shots of alcohol on a daily basis. In the midst of a hangover, she recalled receiving news of Debra's impending demise. Once Debra passed, Jennette's complex emotions only intensified her dangerous coping mechanisms, which coincided with her bulimia. It wouldn't be until she found Laura — a therapist and life coach — that Jennette would start to take active steps in addressing both issues.

If you or anyone you know needs help with addiction issues, help is available. Visit the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website or contact SAMHSA's National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357).

For Jennette McCurdy, coping with the death of her mother came with a series of eye-opening revelations that more or less helped her confront her childhood trauma. With as big a role as Debra McCurdy played in Jennette's life, her mother's passing ultimately meant the absence of any further abuse and psychological turmoil. Although the damage was already done, it didn't end there as Jennette learned about a major family secret that changed her life.

During her 2022 appearance on "The Drew Barrymore Show," Jennette shared that Mark McCurdy — the man who raised her — informed her about her biological father. "I remember feeling like I got the wind knocked out of me," she recalled. Jennette later discovered that her biological father was a musician named Andrew, with whom Debra had an affair. Jennette and Andrew eventually connected after years of not knowing each other, though they ended up drifting apart. As for Mark, she ultimately came to understand his position, as she noted to Barrymore that Mark was generally "disengaged and disconnected" throughout her childhood. Despite this, however, his notion of reiterating that it wasn't her fault she was born left a bad taste in Jennette's mouth and ultimately ended their relationship afterward. "I thought like, 'This is the weirdest thing to say to somebody after you've just told them that you're not their biological father,'" she stated.  

The title of Jennette McCurdy's memoir, "I'm Glad My Mom Died," could have caused you to believe that she has always felt resentment toward her mom. However, McCurdy sifted through a wide range of emotions before she could properly perceive what she felt about Debra McCurdy. Therapy certainly helped, but for Jennette, it was something she couldn't fully give in to, as it caused her to reframe the reality she once knew. 

Jennette — despite the abuse — saw her mother in a positive light. During the 2022 "Taking Control with Jennette McCurdy" event at Virginia Commonwealth University (VCU), Jennette talked to students about her initial journey through therapy in her late teens and early 20s. When a therapist challenged her beliefs about her mother's abusive behavior, she ditched therapy altogether as she wasn't ready to confront these issues. It wasn't until after her mother passed that she went back and fully began to heal her internal scars. "As intimidating and overwhelming as it was to accept that my mom had been abusive, I knew that I needed to accept that reality because the castle had fallen at that point," she explained. "The castle of sort of pretend narratives that I clung to my whole life, that I needed my whole life ... I couldn't pretend any longer."

Given the success of "I'm Glad My Mom Died," it wouldn't take long for Jennette McCurdy to go on another illustrative journey. This time, it would be in the form of a novel titled "Half His Age," which tells the story of a teenage girl who falls for her high school creative writing teacher. Though this isn't a personal memoir like her last release, McCurdy did pull from a real age-gap relationship she had when she was 18.

As with most relationships with a significant age gap, there was a clear power disparity between McCurdy and her 30-something beau. During her "Call Her Daddy" appearance, McCurdy noted that the two met through work and kept their growing relationship relatively hidden. At first, the freedom in exploring the "mature" relationship was enough to allow her to dismiss any red flags, such as his apparent drinking problem and the fact that he was in another relationship. They quickly became impermissible once the 30-something-year-old began to disregard McCurdy's wishes to remain a virgin until marriage. While meeting at a hotel together, Jennette recalled her mystery beau trying to convince her to have sex. "There were phrases like, 'I have to know that my needs are going to be met.' ... It was very, 'I'm respectful of your boundary that you can't have sex before marriage, but I also have needs of my own,'" she stated.