Tragic Details About Handmaid's Tale Actor Madeline Brewer Revealed

The following article mentions mental health struggles and addiction.

Madeline Brewer has a gift for playing troubled female characters. From an inmate to a handmaid to a slightly unhinged vigilante, the actor doesn't shy away from the uncomfortable on screen. Off-screen, there have been tragic details about "The Handmaid's Tale" star revealed that could explain how she has so skillfully and deftly managed the dark, heavy subject matter common among many of the women she's played. 

A self-professed "daddy's girl," Madeline grew up in Pitman, New Jersey. Reflecting on her hometown in Nylon, she said, "It's a very traditional town but I absolutely love it." Her father, Mark Brewer, enjoyed some success as a singer/songwriter, and the future "You" star was determined to follow in his footsteps and break into the entertainment industry. She took a role in a local production of "A Christmas Carol" around the age of 7 and knew without a doubt that she had found her calling. "I've been a full-blown theater nerd my entire life," she told Untitled Magazine. "Theater was to me what sports are to some other people," she added. 

Madeline's path may have been clear, that didn't mean it was smooth. And while some of her biggest breaks came early, they didn't always come easy. Both personally and professionally the Emmy-nominated actor hit some road blocks that could have easily derailed her train to success. Fortunately, like the beloved handmaid she played, Madeline persevered. Ultimately, she used some of her personal challenges to turn what might have been ordinary roles in someone else's hands, into extraordinarily relatable characters.

The world of theater tends to draw people who may not feel like they fit in with conventional society. It's a therapeutic place for creative expression, and a way for many actors, like Madeline Brewer, to deal with their insecurities by pretending to be someone else. On a 2025 episode of "Podcrushed," the "Orange is the New Black" cast member described her middle school years to podcast host (and "You" costar) Penn Badgley as being "horrifically cringey," and said she never felt like she was good at anything other than acting. "I never really had any confidence, I guess," she confessed. That would explain why Brewer threw herself into her craft. While other preteens might spend the summer by the pool or hanging out at the mall with friends, Brewer performed in community theatre. She took voice lessons, and participated in choir.  Soon, performing became her whole personality. "I have been an anxious, kind of like embarrassed person my whole life," she said.  "I do not know why I chose to follow the path of someone who is visible in any way."

Looking back, Brewer said she has a lot of sympathy for her timid, insecure 12-year-old self. "Um, she's very scared of everything," she described. "Scared of life, uh, scared of who she would be and what she would do." She said if she could go back and give her younger self some advice, she would tell her to embrace who she is. She added, "Being 12 is really hard." 

School wasn't necessarily Madeline Brewer's thing. On "Podcrushed," she admitted that she was not a particularly driven student and even failed math in junior high school. From a young age, she knew that her passion was theatre, so she wasn't too upset about the failing grade. However, she did have a teacher who didn't appreciate the aspiring actor's laissez faire attitude towards her studies and, according to Brewer, her disapproval was apparent. "She really liked students who were really engaged and cared a lot about what was being taught," she shared with podcast hosts Penn Badgley, Nava Kavelin, and Sophie Ansari. She added that she was a student who learned differently, which may have compounded the problem. "I just didn't really get it," said the self-described "visual learner." "I don't know. I just couldn't wrap my brain around a lot of things."  Brewer went on to share that the teacher's treatment left her feeling discouraged.

Over the years, Brewer learned to make accommodations for the way she learned, but the scars from those early years remained. As an adult, the "Hustlers" actor went back to school and recalled breaking down in tears when she received her first syllabus. It reminded her of a moment from high school when a teacher openly ridiculed her for not grasping the material. Brewer told the hosts, "She made me feel so inept."

Art often imitates life, and in the case of Madeline Brewer, there was one striking parallel between her "Handmaid's Tale" character Janine's backstory and Brewer's personal life. Brewer, like her beloved character, made the decision to terminate a pregnancy. The actor first shared that revelation in an Instagram post, adding her voice to the millions who were outraged over the overturning of Roe v Wade by the Supreme Court. Brewer admitted that although she didn't regret her decision, she struggled with her feelings in the aftermath. "I hated myself and my body and punished myself for years," she wrote. 

Brewer was just 20 at the time of her abortion. Like many aspiring actors, she was juggling multiple day jobs while auditioning for roles and trying to land her big break. Becoming a mother was not part of that plan. "I knew with absolute certainty that I wasn't ready to bring a child into the world — I was at the beginning of my career and becoming a parent wasn't what I wanted," Brewer shared in an interview with Self. "But, more importantly, it was because I was not okay. I knew it subconsciously then and I know it very clearly now. I was deeply unwell, unhealed, and unhappy." Although she said she knew the decision was the right one, it was by no means an easy one, and the "Cam" star began to misuse alcohol. "I felt a deep well of shame — feelings that I binged and drank my way through," she confessed. 

Despite attending the prestigious American Musical and Dramatic Academy (AMDA) in New York, Madeline Brewer was a raw nerve when she auditioned for the role that made her (or at least her character) a household name. While reading for the role of tough girl Tricia Miller on "Orange is the New Black," she recalled that she was so nervous she shook the whole time and left in tears. In an interview with AMDA Magazine, she said, "I left and called my mom and sobbed for 20 minutes: 'I'm never doing that again. That was the worst audition of my life. I'm not cut out for this TV thing... I'm not doing it.'" Obviously, it turned out well, but Brewer later revealed that she was living with generalized anxiety. "It's something that's very common, especially within artistic people, anxiety and depression — both of which are something that I've dealt with," she said. 

Like many celebrity health struggles that have completely flown under the radar, Brewer's anxiety and depression were not public knowledge. In a 2017 interview with Cosmopolitan, she shared that she ended up on a destructive path fueled by alcohol and bad relationships. "I was getting swept up in going to parties and getting drunk too much," she said. "I was more concerned with my now-ex-boyfriend than I was about my life and my career. I was so insecure and scared all the time that I drank to not deal with my thoughts and my fears."

Some of the best performances are those that draw on real life events to shape them. "The Handmaid's Tale" star Madeline Brewer has a wealth of experience to mine from when creating her characters. She and her "Handmaid's" character, Janine, both dealt with the aftermath of terminating pregnancies. She shares the reality of dealing with anxiety with her fictional character Ali from the movie "Hedgehog." And as for playing the love interest of a bad boyfriend? Brewer has admittedly been in a few bad relationships. "The more life experience you have, the more emotions you have gone through...the more things that you can pull from and bring and color a character so much more beautifully and accurately and give them those nuances that are so important," she told AMDA Magazine.

Brewer was also able to look to her own life when she portrayed her "Orange is the New Black" character, Tricia, going through drug withdrawal. Although she said she never dealt with drug addiction herself, one of Brewer's best friends from New Jersey was addicted to Oxycontin and heroin. In an interview with Kobsupang Robertson, Brewer said, "I've seen people struggle with it and I screamed at one of my friends like 'What are you doing to your life?' But also I'm very happy because I witnessed and I understand that it helped me so I was able to understand Tricia." In her aforementioned Nylon interview, she shared that this same friend offered her insights into what it's like to go through withdrawals. "I spoke to a friend about his own experience with heroin addiction. He told me that during withdrawal his bones literally hurt, which gave me a raw picture to work with," she said.

Acting is one thing. Making a living as a successful working actor is another. Madeline Brewer learned that firsthand when, after landing the breakout role of Tricia on "Orange is the New Black" a mere four months after drama school, she found herself once again at square one. She was back to waiting tables and going on auditions in the hopes of landing her next big part. She was cast in a few small roles and a commercial or two, but nothing was clicking. "This industry is a bad boyfriend. It makes you feel bad about yourself," she said in an interview with AMDA Magazine. "It gives you a little bit, and then it pushes you away for a couple months. Sometimes you want to break up with it, but you gotta keep coming back because you love it and deep down you know it's a good thing." 

The rejections began to take a toll on Brewer who started  to rethink her career path. "I was like, 'You know what? I gotta quit. I can't do this," she told Cosmopolitan. She got off the audition hamster wheel and began pursuing a certification as a yoga instructor. Brewer said it was a tough time but said it helped her find the strength to get back in the game. "I needed it to kick myself into high gear," she says. "I was feeling sorry for myself. I couldn't get out of my own way." 

Since she was a child, Madeline Brewer's first love was the theatre. Becoming a television or film star wasn't necessarily on her radar. So, when the opportunity came to Sally Bowles in a production of "Cabaret" on London's West End in 2022, Brewer's inner self-professed "f**ing musical theatre nerd," jumped at the chance. "This is the role of a lifetime," she gushed in her aforementioned interview with Untitled Magazine. "I'm still pinching myself. I cannot believe that I get to do this. I get to play Sally f***ing Bowles." 

The production took place in between "Handmaid's" seasons, and Brewer threw herself so wholeheartedly into the role that it took a toll on her physical health, leaving her feeling weak and worn down. "I took every feeling I had about theater for a decade and put it into this one character who wasn't meant to hold all of that," she said in an interview with Vanity Fair. The actor was also dealing with emotional challenges as her anxiety and fear bubbled up during her four-month run. "I was so stressed out just thinking it would all be taken away, which is not the place I operate from anymore," she recalled. Brewer received good reviews in her role as Bowels, and she expressed an interest in playing the part on Broadway, telling Vanity Fair, "it would also be a completely different performance.

There is a silver lining at least: While she was in London for "Cabaret," "The Handmaid's Tale" actor met her real-life partner, cinematographer Jack Thompson-Roylance. The two are set to wed in July 2025.

The entertainment industry is rife with stories about unwelcome intimate encounters both on screen and off; for decades, there have been horrible "casting couch" tales and beyond. It's a touchy situation because if an actor speaks up about feeling uncomfortable, well, just look at the controversy surrounding Blake Lively to see what can go wrong. On "Podcrushed," Brewer reflected on negative behind-the-scenes experiences that happened early in her career. While she did not get into details, she did note how important it is to feel supported while filming. "I just think of someone 21 years old, like I was when I did this job, and feeling so lost, no one to talk to, no protection, no feeling of safety because you don't want to be the squeaky wheel and you don't want to ruffle any feathers," she said. 

These feelings reared their head when she filmed an intimate scene on "You" with costar Penn Badgley years later. "I truly just froze and was about to cry," Brewer told Vanity Fair in 2025, noting that Badgley and the show's intimacy coordinator made her feel safe. "We really met each other in a place where it was, like: 'If you're not good, please tell me, and if I'm not good, I'll say it,'" she shared. Brewer had nothing but the highest praise for her costar Badgley and his professionalism, both on and off screen. "If I have to work with actors who are men," she joked with the magazine, "I want them all to be Penn."

Landing the role of Joe Goldberg's love interest on the fifth and final season of "You" should have been a dream come true for Madeline Brewer, who was an ardent fan of the series prior to joining the cast. Instead, her character Bronte, aka Louise Flannery, was strongly disliked by much of the show's fanbase who had fallen in love with the handsome serial killer played by Penn Badgley. Their vitriol didn't stop at Bronte, however. The negativity spilled over onto Brewer, and fans viciously attacked the actor online, often in the form of rude comments about her appearance. "I get that I'm not everybody's cup of tea, but I'm not ugly," she told People. "I had thought that the largest fan base of this show is women, young women, and I never anticipated the amount of misogyny to be fired at me." 

We know that Brewer and the rest of the stars of "The Handmaid's Tale" are gorgeous in real life, but people sure love to pick apart actors' looks regardless. Take "White Lotus" Season 3 cast member Aimee Lou Wood for example, a stunning star whose distinctive teeth almost garnered more attention than her fabulous acting chops. But just because it's commonplace doesn't mean it's acceptable. For someone like Brewer, who was bullied in her youth, it can be especially damaging. "I feel very grateful that this didn't happen at an earlier time in my life. If this had happened when I was 25, I would have crumbled because I wasn't in therapy yet," she said. 

If you or anyone you know needs help with addiction issues or mental health, reach out to the relevant resources below:

• Visit the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website or contact SAMHSA's National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357).

• Contact the Crisis Text Line by texting HOME to 741741, call the National Alliance on Mental Illness helpline at 1-800-950-NAMI (6264), or visit the National Institute of Mental Health website.