9 Times Michelle Obama's Behavior Had Us Scratching Our Heads

Michelle Obama is one of a kind. There are several signs that she wears the pants in her relationship with former President Barack Obama, and while Michelle's life has changed significantly since leaving the White House, she remains a prominent American figure — a reminder of a simpler and more peaceful time in American politics. She was adored by many during her tenure as first lady, receiving a minute-long standing ovation from the crowd when she made an appearance on "The Late Show with Stephen Colbert" in 2016.

Michelle entertained the crowd with an impression of her husband, revealing that a seemingly romantic photograph of her and Barack taken at the White House was actually anything but (the photographer managed to snap the picture as Michelle was trying to convince her husband to be patient because he doesn't particularly enjoy getting his picture taken). She made good fun of her other half and said he only has two types of smiles when the camera comes out. Additionally, she took a moment to make fun of Colbert as well after he asked about her nickname for Barack, which she previously revealed in an interview with Oprah Winfrey. The pet name? Swagalicious. When asked what one has to do to earn this moniker, Michelle responded, "It's a person that has a lot of swag. And if you don't know what swag is, Steve, you definitely don't have it."

Michelle is certainly good fun, and she knows how to hold her own in a world where women are often put into boxes. It should come as no surprise, then, that people are often confused by her candor. She might no longer be the first lady (even though many want her to run for president), but she's still one of the most talked-about women in America.

Michelle Obama once had "a sleepover at Buckingham Palace" — her words, not ours. Technically it was a state dinner, but she and Barack Obama were hosted at the palace by Queen Elizabeth II, and she had a grand time. When she met the queen for the first time in 2009, however, Michelle was nervous, and their initial meeting made headlines because the then newly-minted first lady went in for a hug — le gasp! There are strict rules royals from around the world are supposed to follow, and not hugging their constituents or politicians is usually one of them. But Queen Elizabeth II threw caution to the wind and hugged Michelle right back, sending internet chatter into overdrive.

Michelle finally addressed the much-talked-about moment in her memoir, "Becoming," saying the queen commented on her height, and Michelle told the monarch that her high heels were largely responsible for her towering over everyone. "These shoes are unpleasant, are they not?" the queen said. Michelle recalled how they really bonded in that moment. "Forget that she sometimes wore a diamond crown and that I'd flown to London on the presidential jet: we were just two tired ladies oppressed by our shoes," Michelle recalled. "I then did what's instinctive to me anytime I feel connected to a new person, which is to express my feelings outwardly. I laid a hand affectionately across her shoulder." The former first lady said she had no idea it wasn't allowed until the internet called her out.

The American economy wasn't doing that great in 2011, and Michelle Obama might have been the first lady, but even the White House can probably get rather dull when you spend most of your time there. So off she went to Target for a good ol' shopping trip, disguised as a regular civilian. Nobody expected to see Michelle Obama in Target, so no one, except the cashier who had the honor of checking out her groceries and a photographer for the Associated Press, recognized the first lady.

The photographs of Obama shopping at Target understandably went viral, and while they initially evoked some praise, critics quickly jumped in, accusing the first lady of staging the entire thing to appear more relatable to the average American. Questions about how the AP photographer knew Michelle would be at Target were valid, given that the first lady's schedule isn't exactly public knowledge. "First Lady Michelle Obama shopping at Target with an AP photographer in tow . . . . planned? I think so," Fox News host Sean Hannity tweeted at the time, per the Washington Post. He wasn't the only one delivering scathing criticism, either. Conservative commentator Rush Limbaugh didn't mince words either, calling the Target excursion "a phony-baloney plastic banana good-time rock-and-roller optic photo op." Ouch.

Amid all the criticism, Obama's spokesperson declined to comment, simply saying that this was hardly the first time she had been out and about, even though it was the first time she was photographed doing so. "It is not uncommon for the First Lady to slip out to run an errand, eat at a local restaurant or otherwise enjoy the city outside the White House gates," the statement read.

Michelle Obama's brother, Craig Robinson, was never convinced her romance with Barack Obama would last. Boy, was he wrong. Michelle and Barack have been married over 30 years, but she's been more candid about her marriage than most first ladies before her, even admitting that there was a period when she wasn't her husband's biggest fan. It was a confession many couldn't believe she actually made. "People think I'm being catty by saying this — it's like, there were 10 years where I couldn't stand my husband," she told Revolt TV (via The Guardian) in 2022. "And guess when it happened? When those kids were little." It's therefore no surprise that Michelle refused to have another child after Sasha and Malia Obama were born.

Michelle detailed how she felt she was carrying most of the responsibility when it came to raising her kids, with Barack continuing to pursue his political ambitions. She said she learned a valuable lesson during that time. "Marriage isn't 50/50 – ever, ever," the former first lady explained. "Ten years – we've been married 30. I would take 10 bad years over 30 – it's just how you look at it."

Michelle again left fans shocked when she got candid about a nasty fight she and the former president once got into. "We each know how to win an argument," Michelle said during an episode of "The Michelle Obama Podcast" (via SheKnows). "And sometimes, we can feel ourselves, just, lawyering ourselves to death. We both like to win." She quickly realized, after a fight where she threw away her engagement ring, that her husband carries the emotional aftermath of their fights much longer than she does. "So I had to learn, how not to go there," Michelle said.

Given that Michelle Obama surely knows that much of what she says could end up in a headline, her candor when it comes to her marriage is unusual and often surprising. In her book, "The Light We Carry," she revealed one of the secrets to her successful marriage — don't let your entire life revolve around your spouse. "[Me and Barack] have never tried to be each other's 'everything,' in life, to single-handedly shoulder the entire load of care that each of us requires," she wrote (via The Guardian). The two have instead leaned on their friends and community in tough times rather than putting it all on each other. This might seem like an odd way to go about marriage for some, but clearly it's been working for the couple.

Their decision to "distribute the load" as Michelle put it, was surely helpful during those years almost everything her husband did irked the first lady. "I said it on the book tour as a joke; there were times that I wanted to push Barack out of the window," Michelle said on "The Michelle Obama Podcast" (via X). She added that, despite all the challenges, she has learned that the real secret to a lasting marriage is not giving up when the going gets tough.

It only seems fair that, if your spouse gets to tease you, you get to return the favor, right? Not so much with Michelle and Barack Obama's marriage. "See, we have a deal, Barack and I, in our marriage, and it started very early. It's like 'I can tease you, but you cannot tease me.'" Michelle disclosed on the "Good Hang" podcast with Amy Phoeler. She added that she often gets her two daughters, Sasha and Malia Obama, to join in on the fun. "He doesn't stand a chance," the former first lady added. "We mercilessly go after him. So, yes, teasing is our love language, and I tell him that."

While this might seem like yet another odd Obama relationship dynamic, Michelle explained that she grew up in a household where teasing was seen as a form of affection. It does seem strange that, since she sees it in this light, Michelle doesn't allow her husband to show affection in a similar manner. Michelle might be onto something with her teasing love language, however. A 2021 study published by Social and Personality Psychology Compass found that playfulness is important when it comes to maintaining a healthy relationship with your partner. It can help ease stress, solve conflict, and build trust.

Michelle Obama might have had many goals and aspirations as first lady, but her main goal, as she put it during an interview at London's Royal Festival Hall in 2018, was to "never become a meme" (via Sky News). She got so close to succeeding, and then, on her last official day as first lady, when she and Barack Obama welcomed Melania and Donald Trump to the White House, Michelle did become a meme after she fumbled a gift exchange with Melania.

The former first lady's expression after Melania handed her a big blue Tiffany's box had netizens in stitches. It was a moment for the history books: Michelle took the box and looked around awkwardly, trying to figure out what to do with it. Barack, ever the smooth operator, saw his wife's predicament and hurried to put it inside before they posed for a photograph with the new first couple. Michelle's facial expression while holding the box indeed became a meme, with pundits posting it all over social media with their two cents. "Soon to be ex-First Lady. Parting gift. Yeah, she's not pleased, political scientist Ian Bremmer posted on X, including a still of Michelle's perplexed face. "This was so awkward. Michelle was over that gift," another weighed in.

The former first lady later explained what was really going through her head on "The Ellen Show" in 2018, saying no one told her Melania would bring a gift, all her staff had already left, and she was confused as to whether she should pose for the photographs with the giant box under her arm. "I was like, 'What do you do with the box?'" Michelle recalled.

In early January 2025, everyone was asking why Michelle Obama hadn't been at former President Jimmy Carter's funeral. Barack Obama showed up by his lonesome and was the only president whose wife wasn't by his side. It was an odd sight indeed and had pundits asking some uncomfortable questions about the Obamas' marriage. "I'm told by her advisors that she has scheduling conflicts. She's still in Hawaii," Jeff Zeleny told CNN amid the media tempest (via Town & Country).

To make matters worse, Barack was stuck sitting next to President Donald Trump during the funeral proceedings (this would reportedly have been Michelle's spot if she'd shown up). Although she didn't attend, she did offer her condolences to the Carters. "Mrs. Obama sends her thoughts and prayers to the Carter family, and everyone who loved and learned from the remarkable former President," the former first lady's spokesperson, Crystal Carson, told Politico.

One could forgive Michelle Obama for favoring Hawaii over sitting next to Donald Trump during Jimmy Carter's funeral, but the former first lady really sent divorce rumors into overdrive when she also skipped Donald Trump's 2025 inauguration. Once again, Barack Obama showed up solo, and the internet chatter was relentless. In her book, "Becoming," Michelle called Donald Trump a "misogynist" and said she gave up putting a fake smile on her face during his first inauguration. It should be no surprise that she didn't want to go through it a second time, but she no doubt realized that her absence would make headlines, and yet she decided to let Barack attend a second prominent political event alone, all within the first month of 2025.

The move left many baffled, putting the rumor mill into high gear, with some netizens peddling a ludicrous theory that Barack was having an affair with actress Jennnifer Aniston. Michelle finally addressed the rumors on "IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson" in April 2025, saying she skipped the event simply because she didn't want to go. "My decision to make choices at the beginning of this year that suited me were met with such ridicule and criticism," the former first lady said. "People couldn't believe that I was saying no for any other reason, that they had to assume that my marriage was falling apart, you know?" Choosing to skip the event took some willpower, Michelle said. She felt obligated to go and was struggling with doing what was right for her as opposed to what the public would perceive as "the right thing."

In May 2025, Michelle Obama's behavior once again left people perplexed when the former first lady got flirty with another man amid all the divorce rumors. Michelle and her brother, Craig Robinson, interviewed the co-founder and CEO of Airbnb, Brian Chesky, for their "IMO" podcast, and the first lady seemed rather fond of the millionaire. "You know, I have to say, Brian, if I'm a single girl out there and I find out that Brian Chesky is single and I can, like, stay in his house," Michelle started before Robinson quickly interjected, "Here she goes! Goes right to the relationship," turning to his sister and adding, "He just got here!" Michelle was undeterred, however, adding, "I'm very invested in Brian's love life." That was, er, odd.

Either Michelle doesn't give a flying flamingo about those divorce rumors or she was in the mood to stir the pot. While making an appearance on "The Diary of a CEO" podcast at the beginning of May 2025, Michelle told the host, Steven Bartlett, that if she was having marital issues, she wouldn't be keeping it a secret. "If I were having problems with my husband, everybody would know about it," she said. "I'm not a martyr ... I would be problem-solving in public." Marital issues are arguably best solved in private. Needless to say, this statement from Michelle only made that rumor mill churn faster and made her flirty behavior towards Chesky all the more suspicious.