Glaring Red Flags Donald & Melania Trump Stick To Outdated Gender Roles At Home

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Decidedly, marriage has not been easy for President Donald Trump. After divorcing Ivana Trump and then divorcing Marla Maples, it seems Donald has potentially found lasting love with his current wife Melania Trump. However, this has not stopped the rumor mill from suggesting that Donald and Melania are on their way to a split. With the pressures of a second presidency now pushing on their marriage, a few strange things about what does make their union work have blossomed to the surface.

Though Melania and Donald have always had an odd relationship, there are some aspects of it that seem to be deeply rooted in gender roles. Of course, Donald and Melania feel stuck in the past — their mutual sense of style often revolving around the 1980s. Donald has a fondness for oversized suits and ties, and Melania has worn some outdated outfits. It appears as if not only their sense of fashion, but also how they operate within their relationship is also reminiscent of bygone eras. In fact, there have been several times Melania and Donald have admitted to outdated gender roles within their marriage. Here are four glaring examples.

Just before Donald Trump and his wife Melania Trump returned to the White House for his second presidential term, an old interview of the couple leaked online. In 2004, before Donald and Melania threw themselves an extravagant wedding, they sat down on "The Ellen DeGeneres Show." The interview revealed not only Donald's pervasive germophobia but also his inclination towards some strict gender roles. When DeGeneres asked if Donald would ever "take out the garbage," Melania's response was telling. "No, he's doing his job," Melania said before admitting that the housekeeper is most likely on the hook for any garbage in the home.

DeGeneres pressed further, inquiring about the tidiness of the couple, regardless of hired help. Donald then described Melania as "immaculate," and that should he leaves their pre-marital bed even for "a minute, I come back the bed is made." For her part, Melania seemed to support this sentiment, saying, "I like stuff perfect ... I'm very organized."

While the gender roles of men working and women tidying are clearly on display here, there's something else poking through the surface in this exchange. One pervasive part of traditional and outdated gender roles is purity culture, which can often creep up in the language used. As discussed in Chidera Ochuagu's essay on Medium, there's a need for a woman to present herself as clean. It's no mistake that Donald mentioned Melania's "immaculate" tidiness in regards to their intimate bedroom space.

After officially tying the knot, Donald Trump and Melania Trump sat down on "Larry King Live" for an interview with CNN's Larry King. In the interview, Donald made a startling yet predictable revelation. When asked his thoughts on growing their own family, Donald responded with the bold assertion, "I'm not going to be making the food. I may never even see the kids." He did do his best to compliment Melania by saying, "She'll be an unbelievable mother. I'll be a good father."

The stubborn claim that making food and generally being around and emotionally providing for any children is not the role of a "good father" is a classic example of a hot pop psychology term — weaponized incompetence. According to Psychology Today, weaponized incompetence can look like someone strategically avoiding necessary household tasks, like caring for children, and therefore essentially shoving all responsibilities onto their partner. This is a major part of outdated gender roles, as it often manifests as the wife doing all the household duties so the husband can feel important elsewhere.

However, Melania appears to be on board with this dynamic. "To marry a man like Donald ... you need to be very strong and smart," she told King. While she didn't clarify what she meant by this, exactly, she did say, "He needs to know he can rely on me." However, her well of reliability might have run out, considering how absent Melania was from Donald's 2024 presidential campaign.

It's long been rumored that there's an icy distance in the marriage of Donald Trump and Melania Trump. Very rarely are they affectionate, so much so that any recent PDA between Donald and Melania seems to point towards covering up insecurities instead of expressing romance. Melania has repeatedly attempted to voice that she has her own independence within her marriage — perhaps to highlight that the purported distance between the couple is by design. However, it often comes across sounding like something else.

"It's a lot of responsibility for a woman to be married to a man like my husband," Melania said in an interview with since shuttered Parenting Magazine (via Bustle). Melania repeated this sentiment on ABC News with Barbara Walters, saying, "To be with a man as my husband ... you need to have a very independent life." While independence is often a healthy sign in most relationships, what's missing here is any acknowledgement of what Melania is doing to give Donald his space. 

In a 2015 interview with People, Melania and Donald discussed the chaos his presidential campaign was wreaking on the family. "I just don't have the time ... to spend with my children and my wife," Donald admitted, before continuing, "But they get how important this is." His assertion that, as a man, his career and public persona should come first is steeped in antiquated gender structures, although it seems that Melania was more than happy to support Donald's endeavors. "My husband is traveling...Barron needs somebody as a parent, so I am with him all the time." This, once again, seems to suggest that Donald views child-rearing as women's work, and Melania has so far refused to disagree.

On the heels of Donald Trump winning his second term in the White House, Melania Trump hit the press tour for her memoir "Melania." One of the stops Melania made was with Fox News personality Ainsley Earhardt for a gentle interview. During her sit down with Earhardt, Melania revealed a huge divide between herself and Donald that's also discussed in her book. Pushing back against the assumption that she's "just a wife of the president," Melania insisted that she and Donald often have a difference of opinions. "I don't always agree with [what] my husband [is] saying or doing, and that's okay," the first lady divulged.

There have been plenty of times Melania has rolled her eyes at her husband's behavior. Melania hates Donald's goofy impressions and also can't seem to stand the president's poor dance moves. While it can be wise to let some behaviors slide when it comes to committed partnerships, there could be a rather outdated and gendered reason for why Melania is trapped performing as the perpetual cool, chill wife.

In 2005, when Melania and Donald sat down with Larry King, Donald admitted something. "I don't want to have to go home and ... work at a relationship," Donald divulged. "A relationship you have to work at, in my opinion, doesn't work." It could be that instead of having healthy conflict with each other, Melania is simply deferring to her husband on many matters. As much as she claims they're both independent, he often doesn't appear to take her opinions into consideration, something that's deeply stuck in outdated thinking around gender roles in relationships.