The Biggest Red Flags In Selena Gomez & Benny Blanco's Relationship

Although it was shrouded in secrecy for quite a while, what we do know about Selena Gomez and Benny Blanco's romance is that they're undeniably adorable. It's clear the singer and songwriter are completely head over heels for each other, and they've shared a number of sweet moments since they took their relationship public in late 2023. From their cute Instagram posts to "I Said I Love You First," the romantic album they collaborated on, there's no question about Gomez and Blanco's love for one another — even if it took a little time for their fans to get totally on board with the musical couple's romantic involvement.

However, as well-suited as Gomez and Blanco might seem today, there are also quite a few strange things about their relationship we simply can't ignore. While no couple is perfect, some aspects of their lives have us wondering what else could possibly be going on behind the scenes — or whether they're truly as happy as they seem. From the music producer's insecurities about the relationship to his prior history with the "Love You to Love Me" singer, his long-standing friendship with Justin Bieber, and the harsh criticism some of their followers have voiced, here are the biggest red flags in Selena Gomez and Benny Blanco's relationship.

Given that Benny Blanco has been the mastermind behind countless pop songs over the years, it's no surprise he's worked with some of Selena Gomez's famous exes, like The Weeknd and Justin Bieber. The music producer and songwriter practically built the soundtrack of the late aughts and early 2010s with hits like "Tik Tok" by Kesha, "Diamonds" by Rihanna, and Ed Sheeran's "Don't," so it seems like an obvious career move to work with the "Baby" singer.

Bieber and Blanco first worked together back in 2010 on hits "Eenie Meenie" and "Somebody to Love." They collaborated again on "Love Yourself" in 2015, "Cold Water" in 2016, and finally, "Lonely" in 2020. It was clear the two had a close relationship, and the producer sang Bieber's praises a number of times, but things seemed to shift after Blanco began dating Gomez.

According to a source who spoke with In Touch Weekly in August 2024, "Justin is pretty offended by the fact that Benny totally cut him out of his life when he got together with Selena." Because they had once been close, Bieber was reportedly hurt by Blanco's sudden distance and even tried to reconcile with the producer, but to no avail. In February 2025, the "Sorry" singer unfollowed Blanco on Instagram, which seemed to be the final nail in the coffin.

Long before Selena Gomez and Benny Blanco were an item, they collaborated on a few of her songs. He was the producer behind her 2015 hits "Same Old Love" and "Kill 'Em With Kindness," and their paths crossed a couple more times afterward. However, it seems clear that Blanco didn't think too highly of Gomez back in the day, given he once shaded her while simultaneously praising Justin Bieber.

While speaking on the "Zach Sang Show" podcast in October 2020, the songwriter remarked, "Justin's not one of those cookie-cutter pop artists. Like you know, they're like, 'This is my new single and here's my makeup line.'" Blanco added that Bieber is "more upfront" about things than other stars. Just prior to these comments, Gomez had released Rare Beauty, her makeup line, so when they became a couple, fans were quick to speculate that he'd been referring to his soon-to-be wife at the time. They came to the "Wolves" singer's defense, insisting Gomez is just as upfront because she's been vocal about her struggles with mental health.

She seemed to confirm the rumors when an Instagram user wrote, "You're just corny omg that man was shading you years ago." Gomez retorted, "Lol yeah and he's still better than anyone I've ever been with. Facts." That a partner who once insulted her is still better than any of her exes might seem like a sad admission to some.

Some couples have straight-from-a-movie meet cute stories while others will always be retelling the moment they swiped right on one another. But Selena Gomez and Benny Blanco's journey to becoming a couple is unfortunately a little less sweet because the music producer genuinely believed his wife-to-be couldn't stand him at first.

During an appearance on the "Jay Shetty Podcast" in March 2025, Blanco remarked, "I thought she hated me. I really did." Gomez laughed next to him because it wasn't true. But he didn't know what to make of their friendship in the early days, adding that she wouldn't say much to him, and even some of his friends noticed that there seemed to be tension. "Obviously, 99% of it was in my head," Blanco continued. Romance wasn't on his radar in the slightest, and to smooth things over with Gomez, he tried to set her up with one of his friends.

"I was talking to her and said, 'Oh my God, I have so many good single guy friends ... We have dinners at the house all the time, you should come over sometime,'" he said. Fortunately, after exchanging numbers and messaging for a while, Gomez developed feelings for Blanco. "I feel like it all happens for a reason," he said. "I feel like maybe me doing that is what disarmed her enough."

When cameras are constantly in your face and your entire life is on display for strangers to comment on, you can't blame Benny Blanco and Selena Gomez for wanting to keep their relationship private at first. Although they first got together sometime in mid-2023, the musical duo kept it secret from the public for six months.

During their Spotify promo video for their album, "Countdown to I Said I Love You First" in March 2025, Gomez brought up the fact that they went to a party Taylor Swift threw and were the first ones to arrive. "I don't know, it was kind of cute but I was mortified," she said. "Apparently cool people don't show up to parties on time." Blanco responded, "No, I thought you were gonna talk about the fact that no one knew we were dating and we were hiding." Of course, it was conspicuous to arrive together like that, but the couple went to great lengths to throw people off their scent.

About a month after she and Blanco started dating, Gomez posted a TikTok video about being single. Then, in November 2023, a source told Entertainment Tonight that she was "casually dating" and not in a relationship. Call us old-fashioned, but when you love someone, there's definitely a part of you that wants to shout it from the rooftops — or at least attend a party together without making it weird.

Although only what Selena Gomez's friends think about Benny Blanco should really matter, tuning out the noise of her millions of fans is probably difficult. She's made it clear that she's happy in her relationship, but some simply can't get over the fact that they're together. Whether it's his supposed diss of her back in 2020 or his looks, many of the "Only Murders in the Building" star's followers have come up with a million reasons why they think she could do better. This has left Gomez defending Blanco and their relationship on social media, telling trolls on Instagram, "If you can't accept me at my happiest then don't be in [my] life at all" (via BuzzFeed).

Understandably, all the hate has taken its toll. "I know what people can do to people I love," Gomez explained during her May 2024 discussion with Time. "My own fans, who I adore and feel like have shaped who I am, will say the most hurtful things to me about how I live my life." Fortunately, she added, Blanco hasn't been deterred by all the noise. "He has the strength in him that none of that noise fazes him," Gomez remarked. Ultimately, having to decide between her fans and the man she loves isn't a choice she should have to make — but it's clear which the "Love On" singer would choose.

There are no rules for whether you should date someone for a certain amount of time before getting married because every couple is different. Some couples get married young and spend their lives together whereas others date for ages but divorce quickly. That said, Selena Gomez and Benny Blanco do seem to have moved relatively quickly, as they began sparking engagement rumors as early as August 2024, just over a year after they began dating. They finally announced their engagement four months later on Instagram with a post that drew over 23 million likes and congratulatory comments from stars like Jennifer Aniston, Gordon Ramsay, and Taylor Swift.

This moment seemed to be something Blanco had been waiting for from the get-go. During the couple's "Countdown to I Said I Love You First" video, Gomez and the music producer reminisced about the times they actually knew they had fallen for one another. "I knew right after we kissed, I was like, 'Oh wow. I'm probably going to marry this person,'" Blanco said. But, he amended his statement to something perhaps slightly less romantic, adding, "Well, I didn't say marry, but I was like, 'I'm probably going to have a baby with this person.'" It's pretty early to be so sure of your future with a person, but maybe it was love at first sight — er, kiss.

Selena Gomez and Benny Blanco were the newly engaged It couple of early 2025, with their new album release, dozens of interviews, and latest Instagram snaps. The publicity wasn't anything new to the "Bad Liar" singer, and although Blanco had been in the spotlight before, his level of fame was arguably lower than hers. So, it's understandable why the songwriter might feel some level of insecurity in their relationship, but you would hope it would be a temporary feeling.

However, when the duo spoke with Interview Magazine in February 2025, Blanco revealed the true extent of his self-doubt. After their interviewer mentioned she'd been single for some time, the music producer spoke on how lucky he feels being with Gomez, saying, "Holding her isn't close enough. I want to be inside of her whole body. ... I'm so sappy." Blanco mentioned how he smiles all the time with her and feels like he just wants to "make her life better," before noting, "I'm so scared she's just going to wake up and be like, 'What? No.'" But given the lengths Gomez has gone to defend Blanco and their relationship, there's little to no evidence she's close to changing her mind about him. "You're stuck with me," she retorted.

Some might find it hard to deny that Benny Blanco is an eccentric character, and by extension, Selena Gomez has shown a pretty goofy side to herself. That said, their acts of love for one another aren't exactly everybody's cup of tea, which the songwriter proved during an Instagram video he posted on Valentine's Day in 2025, alongside the caption, "when your fiancé isn't much of a flowers girl."

The video opens on a trail of tortilla chips leading to many more tortilla chips assembled to spell out "I" [heart] "YOU" in the bathroom. Blanco pans over to the couple's bathtub, which is filled to the brim with nacho cheese. He takes a tortilla chip out of a bowl, dunks it into the cheese, and then takes a big bite. Some Instagram users left supportive comments, including Katy Perry who wrote, "Feels like a match." However, Blanco seemed to touch a nerve because just as many people left disapproving comments.

"So happy for Selena for finding true love but that's gross," one person wrote. Several commenters mentioned that it was a huge waste of food, while others noted how bad they felt for the person who would have to clean that up. "I don't care how clean you claim this to be it's beyond disgusting," another user wrote. But what you might not have known about Gomez is that she's all about a cheesy gesture, and she commented, "I love everything about this."

Selena Gomez has had a number of controversial moments over the years, but her fans may never completely forgive her for the promotional photoshoot she and Benny Blanco did for the cover of Interview Magazine. In February 2025, shortly after the music producer's Valentine's Day gesture, the publication's Instagram feed featured March's cover image, and countless people were disturbed. Blanco's smiling face was centered, but what caught everyone's attention was Gomez's red-painted toes resting on his cheeks.

"Can we stop with the feet??!" one user commented. "If I see this picture one more time I'm throwing my phone in the fire," another added (via Parade). Although the horrified comments were mixed in with positive ones, wishing the couple well, the general consensus was that the image was too much. Another Instagram user insisted the image required a "trigger warning," referring to it as a "jump scare."

Perhaps that's exactly what they were going for because the photos took the internet by storm and got more people talking about their album. If you can look past the feet, Blanco and Gomez's joint interview with Interview Magazine was quite sweet. The producer noted that "I Said I Love You First" got him out of a rut. "I was so stuck before this. I didn't know what I was going to do next and this was such a cathartic experience and a way to get back into it," he said.

Selena Gomez and Benny Blanco's album "I Said I Love You First" is filled with catchy melodies and romantic lyrics, and the reception has been generally positive. But because nobody can stop themselves from speculating, internet sleuths are wondering whether their song "How Does It Feel to Be Forgotten" was a slight against Gomez's ex-boyfriend Justin Bieber.

The track is about the singer running into someone she used to know, so it could realistically be about any number of her other exes. However, one line in particular has fans pointing to the fact that Bieber reportedly tried to reconcile with Blanco back in 2024: "Cause you walked in, big-ass grin / Talking like we're friends, honey what were you thinking? / He loves me, I love him / Look at you, just look at you now." Given their complex history and the reported feud between Gomez and Bieber's wife Hailey, it wouldn't be surprising if she and Blanco were throwing stones.

This rumor about Bieber as the subject of the couple's song seemed to take on further credibility in April 2025 when the "Stuck With U" singer posted memes on his Instagram story. Fans believed they were intended as jabs at Gomez, particularly an image of Gollum from "The Lord of the Rings" looking at the One Ring with a caption that read: "Girls on social media when they get engaged."