Growing Pains: Cast Relationships & Romance Rumors Behind-The-Scenes Of The Hit '80s Sitcom

Between 1985 and 1992, "Growing Pains" fans watched two different generations navigate relationships: married couple Maggie Seaver (Joanna Kerns) and Dr. Jason Seaver (Alan Thicke), along with their four kids. Fans witnessed some big moments in the Seaver siblings' lives, including first kisses and proposals, while their parents navigated some of the tough decisions spouses have to make. Behind the scenes, there was also a lot going on in the love lives of the show's cast.

When the series premiered, Thicke and Kerns' characters were introduced as a happily married couple, but in real life, the actors were both single divorcees. Meanwhile, Kirk Cameron's portrayal of ladies' man Mike Seaver made him an '80s teen heartthrob, meaning his romantic status was of great interest to many of the show's younger fans. But it was the actor who played Ben Seaver, Jeremy Miller, who was the real player when the cameras weren't rolling. As for Carol Seaver actor Tracey Gold, appearing on the show helped her find lasting love. Over the years, the cast has also had to clear up some rumors about their relationships. So, let's take a look at who the "Growing Pains" cast was really sharing the laughter and love with off-screen.

When he got the "Growing Pains" gig, Alan Thicke had recently separated from "Days of Our Lives" star Gloria Loring, the mother of his sons Robin and Brennan Thicke. Meanwhile, things weren't going so great for Joanna Kerns and her husband, Richard Kerns, who ended up divorcing the same year the show premiered. "I met Alan for the first time as we walked down the long hallway at ABC to audition for 'Growing Pains,'" Joanna recalled to Entertainment Weekly. "We were in similar places. My first marriage was falling apart, and he was in the middle of a divorce." They had a special connection before they even read a single line together. "He made me laugh," said Joanna. "A little flirting was going on."

The actors' natural chemistry was apparently easy for viewers to see, as Alan had to later quash rumors that he and Joanna had trekked into treacherous territory by dating each other. He did admit it was something they had considered, but they ultimately decided they didn't want to be one of those celeb couples who had to keep working together after breaking up. "We thought, 'You know, it's possible, this is a good show, it could last longer than a relationship,'" he explained to Today in 2016.

While Joanna Kerns and Alan Thicke decided that pursuing an off-screen relationship was a recipe for disaster, Kerns did find love with another TV dad: "The Wonder Years" star Dan Lauria. The actors began dating after Lauria played a hockey coach in a 1986 episode of "Growing Pains." On "A Spoonful of Paolo," Kerns revealed that Lauria convinced her to try directing, and he even produced the 1989 play that she helmed, "What Every Woman Knows." She recalled, 'When Dan was on 'Growing Pains,' he started calling me 'boss,' and he says, 'You should be directing.'"

Kerns returned the favor by helping Lauria score the role that would earn him a spot in pop culture history as one of TV's most iconic dads. In a 2014 A.V. Club interview, Lauria said he was interested in the role of Jack Arnold when "The Wonder Years" was being cast, but he didn't want to ring up co-creator Neal Marlens to request an audition. "Too unprofessional," he explained. Marlens also created "Growing Pains," and Kerns had no such qualms about calling him. "If Joanna Kerns didn't make that call, I probably never even would've gotten to audition," Lauria said. He and Kerns later played a married couple in the 1996 made-for-TV movie "Terror in the Family." Their on-screen daughter was portrayed by none other than "Growing Pains" guest star Hilary Swank.

In 1990, Joanna Kerns starred in the miniseries "Blind Faith" as a mom who gets murdered. It was based on the real-life killing of Maria Marshall, whose husband was later convicted of orchestrating the crime in a murder-for-hire plot. One of Maria's sons, Roby Marshall, had been hired as a consultant for the miniseries, and he happened to overhear Kerns trying to play matchmaker for one of her co-stars, Tracey Gold. "Roby kind of piped up and said, 'Well I want to come to the show, I want to meet Tracey,'" Kerns recalled during a 2006 "Growing Pains" cast reunion on "Larry King Live." 

According to Gold, she had never even dated anyone before, but she and Roby got hitched in 1994. The following year, she told the Los Angeles Times, "We've been through a lot together. It's been a real relationship and we both came with a lot of stuff that we had to work through." The "Growing Pains" star and one of her on-screen siblings also had some stuff to work through. According to Gold, Kirk Cameron was not on her wedding guest list. "If I'd invited him, he probably wouldn't have come," she told the Los Angeles Times in 2000. Gold still seemed a little hurt that Cameron hadn't invited his TV family to his wedding, but with the two later reuniting several times for interviews, it seems like they channeled their "Growing Pains" characters by eventually making amends.

Before the Oscar nomination for "What's Eating Gilbert Grape" helped establish Leonardo DiCaprio as a cinema star, he found some success on the small screen. In 1991, he joined the cast of "Growing Pains" as one of those late-addition harbingers of doom who often signify that a series is a sinking ship. But while the sitcom's ratings were descending into the depths, its fresh blood was well on his way to being on top of the world — and a teenage DiCaprio was already working on his ladies' man rep. 

In 2016, Alan Thicke told the Chicago Tribune about the time the future "Titanic" star couldn't muster up the courage to ask an extra for her phone number. Instead of speaking to the girl in person, Thicke advised DiCaprio to find it on the wardrobe department's list of cast phone numbers. "I'm sure he feels he owes most of his adult social life to that tip," he quipped. While DiCaprio's first high-profile relationships wouldn't come until after "Growing Pains" ended, he achieved heartthrob status during his time on the show. Amy Adams and Anne Hathaway both confessed to crushing on him during his sitcom era, but he had no interest in being a teen idol. "Being the hunk-of-the month annoys me ... It could ruin your career, you get washed up really fast," he told the Los Angeles Times in 1993. "I'm looking for longevity."

Because Hilary Swank appeared on two episodes of "Growing Pains" after Leonardo DiCaprio joined the cast, one "Watch What Happens Live" caller's question for her was whether the "Boys Don't Cry" and "This Boy's Life" stars ever dated. Swank denied becoming romantically involved with DiCaprio, but she did say, "We became best friends." They were even attending a 1992 party together when Swank met her future husband, Chad Lowe.

In an interview with People, Lowe recalled, "It was like the old [cliché] where you see somebody, lock eyes across the room, and time stands still." He asked Swank out that night, and they tied the knot in 1997. The couple was still together in 2005 when DiCaprio and Swank posed next to one another at the Golden Globes with their lead acting awards for their respective films, "The Aviator" and "Million Dollar Baby." However, Swank and Lowe announced their separation the following year.

Kirk Cameron and "Who's the Boss" actor Alyssa Milano were undeniably two of the biggest teen sitcom stars of the '80s. They also could have become one of the era's most hyped young power couples — if Cameron had left a better impression on Milano when he took her out during their teen magazine heydays. "My very first date was with Kirk Cameron. I was 13," Milano recalled in a since-deleted 2020 post on X (via Hollywood Life). "His mom picked me up at my parents house and dropped us off at Stanley's in Sherman Oaks. He wore too much cologne." Cameron also mentions Milano in his memoir, "Still Growing: An Autobiography," and what he has to say is a little more flattering. "Sure, I had a crush on Alyssa Milano from 'Who's the Boss?' What teenage guy didn't?" he writes.

Milano wasn't the only actor Cameron had eyes for. Before they joined the cast of "Growing Pains," he and Tracey Gold had starred together in "The Best of Times" and "Beyond Witch Mountain," though their working relationship started with a McDonald's ad. "I had a bit of a crush on her ... which probably sounds a bit creepy to the rest of the world who think of us as siblings," Cameron writes in his book. He adds that their off-screen relationship eventually became more like that of a real-life brother and sister.

In "Still Growing," Kirk Cameron reveals that he wasn't religious when he began filming "Growing Pains." However, that changed when he met a guest star on the show named Leanna Creel, who was part of the "Saved by the Bell" cast. Leanna and her sisters are triplets, and two of them appeared together on a 1987 "Growing Pains" episode. The following year, Creel revealed that Cameron took her to a homecoming dance, while Cameron later revealed in his book that she took him to church. "To be perfectly honest, I didn't want to go. But I accepted the invitation — not because I was interested in religion, but because I didn't want to offend her family," he writes. 

He told the story a little differently in a 2024 New York Post interview, claiming that he wasn't aware that his date with Creel would consist of listening to a sermon when he agreed to it. "She was so cute, I wanted to go out on a date with her and she said, 'Well, meet me this weekend.' I said, 'Great.' And so she gave me the address," he recalled. "And where did I show up? At a church." Despite his initial lack of enthusiasm, Cameron did pay attention to what the preacher said. This was the beginning of his journey to becoming a born-again Christian whose career is now centered on his faith. As for Creel, she later founded her own production company, came out as a lesbian, and married real estate agent Rinat Greenberg.

In his book "If You Would Have Told Me," John Stamos reveals that he and actor Chelsea Noble started dating after she appeared on "Full House." However, they called it quits because his lifestyle wasn't compatible with her Christian beliefs. Stamos also claims that it was at his place where Kirk Cameron first crossed paths with Noble. At the time, Stamos was hosting a party for the "Full House" cast. However, Cameron recalls things a bit differently. In a PragerU interview, Cameron said that his first interaction with Noble happened on the "Growing Pains" set. He noticed her cross necklace first, then he saw her face (and he was a believer). "I, you know, melted," he recalled. 

Noble had been cast as a love interest for character Mike Seaver, and Cameron freaked out when he learned that they would share an on-screen kiss. "I had the kissing abilities of a chicken," he explained. His brilliant idea to make the situation less awkward was to rub oral anesthetic on his lips, and Noble was stunned speechless when it numbed her mouth — as in, she literally couldn't form words. Cameron then quipped to his costar, "This is the normal reaction girls have when I kiss them. It's paralyzing." Cameron believes this moment sealed the deal with Noble, whose first appearance on "Growing Pains" was in 1989. The costars married in 1991. Now, Cameron has six kids and refuses to film kissing scenes with anyone but Noble, so other leading ladies are safe from that benumbing beak.

On "Growing Pains," Julie McCullough famously played Julie Costello, the woman Mike Seaver almost married. One long-standing rumor about the sitcom is that Kirk Cameron got McCullough fired from the show because he didn't like that she had posed for Playboy. By the end of McCullough's final season, Chelsea Noble had replaced her as Mike's love interest. 

In a 2017 Wingman Magazine interview, McCullough claimed Cameron knew she was a Playmate when she was hired on the show and even advocated for her casting. However, she believes his feelings about her changed when he became a born-again Christian. "He wouldn't talk to me ... It was just completely a different person," she recalled on "The Patrick LabyorSheaux." But in "Growing Still," Cameron quotes showrunner Dan Guntzelman, who revealed that both Julies were always doomed from the start. "Julie was let go because Mike being in a committed relationship was a dead end," he explained.

Another actor who played one of Mike's love interests, "Arrow" star Kelly Hu, also experienced some behind-the-scenes drama after her character kissed him during the Seavers' Hawaii trip. Apparently, some fans found the scene from the 1987 episode a little too convincing. "Kirk Cameron was my first on-camera kiss, and I got all kinds of death threats from little girls who were jealous that I got to kiss him," she recalled to ComicMix.

When Jeremy Miller made a move straight out of Mike Seaver's playbook, he could have sparked a teenage rivalry between Danica McKellar and Candace Cameron Bure — if they had known what he was up to. While she and Bure were competing against each other on "Dancing with the Stars" in 2014, McKellar learned something from the "Full House" star that surprised her: Miller had dumped Bure to go out with her when they were teens. "It was a really big love triangle," Bure told E! News. In 2023, McKellar revealed that Miller asked her out at a party Bure was also attending — and at the time, Bure believed she and Miller were still very much a couple. "We were like 13 years old. So, this was not any kind of serious relationship," McKellar told Fox News.

When Miller told his side of the story on "Oprah: Where Are They Now?" in 2015, he insisted that he never dated both girls at once. However, he did admit, "I broke up with Candace and started pursuing Danica ... Apparently, I broke Candace's heart." Miller said McKellar didn't view him as boyfriend material at first because she was a little older than him, but he was so besotted that he performed a grand romantic gesture to win her heart: scoring them tickets to the 1989 "Batman" premiere. "We dated for like the next two years," he revealed on the "That's Classic!" podcast, adding that he considers McKellar, not Bure, his first girlfriend.

In addition to helping Leonardo DiCaprio become a household name, "Growing Pains" played a lesser role in a handful of Hollywood success stories. As they were growing their careers, Heather Graham, Brad Pitt, and Hilary Swank scored small parts on the show. However, their guest spots weren't nearly as memorable as that of late "Friends" star Matthew Perry. He played Carol Seaver's boyfriend in three Season 4 episodes, with his story arc famously ending when his character died in the hospital after crashing his car while driving drunk.

One of Perry's famous exes also appeared in Season 4 of "Growing Pains": Tricia Leigh Fisher, sister of late "Star Wars" legend Carrie Fisher. However, she wasn't in the same episodes as Perry, instead playing a model who was supposed to pose nude for Mike Seaver's photography class assignment. In his book "Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing," Perry writes that he lost his virginity to Tricia, whom he was likely dating when their "Growing Pains" episodes aired. 

For many young "Growing Pains" fans, Jane Powell was just Jason Seaver's mom, Irma Seaver Overmier. However, older viewers may have recognized her from her roles in the '50s musicals "Royal Wedding" and "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers." Irma got engaged in a 1988 episode of "Growing Pains," and that same year, Powell married her fifth husband, former child star Dickie Moore. Some of his acting credits include the "Our Gang" films and the title role in the 1933 "Oliver Twist" adaptation.

Powell was friends with Elizabeth Taylor, whose eight marriages became almost as legendary as her acting career. The Washington Post shared a quote from Powell about their friendship in her 2021 obituary: "I was a bridesmaid at her first wedding, and she was one at mine. I'm glad we stopped it, or it would have become a full-time career." Powell officially retired as a bride after marrying Moore, whom she met when he interviewed her for his 1984 book about child stars, "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star: But Don't Have Sex Or Take the Car." In his book, he writes of their first meeting: "She brought to mind a bouquet of daffodils."