The Worst Dressed MAGA Groupies At Trump's Military Parade

Unfortunately, it rained on Donald Trump's big league (bigly?) military birthday parade (that totally wasn't in celebration of Donald's birthday, according to Donald). Still, that didn't wipe the smile off of 47's face as he and his band of MAGA groupies, clad in their on-fleek/fashion fail best, watched the 128 tanks roll, 6,000 soldiers march, and assorted robotic dogs trot down Constitution Avenue in Washington, D.C. on Saturday, June 14.

Republican women's fashion sense is often criticsized for being outdated, with zero flair. That was definitely the case at Donald's military birthday parade. Frumpy and dumpy appeared to be the dress code for the evening as the fenced-in VIPs melted into a sea of beige and blue with the occasional flash of red here and there.

Women often undergo an aesthetic transformation after entering Donald's inner sanctum, for better or worse (usually the latter). For instance,Karoline Leavitt's MAGA makeover totally ruined her sense of style. But sadly, she wasn't there to pay her respects to Donald in person — she was busy washing her hair, probably — depriving us all of the opportunity to appreciate her latest pink flub. Kimberly Guilfoyle's scanty mini-dresses were sorely missed, too, as #Donberly's broken-up better half was also MIA. However, from Melania Trump's Forever 21 vibes, to Tiffany Trump's puffy-sleeved, frumpy fail, to Usha Vance's soccer mom special, there were still plenty of worst-dressed MAGA groupies for the public to feast their eyes upon.

Love her or loathe her, Melania Trump rarely makes a fashion slip-up. Despite never scoring a Vogue cover (much to the MAGA crowd's chagrin), Melania is usually impeccably turned out in an array of designer duds that flatter her killer figure and ensure she puts Donald Trump firmly in the corner.

So, the suit she wore to the parade was a surprise, to say the least. The poorly fitted pinstripe, mid-length skirt suit looked like she'd grabbed it off the Forever 21 clearance rack during the store's going out of business sale. Oh, and the less said about the blue-gray stilettos, the better.

Usha Vance didn't fare much better than Melania Trump during the military parade. Although her lacy top actually appeared to fit her correctly, it gave off definite soccer mom popped down to the Main Street shops vibes. However, despite its $79 price tag, the high-neck, short-sleeved top wasn't a mass-market bargain bucket retailer special. It was actually by NVLT, a Montreal-based designer brand that prides itself on creating "urban, unique, and expressive" clothing.

Meanwhile, we can't speak for the origins of Vance's MAGA red pants, but they likely matched the embarrassed hue of Donald Trump's true complexion.

Susie Wiles doesn't really give off the air of psychedelic, rock 'n' roll, hippie chick. However, she made an exception for Donald Trump's military birthday parade.

The first-ever female White House chief of staff paid homage to the late, great Beatles singer-songwriter John Lennon with a pair of his trademark round, mirrored sunglasses. Thankfully, Yoko Ono was nowhere in sight and didn't take to the stage to sing the national anthem. Still, the unusual choice of eyewear gave Wiles a shady vibe, which was likely not the look she had intended. Although, perhaps, given the highly questionable Florida business deals she was allegedly involved in back in the day, it was totally warranted.

Tiffany Trump landed herself a spot on the worst-dressed MAGA groupies list courtesy of the stretch-wool, fit-and-flare, puffy, statement-sleeved, mid-length black dress she wore. Shockingly, it was actually an Oscar de la Renta creation that set Donald Trump's youngest daughter back a whopping $2,690. Still, extortionate price tag aside, the frock took frumpy to a whole new level.

Poor Tiffany's appearance wasn't helped by the fact that she also looked absolutely exhausted. But hey, she just gave birth to her son Alexander on May 15, so you can hardly expect any less after a month of sleepless nights.

Since breaking off his engagement in 2024, Donald Trump Jr. has robbed us of Kimberly Guilfoyle's seemingly endless collection of skin-tight, breast-baring, thigh-flashing, and totally inappropriate outfits. Junior's new squeeze, Palm Beach socialite and model Bettina Anderson doesn't have even an ounce of her predecessor's fashion flare, as proven by the ensemble she chose for Donald Trump's big night. Clearly, what's the USA's loss will definitely be Greece's gain.

Anderson's white Lafayette 148 New York hand-beaded Georgette pleated Elizabeth Anthony blouse and matching skirt set her back $2,154. Still, that didn't stop Anderson from looking like she'd rushed straight from the office without time to change. 

Pete Hegseth has battled accusations of being unfit for the role of Secretary of Defense since Donald Trump named him as his nominee. Detractors claim he lacks the necessary experience to protect the country, potentially putting the USA in danger. So, it's little surprise that Hegseth likes to remind everybody at every opportunity that he's a former Army National Guard.

Still, the camouflage tie he chose to wear as a nod to his armed forces background when he took to the stage at Trump's military birthday parade just screamed: "Trying too hard!!!" and did nothing to detract from the glaring absence of any service ribbons or medals on his navy blue suit.

Donald Trump loves to wax lyrical about the better days of yesteryear, with his trademark vow to "Make America Great Again!" So, perhaps it was little surprise that he was bringing the '80s back with some shoulder pads worthy of "Dynasty" scheming bad girl Alexis Carrington Colby.

Trump's suits have never been the most stylish, or stylish at all, to be honest. Despite him favoring bespoke Brioni, they always look ill-fitted, baggy, and boxy. Still, his latest creation took baggy and boxy to a whole new level. Given Trump's notorious obsession with strength and physique, it's likely that he wanted a jacket designed to add bulk and stature as he flexed his military muscles. Well, we can't think of any other explanation, anyway.