Paris Jackson Doesn't Look Like This Anymore

Growing up with an extremely famous dad, Jackson had an unusual and quiet childhood. She described these years to Harper's Bazaar, saying, "The first 12 years of my life I was homeschooled... Which means that the only interactions I'd ever had were with family members or other adults."

Not being around other kids, Jackson wasn't much of a kid herself. Once she was no longer home-schooled at 12 years old in 2010, she had to readjust to a new life. She continued on to the tell the magazine, she, "didn't have social skills. I had to force myself to learn so fast.... For the past six years, I've been learning how to communicate. And I think I've gotten pretty good at it."

After Jackson's father passed away in 2009, she went through a few tough years. As she described to Rolling Stone in 2017, back in June of 2013, the then-15-year-old tried to kill herself, already struggling with depression and drug addiction. She later was able to verbalize what was happening at the time, saying, "It was just self-hatred... low self-esteem, thinking that I couldn't do anything right, not thinking I was worthy of living anymore."

Jackson attempted to commit suicide multiple times, but eventually was sent to a therapeutic school in Utah during her high school years. These years had a big impact on Jackson. She said, "It was great for me... I'm a completely different person... I was crazy. I was actually crazy. I was going through a lot of, like, teen angst. And I was also dealing with my depression and my anxiety without any help."

While acting is important to Jackson, it's actually modeling that has had a bigger effect on her life thus far. She opened up to Rolling Stone about her struggle in the past with self-image and how being in front of a camera helps. She said, "I've had self-esteem issues for a really, really long time.... Plenty of people think I'm ugly, and plenty of people don't."

Jackson admitted that being in front of the camera and modeling is a huge help to her self-esteem. She continued, "But there's a moment when I'm modeling where I forget about my self-esteem issues and focus on what the photographer's telling me — and I feel pretty. And in that sense, it's selfish."

Jackson has continued to express herself through fashion. Stylist Sonia Young, who has worked with Jackson in the past, spoke with The Los Angeles Times in 2017 about the young star's looks and how their meaning goes deeper than the material.

Young said, "The biggest thing with Paris is that she wants to use her platform for good. She wants to bring awareness to situations, so if we can do, say, the Alison Lou Planned Parenthood earring that she wears all the time, or even something as simple as a peace sign on the back of her dress that she designed with Jeremy Scott. She always likes to be heard and we like to reflect that in her clothing."

Even though Jackson loves performing, she definitely considered not being in the spotlight. But as the then-18-year-old told Harper's Bazaar in early 2017, she wanted to bring a voice to those who don't have the same means as her. She said, "Plenty of times I've thought about not doing anything in the public eye and having my own private life. Then I started seeing how everything in the world is going. And I feel like each year it's getting worse."

She also discussed the topic with Teen Vogue and talked about what she views as her responsibility, saying, "after a long time of thinking, I started to really see the kind of impact I already have on people, how I was born with a platform, and I didn't want to waste it. There are so many people who work their entire lives to create a platform and mine was just handed to me.... Why not use it for something important?"

It has now been about eight years since Michael Jackson passed away. Since then, a lot has changed, but Jackson is the first one to say the loss of her father still affects her. She told Rolling Stone, "They always say, 'Time heals...But it really doesn't. You just get used to it. I live life with the mentality of OK, I lost the only thing that has ever been important to me. So going forward, anything bad that happens can't be nearly as bad as what happened before. So I can handle it."

And throughout this time, Jackson has continued to make her father an important focus her in life. During the interview she shared that nine of her tattoos are devoted to Michael. She also sees him in her dreams. She said, "I feel him with me all the time."

At just 19 years old, Jackson is beyond her years. When Teen Vogue asked her what advice she would have given herself when she was younger, she showed the wisdom she has gained through all of her life experience. She said, "Probs that it's OK to not be OK. Don't be so hard on yourself. And stop comparing everyone else's 'highlight reel' to your 'behind the scenes.' Please don't give up, because it gets better, and it gets beautiful."

And her advice for her fans? Keep on keeping on. She said, "We are all warriors in our own way, but it's up to you whether you decide to fight or sit idly, whether you're a part of the right cause or not. And don't just follow everything that comes up on your phone or computer screen. Look up to something honest, strong, brave, loving, and worthwhile." Wise words from a wise woman.