Mike Pence's Marriage Is Full Of Red Flags

On January 6, 2021, the fate of the country hung in the balance. An angry crowd had stormed the Capitol Building in Washington, D.C., disrupting the certification of the results of the presidential election. The crowd turned violent, clashing with police, and several people died while lawmakers sheltered for safety in the bowels of Capitol Hill. Ultimately, then-vice president Mike Pence decided to break with his boss, certifying the results and thereby ending President Donald Trump's initial term in office.

In the years since, faced with the scorn of the movement that once brought him to power, Pence has largely retreated from the political sphere. He briefly ran unsuccessfully in the 2024 presidential election — after all, the relationship between Trump and Pence is complicated — but otherwise, the former governor of Indiana has mostly focused on his family, and what an interesting family that is.

Throughout his time in the national spotlight, Pence has attracted a lot of attention for his relationship with his wife Karen, making repeated headlines for an unusual closeness that seems based on their specific religious beliefs. The former vice president apparently has an unusual nickname for his wife, and they've set some unusual ground rules for one another's behavior. Defenders would say that these are simply people of faith who are living according to what they feel to be the right way; others would say that these facts about Mike Pence's marriage are some serious red flags.

The red flags about Mike and Karen Pence's unusual relationship cropped up before they were married. They met in church when Karen was playing guitar and Mike was visiting. He asked around for her number, and after just one ice-skating date, Karen's niece told Mike that she bet him a dollar he'd wind up marrying her.

Karen's niece wasn't the only one convinced from the very beginning that marriage was in the cards. Long before Mike eventually popped the question, Karen prepared for the moment by buying a cross necklace and engraving the word "yes" on it. She carried the necklace around for months in her purse, waiting for the question she was convinced was coming.

When Mike finally got down on one knee, Karen gave him the necklace. In a 2013 interview, Karen told The Indy Star that her husband still had the engagement gift, though he never wore it. "He's afraid he's going to lose it," she said. As for why she fell in love with the future vice president in the first place, Karen said that there's an answer to that question that her husband would prefer she give. Dutifully complying, she said, "He was a stud." Ah, love ... (and if you're a fan of stories like that, check out these wedding proposals guaranteed to make you cry).

If you already know of one red flag about Mike and Karen Pence's marriage, it's likely his unusual nickname for his wife. The news broke in a Rolling Stone profile from 2017, when a reporter spoke with people who had attended a dinner thrown by the second family. Legislators gathered for the dinner were surprised to hear the way the Pences spoke to one another, especially when Mike turned to his wife and asked, "Mother, Mother, who prepared our meal this evening?" He followed that up with another question shortly thereafter, asking her, "Mother, Mother, whose china are we eating on?"

Yes, that's right: it seems that the former vice president of the United States refers to his wife as "mother." As the story spread across the internet, people were fascinated, arguing about whether the nickname was cute or represented the kind of regressive gender ideas we were supposed to be past as a country. Pence's office denied it was true, but Rep. Linda Lawson went on the record with PolitiFact and confirmed that she'd heard it herself. "The leader of the Democrats was sitting next to me on my right side," she said, "and I looked at him and I said, 'He called his wife f****** 'Mother!'"

Years later, a former press secretary for the VP tried to deny the whole thing yet again. On a podcast called "One Decision" (via The Hill), "The View" co-host Alyssa Farah — who now says Donald Trump was "unfixable" — insisted the nickname was a myth. She explained, "This has driven me crazy for years because it's weird." We have to agree!

If calling his wife "Mother" wasn't enough of a red flag, it seems that Mike and Karen Pence are joined at the hip in some unusual ways. A Washington Post profile of the political power couple revealed a number of odd anecdotes showing that the two just can't seem to be apart from one another for any length of time. For example, when they were designing their home at the Governor's Mansion in Indiana, the Pences had identical, side-by-side treadmills installed so that they could work out together. Cute or strange? Up to you!

It seems that Karen needed to always be able to reach her husband, which is an understandable impulse, but they went about it in an odd way. When he was first elected to the House of Representatives, Karen gave Mike an antique red telephone, which he installed on his desk. He did the same thing when he was governor, and only Karen had the phone number to the red phone on his desk. Cell phones, we should clarify, do exist!

Indiana writer Brian Howey, who covered the Pences in the state, told The Washington Post that Mike viewed his wife as an advisor of sorts, though it was tough to guess what influence she had over him exactly. "I would characterize her as the silent, omnipresent partner," he said. "You knew she was there, you knew there was some considerable influence she wielded, but, boy, she was not public about it." For the record, there are some glaring red flags that Donald and Melania Trump stick to outdated gender roles at home, too.

Before Mike Pence was famous thanks to his election as vice president, he held a number of other positions, including time spent as a member of the U.S. House of Representatives. Old interviews give us a glimpse into the world of a man who might've had aspirations but didn't, then know that someday he'd be working out of the White House, having his every move and every facet of his relationship scrutinized. That's why he probably felt fine saying in 2002 that he'd decided never to eat alone with a woman who wasn't his wife.

"I said, 'Well, I promised her that I wouldn't dine alone with a woman that's not my wife.' It wasn't very controversial until after I became vice president," Pence later remarked in an appearance on NewsNation (via The Hill). In fact, he'd told The Hill the same thing back in 2002, explaining that he avoids situations with alcohol unless his wife is there. "If there's alcohol being served and people are being loose," he said (via BBC News), "I want to have the best-looking brunette in the room standing next to me ... it's about building a zone around your marriage."

After this anecdote re-circulated, commenters pointed out that male politicians are often expected to dine with women — who, of course, are allowed to be politicians too. By excluding half the population from his dinners, Mike was, in essence, denying women the opportunity to succeed in politics. Defending himself to NewsNation, Pence reiterated, "Let me say, it's a promise my wife and I made to one another."

Mike Pence was a controversial vice president — again, that January 6th thing was a big deal — but his wife Karen made headlines all her own. She's an art therapist, and in 2019, the news broke that Karen was working at Immanuel Christian School, a school that would expel any student who came out as LGBTQ+. In addition, they refused to hire LGBTQ+ people, too. Understandably, this caused a scandal, as people concerned about equality wondered whether the second lady should be supporting an organization that would crack down on queer students and staff in such a way.

Mike not only defended his wife's job, but he also told reporters that supporting said discrimination was an important part of their beliefs as a couple. "To see major news organizations attacking Christian education is deeply offensive to us," he told the Eternal Word Television Network. "We'll let the other critics roll off our back, but this criticism of Christian education in America should stop." Mike missed — or was perhaps intentionally obfuscating — the fact that people weren't criticizing Christian education entirely; they were upset about the way this particular Christian school treated its students and staff.

Never one to avoid controversy, President Donald Trump jumped into the discourse to defend Karen. At the National Prayer Breakfast that year (via CNN), Trump told the crowd, "She just recently went back to teaching art classes at a Christian school ... Thank you, Karen."

When Mike Pence initially signed on to Donald Trump's ticket as his vice president, some onlookers were surprised that a family as religious as the Pences would throw their lot in with a scandal-plagued man like Trump. Still, it seems that initially, Karen supported her husband's boss. "Karen Pence was one of the biggest pro-Trump people and Trump defenders there was," Trump advisor Kellyanne Conway told The Washington Post. "She has a great sense of people and saw at events and rallies the enthusiasm and support for Mr. Trump." By the way, Conway and the Pences have a little-known family connection.

After the dust settled on the administration, however — after the way her husband was treated by his boss when he decided to stick to his constitutional duty to certify the results of the 2020 election — it seems that Karen changed her mind. At former president Jimmy Carter's funeral in 2025, Karen refused to acknowledge the Trumps. Speaking with Christianity Today afterward, Mike explained his wife's view on the once and future president. "You'd have to ask my wife about her posture," he said, "but we've been married 44 years, and she loves her husband." That tells us nothing ... and yet, it tells us everything.