Prince Harry Reveals The Heartbreaking Moment When He Stopped Wanting A Royal Life

Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex, may have stepped down as a working royal in 2020, but his heart left the royal life long before that. Harry, who has been visiting Australia since April 14 with his wife, Meghan Markle, Duchess of Sussex, just vulnerably shared the exact moment when he decided he was done with being royal. And his confession will break your heart. At the InterEdge Summit at Melbourne Park on April 16, Prince Harry opened up about grief and how the loss of his mom, the late Princess Diana, in 1997 changed his feelings about his future.

"In my experience, loss is disorienting at any age. Grief does not disappear because we ignore it," Harry said at the private event, as reported by PA Media (via People). "Experiencing that as a kid while in a goldfish bowl under constant surveillance, yes, that will have its challenges. And without purpose, it can break you."

Diana died when he was 12, which prompted him to reevaluate life as a royal. "I was like, 'I don't want this job. I don't want this role — wherever this is headed, I don't like it,'" Harry said. "It killed my mum and I was very much against it, and I stuck my head in the sand for years and years." One thing that helped him remain in his royal role for so long afterward was thinking about how he could use the advantages of his position "to make a difference in the world."

Over the years, Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex, has talked fondly about his mom, Princess Diana, and shared some of the trauma responses he's experienced since her death. He turned to drugs and alcohol for a period and even traveled the same tunnel where Diana died in an attempt at gaining closure. His memories aren't all bad, however. In a December 2022 episode of "Harry & Meghan," Harry recalled some of the better times with Diana. "But I always remember her laugh, her cheeky laugh," he said. "And she always said to me, if you get into trouble, just don't get caught. And I'll always be that cheeky person inside." He added that his childhood was "filled with laughter, filled with happiness, and filled with adventure."

In January 2023, Harry admitted that he feels Diana's presence to this day. In an interview with Hoda Kotb for "Today," Harry said that he feels his mother's "presence in almost everything." He added, "[I feel her] more so over the past two years than ever before. She's watching over us."

It seems like Harry is doing his best to use his platform for good and continue to honor Diana with his life, even though he is not a working royal any longer. We can't help but believe she would be proud.