Kristi Noem's Obnoxious Lashes Can't Draw Our Eyes From Her Sloppy Bedhead Updos

When you look at old pictures of Kristi Noem, she looks so different (and frankly better without the MAGA makeup). But Noem, Homeland Security secretary, seems to have gone all in on her new look, making her one of the women in Donald Trump's circle who look like Melania Trump. That often includes wearing long hair extensions.

Noem's overly heavy hair extensions aren't always looking that great, and so you'd think that it would be a relief when she appears to skip them and just pull her hair back. But even then, her pulled-back hairstyles often end up looking like she's just rolled out of bed, and adding on heavy fake eyelashes isn't enough to distract us from her hair. There are many moments where it seems like Noem didn't wake up in time to get her hair extensions in place but early enough to go for a heavy glam makeup look, including some spidery eyelashes.

When Noem went on "Fox And Friends" on May 3, 2025, she was wearing a pink tweed jacket with shoulder pads (a bit like something that press secretary Karoline Leavitt might wear, as she often dresses older than she is). And Noem had her hair back with curled sections around her face, a bit like she's getting ready to go to prom in the early 2000s. Of her appearance on the show, one person on X said, "Fire your hairstylist and your fashion consultant. You have more potential; they are holding you back." Another posted: "How many pounds of makeup does the Trump Admin go through a week?"

Kristi Noem wore her hair in a similarly unflattering style when she visited Puerto Rico in March 2025 to meet with Governor Jenniffer González-Colón. It's almost reasonable in that context; we could see someone wanting to pull their hair up after a long flight and when arriving in Puerto Rico (it can get warm) as compared to appearing on TV. But then she had her hair down in its full extension glory during a visit to El Salvador, so we can't follow the logic.

Then there was the time that Noem was promoting her book "No Going Back" in March 2024. She had the full face of makeup on and yet seemed to have entirely neglected her hair, simply mounding it up on the top of her head with some unexpected errant blonde pieces in it. She was also wearing a sweatshirt, so if it wasn't for the heavy makeup and fake eyelashes firmly in place, we would have guessed that she had woken up just moments before. It was from a video on Noem's own social media page, so either she really doesn't care how she looks or she thinks she looks better than she does.

Wouldn't it be amazing if more of our leaders loved America?

Read (or listen to) my thoughts in my new book, No Going Back, out May 7th. https://t.co/gmYMj2oenR pic.twitter.com/bcV9L8toWn

— Kristi Noem (@KristiNoem) March 19, 2024

"Why is there a Pomeranian on your head?" one person said on X. Another seemed to think that her look was an attempt to look younger: "If you weren't trying to look like you were sixteen I might be able to take your advice seriously" (via X). Noem doesn't seem to be someone who cares much about what her critics think about her, but in this case, we're hoping she skips this look in the future.