Glaring Red Flags In JFK Jr. & Carolyn Bessette's Marriage We Can't Ignore

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The new FX series "Love Story" has rekindled interest in the complicated life of John F. Kennedy Jr. and his wife, Carolyn Bessette. Once hailed as America's royal couple, the tarnish in their crowns often peeked through during the three years they were married. Bessette, the chief publicist for Calvin Klein, was thrown into an unfamiliar world and burdened with the weight of sudden fame. JFK Jr., famous for his hot temper, reportedly couldn't understand why his wife was so uncomfortable with his family. The two even sought marriage counseling to work through their issues.

Kennedy and Bessette would have been married 30 years in September 2026 if tragedy hadn't intervened. In July 1999, the couple, along with Bessette's sister Lauren Bessette, were killed when the plane John was flying crashed en route to his cousin Rory Kennedy's wedding at the Kennedy compound. Adding to the tragedy is the fact we'll never know whether the power duo would actually have stayed together for those three decades. There were plenty of red flags in their relationship from the start, and it can take only one major issue for a marriage to fall apart. For those interested in playing armchair therapist, we present some of the drama behind the scenes of America's second Camelot couple.

John F. Kennedy Jr. literally grew up in the spotlight from the day he was born. As the namesake son of a hugely popular president, he had cameras trained on his every public move, from the adorable pic of little "John-John" peeking through the Resolute Desk in the Oval Officeto the indelible sight of the 3-year-old saluting his father's coffin passing by in the state funeral procession. Carolyn Bessette Kennedy's tragic life was markedly different. Though she grew up in a well-to-do household and dealt with celebrity clients at Calvin Klein, she was unaccustomed to being the object of attention herself. The strain of being followed by paparazzi was almost more than she could handle. 

"She was terrified. Absolutely terrified," biographer Elizabeth Beller told Katie Couric on her podcast. Though the photogs took a more casual approach when she and Kennedy were out together, "if she was on her own, they would often close in and yell out epithets to try to get a face of unhappiness, which they could then use to create the narrative that there was trouble in the marriage." And there might well have been, if Bessette couldn't find a way to rise above the media crush.

In-law troubles have been a stumbling block for as long as marriage has existed, but Carolyn Bessette had the double disadvantage of marrying into a large, prominent, and very insular political family. In his biography, "The Kennedy Heirs," J. Randy Taraborrelli detailed the uncomfortable weekend Bessette first met her then-boyfriend's clan at their Hyannis Port compound. She was unprepared for the family tradition of discussing current events at the dinner table and was caught off guard when the formidable Ethel asked her about the recent assault weapons ban. Ethel reportedly confided to her son Joseph that Carolyn was "all smoke and mirrors."

Even after Bessette and John Jr. married, she was never completely at ease with the Kennedys. Taraborrelli explained that she felt overwhelmed by their loud exuberance and didn't feel she belonged. Her husband, a Kennedy through and through, had no intention of sacrificing his family bonds for her sake. Tragically, Bessette's reluctance might have saved her life: She reportedly didn't want to attend Rory Kennedy's wedding. John's personal assistant finally talked her into it, saying it would make both of them look bad if she stayed home.

Being able to fight fairly is essential to a successful partnership. That certainly didn't seem to be the case back in 1996, when JFK Jr. and Carolyn Bessette had a heated dispute just months before their wedding. Even worse for them, it was caught on camera. Photographer Angie Coqueran, who took the now-famous pictures, told the Daily Mail that while observing the couple in New York's Battery Park, she saw they began shouting at each other, with Kennedy pushing his fiancée several times and then yanking her engagement ring off so violently that it broke. "It looked like he was going to smack her in the face," Coqueran said. 

The two hugged it out shortly afterward, after an apparently repentant Kennedy was seen huddled on a curb. But the drama cast doubt on whether the two had what it took to make it in the long run. And if this wasn't an isolated instance of physical and verbal violence on the former first son's part, that may have led to a short marriage if they had lived long enough to divorce.

If you or someone you know is dealing with domestic abuse, you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−7233. You can also find more information, resources, and support at their website.

Stress can take a toll on any relationship, and John F. Kennedy Jr. and Carolyn Bessette Kennedy had more than their share. Her fish-out-of-water status among his family was just one of their problems. John was trying to keep his magazine, George — his daring attempt at changing political journalism — afloat, meaning long hours and time away from home. On a more personal level, John's cousin Anthony Radziwill, nephew to his mother Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, was nearing the end stages of a long battle with cancer. The two men were extremely close, so it was heartbreaking for John to face the thought of losing him.

Months before his death, the Kennedy heir was also reportedly considering following in the family footsteps. Friend and biographer Steven Gillon told Town & Country: "He had this exploratory meeting in March 1999 about whether to run for the Senate, so he was definitely thinking about it, but George was in a bad state, his marriage was in a bad state. He wasn't ready. He's fighting with his sister. His best friend is dying. He had a lot on his plate."

Though John F. Kennedy Jr. and Carolyn Bessette had been married only three years at the time of their untimely death, there was already speculation that history might repeat itself. After all, his dad, John F. Kennedy, was notorious for his roving eye and rumored to have had flings with everyone from Marilyn Monroe to members of his own White House staff. John Jr.'s uncles, Ted Kennedy and Robert F. Kennedy, were also linked to other women. According to Steven Gillon, the Kennedy scion was actually trying to end the family "tradition." He told Page Six: "I doubt that John was involved with anyone else or having an affair. He used to say that he did not want to treat his wife the way his dad treated his mom."

If there was straying within the young marriage, it might have been on Bessette's part. Model Michael Bergin wrote an explosive tell-all in 2004, "The Other Man: John F. Kennedy Jr., Carolyn Bessette, and Me," in which he claimed to have had a liaison with her. Either way, infidelity would have been a difficult hurdle for the golden couple to overcome.

Finally, we predict this celeb couple may have been headed for divorce because they were reportedly contemplating it themselves. Biographer Taraborrelli quotes a "trusted friend" of Carolyn Bessette's who claims she already had one foot out the door at the time of the dispute over Rory's wedding. "She said she was putting John on probation," the friend quoted. "'I'm going to give it three more months and see how I feel,' she said."  Elizabeth Beller, author of "Once Upon a Time: The Captivating Story of Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy," affirms that the wedding fight was a tipping point. JFK Jr. was reportedly so upset over the argument that he even went to stay in a hotel for a few nights to cool off. 

Though the biographers agree that Kennedy and Bessette seemed to be in a good place again by the time of their fatal flight, just the fact that divorce was on the table was a warning sign. Psychologist Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., told Psychology Today that partners should never bring up the topic as a punishment or as a threat in the heat of the moment, as it "isn't helpful or fair." (Some couples take this so seriously that they enter into a "covenant marriage" in which they agree divorce will never be an option.) If fate had been kinder to the young Kennedys, they would have had time to work on rekindling their love.